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Quotes About Ketchup

Quotes tagged as "ketchup" (showing 1-13 of 13)
Jarod Kintz
“Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

Jarod Kintz
“On the scale of tomato to ketchup, my girlfriend is definitely a 57.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

Jarod Kintz
“Leave me with my leftover meatloaf and my Yesterday Sandwich. I’ll be in love tomorrow, if you come back with the ketchup.”
Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

Jarod Kintz
“I drink ketchup like I drink tomato juice—with a hotdog fashioned into a straw. Ask me about my Lovemaking Technique #22.”
Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Libba Bray
“Agent Jones switched to the big screen and a grainy video of MoMo sitting at his enormous desk, a swivel-hipped Elvis clock ticking behind his bewigged head. 'Death to the capitalist pigs! Death to your cinnamon bun-smelling malls! Death to your power walking and automatic car windows and I'm With Stupid T-shirts! The Republic of ChaCha will never bend to your side-of-fries -drive -through-please-oh-would-you-like-ketchup-with-that corruption! MoMo B. ChaCha defies you and all you stand for, and one day, you will crumble into the sea and we will pick up the pieces and make them into sand art.”
Libba Bray, Beauty Queens

Richard Armour
“Shake and shake the catsup bottle. None will come, and then a lot'll.”
Richard Armour

Jarod Kintz
“My shirt is mustard yellow, to hide my ketchup stains. But as clever as that is, I can’t hide my love for you. It stands out like an erection in a circus tent.”
Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Jarod Kintz
“I keep the ketchup in the fridge, though from now on I’m going to keep in the bottle. Less messy, I figure.”
Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

Jarod Kintz
“Check the couch cushions for change—and hope. I drink my coffee raw, straight out of the ketchup bottle.”
Jarod Kintz, I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

Jarod Kintz
“I loved her like meatloaf. Our love was the kind covered in ketchup—and not gravy.”
Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

Jarod Kintz
“I met a man with no forehead and receding eyebrows. He had ketchup crusted on his eyelids. I can't remember what we talked about, I just remember him smelling like chicken feed.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

Jarod Kintz
“I live off of two jars of mayonnaise a month. Life’s OK. I’m scraping by. But I could really go for a ketchup popsicle and a tube of love.”
Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

Hal Duncan
“The quirky flavourings of the idiosyncratic ideologue ultimately drowned in the ketchup of redheaded twins and nipples that go spung.”
Hal Duncan, Rhapsody: Notes on Strange Fictions

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