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Quotes About Lawyers

Quotes tagged as "lawyers" (showing 1-30 of 118)
Charles Dickens
“It is a pleasant world we live in, sir, a very pleasant world. There are bad people in it, Mr. Richard, but if there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.”
Charles Dickens, The Old Curiosity Shop

George R.R. Martin
“Politicians were mostly people who'd had too little morals and ethics to stay lawyers.”
George R.R. Martin, Ace in the Hole

Jarod Kintz
“Politicians are like warts on the body of society. And the only thing worse than warts are lawyers and lobbyists.
”
Jarod Kintz, Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your Life

Will Rogers
“The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. ”
Will Rogers

Mario Puzo
“We are all honorable men here, we do not have to give each other assurances as if we were lawyers.”
Mario Puzo, The Godfather

Jarod Kintz
“As an animal lover, I don’t like zoos. I feel the only creatures that should be caged behind bars are politicians, lobbyists, and lawyers. And rapists, but I’ve already listed that three times.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

Diana Gabaldon
“Has he come armed, then?” she asked anxiously. “Has he brought a pistol or a sword?”

Ian shook his head, his dark hair lifting wildly in the wind.

“Oh, no, Mam!” he said. “It’s worse. He’s brought a lawyer!”
Diana Gabaldon, Voyager

Rachel Hartman
“I was half lawyer; I always noticed the loopholes.”
Rachel Hartman, Seraphina

Craig Ferguson
“Divorce lawyers stoke anger and fear in their clients, knowing that as long as the conflicts remain unresolved the revenue stream will keep flowing.”
Craig Ferguson, American on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot

John Grisham
“You advised him not to get a lawyer, giving as one of your reasons the opinion that lawyers are a pain in the ass. Gentlemen, the pain is here.
-Reggie Love”
John Grisham, The Client

Robert G. Ingersoll
“Some Christian lawyers—some eminent and stupid judges—have said and still say, that the Ten Commandments are the foundation of all law.

Nothing could be more absurd. Long before these commandments were given there were codes of laws in India and Egypt—laws against murder, perjury, larceny, adultery and fraud. Such laws are as old as human society; as old as the love of life; as old as industry; as the idea of prosperity; as old as human love.

All of the Ten Commandments that are good were old; all that were new are foolish. If Jehovah had been civilized he would have left out the commandment about keeping the Sabbath, and in its place would have said: 'Thou shalt not enslave thy fellow-men.' He would have omitted the one about swearing, and said: 'The man shall have but one wife, and the woman but one husband.' He would have left out the one about graven images, and in its stead would have said: 'Thou shalt not wage wars of extermination, and thou shalt not unsheathe the sword except in self-defence.'

If Jehovah had been civilized, how much grander the Ten Commandments would have been.

All that we call progress—the enfranchisement of man, of labor, the substitution of imprisonment for death, of fine for imprisonment, the destruction of polygamy, the establishing of free speech, of the rights of conscience; in short, all that has tended to the development and civilization of man; all the results of investigation, observation, experience and free thought; all that man has accomplished for the benefit of man since the close of the Dark Ages—has been done in spite of the Old Testament.”
Robert G. Ingersoll, About The Holy Bible

“All we know about the new economic world tells us that nations which train engineers will prevail over those which train lawyers. No nation has ever sued its way to greatness. ”
Richard Lamm

Rachel Hartman
“Claude rubs the back of his neck and wrinkles his nose, about to tell me he was never sad. I believe this is called bravado and is not limited to lawyers, or even men, although that combination makes it almost unavoidable.”
Rachel Hartman, Seraphina

Yevgeny Zamyatin
“Don't forget that we lawyers, we're a higher breed of intellect, and so it's our privilege to lie. It's as clear as day. Animals can't even imagine lying: if you were to find yourself among some wild islanders, they too would only speak the truth until they learned about European culture.”
Yevgeny Zamyatin, Islanders And, The Fisher Of Men

Terry Pratchett
“Mister Rob Anybody and sundry others?" said one of the figures in a dreadful voice.

"There's naebody here o' that name!" shouted Rob Anybody. "We dinna know anythin'!"

"We have here a list of criminal and civil charges totaling nineteen thousand, seven hundred and sixty-three separate offenses-"

"We wasna there!" yelled Rob Anybody desperately. "Isn't that right, lads?"

"-including more than two thousand cases of Making an Affray, Causing a Public Nuisance, Being Found Drunk, Being Found Very Drunk, Using Offensive Language (taking into account ninety-seven cases of Using Language That Was Probably Offensive If Anyone Else Could Understand It), Committing a Breach of the Peace, Malicious Lingering-"

"It's mistaken identity!" shouted Rob Anybody. "It's no' oour fault! We wuz only standing there an' someone else did it and ran awa'!"

"-Grand Theft, Petty Theft, Burglary, Housebreaking, Loitering with Intent to Commit a Felony-"

"We wuz misunderstood when we was wee bairns!" yelled Rob Anybody. "Ye're only picking on us 'cause we're blue! We always get blamed for everythin'! The polis hate us! We wasna even in the country!”
Terry Pratchett

S.J. Parris
“It is strange the way that someone who wants to find you guilty can start to make you believe in your own guilt, even when you know you are innocent. I was afraid I would condemn myself my mistake.”
S.J. Parris, Heresy

Jarod Kintz
“Who leads the world in consumption? America! Who has more lawyers per capita? America! Who has the highest incarceration rate? America! What is the greatest country on earth? America!”
Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over.

Jarod Kintz
“America’s been ruined by one word: Bankers. No, two words: Bankers and lawyers. Make that three words. Add politicians to that list. Oh, and don’t forget the lobbyists.”
Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over.

Jarod Kintz
“The world needs more laws. I say this only because I believe the world needs more lawyers. If everybody was a lawyer, there’d be no unemployment, because the economy would be like a great lawsuit factory. Farmers in this utopia wouldn’t raise crops, they’d raise suspicion.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

S.J. Parris
“But they argued as lawyers do, they twisted every answer I gave until it sounded like the opposite meaning, and I became so confused and afraid I found myself agreeing to statements that I knew were not true.”
S.J. Parris, Heresy

Jodi Picoult
“Lawyers were notorious for finding cases in the most unlikely places, especially ones with huge potential damagers awards.”
Jodi Picoult, Handle with Care

Reed Farrel Coleman
“When cops are on the job they love lawyers like lions love hyenas, only minus the mutual respect.”
Reed Farrel Coleman, The James Deans

“A heart can only discover what it really wants with experience.”
Kathy Bates

Jarod Kintz
“Sometimes I put on a black scuba suit and go walking on the beach, to relax. If I could, I’d sleep in a scuba suit—on a waterbed. Not that I actually ever get in the ocean. Too many dangerous things in the water, like barracudas, sharks, and of course there are many lawyers here on the east coast.”
Jarod Kintz, Gosh, I probably shouldn't publish this.

“If you don't start playing by my rules, you'll be lucky to be licking stamps in some lowly, legal aid office.”
Linda Pohl, Lawyers, Lovers, and Lies

P.G. Wodehouse
“If you are a millionaire beset by blackmailers or anyone else to whose comfort the best legal advice is essential, and have decided to put your affairs in the hands of the ablest and discreetest firm in London, you proceed through a dark and grimy entry and up a dark and grimy flight of stairs; and, having felt your way along a dark and grimy passage, you come at length to a dark and grimy door. There is plenty of dirt in other parts of Ridgeway's Inn, but nowhere is it so plentiful, so rich in alluvial deposits, as on the exterior of the offices of Marlowe, Thorpe, Prescott, Winslow and Appleby. As you tap on the topmost of the geological strata concealing the ground-glass of the door, a sense of relief and security floods your being. For in London grubbiness is the gauge of a lawyer's respectability.”
P.G. Wodehouse, The Girl on the Boat

Jarod Kintz
“America’s problem, in a word, is politicians. In two words, it’s politicians and lobbyists. In three words, it’s politicians, lobbyists, and lawyers. And finally, in four words, it’s politicians, lobbyists, lawyers, and bankers.”
Jarod Kintz, 99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Jackson Burnett
“He recognized it and knew it. In others—clients, witnesses, or sometimes adversaries, he had seen or heard it: A gesture, a phrase, or a tone which exposed unintended truth in the beat of a second.”
Jackson Burnett, The Past Never Ends

Jarod Kintz
“They settled out of court. In related news, two fish fought over an aquarium, rather than in the aquarium.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

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