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Quotes About Humorous

Quotes tagged as "humorous" (showing 61-90 of 1,429)
Mark A. Cooper
“He's given me enough homework to last ten years. I'm gonna die of nerdism." Jason said.”
Mark A. Cooper, Absolutely Nothing

Veronica Roth
“I like to think I'm helping them by hating them. I'm reminding them that they aren't God's gift to humankind.”
Veronica Roth, Divergent

J.R. Ward
“If sex were food, Rhage would haven been morbidly obese.”
J.R. Ward, Dark Lover

Mary Calmes
“I want you back here now. I want you next to me now. I cannot believe that my family, your brother, all our friends, and an entire police force can't keep tabs on one twenty-six year old graphic designer who thinks he's fuckin' Batman.
--Detective Sam Kage in A Matter Of Time (vol 2 or part 4)”
Mary Calmes

Zoë Marriott
“To ugly ducklings everywhere,
Don't worry about those fluffy yellow morons:
They'll never get to be swans”
Zoë Marriott, The Swan Kingdom

Kresley Cole
“Please put your penises away, gentlemen. Dinner is procured. By a woman.”
Kresley Cole, Pleasure of a Dark Prince

Marshall McLuhan
“I don't necessarily agree with everything that I say.”
Marshall McLuhan

Douglas Adams
“There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind.”
Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

E. Lockhart
“I can't forget things, or ignore them-bad things that happen," I said. "I'm a lay-it-all-out person, a dwell-on-it person, an obsess-about-it person. If I hold things in and try to forget or pretend, I become a madman and have panic attacks. I have to talk.”
E. Lockhart, Real Live Boyfriends: Yes. Boyfriends, Plural. If My Life Weren't Complicated, I Wouldn't Be Ruby Oliver

“We're going to the Underworld," Izzy said. She bounced a little as she said it, her eyes bright and her tone implying that "the Underworld" was akin to "Candy Land.”
Rachel Hawkins, Spell Bound

Tamora Pierce
“I was stark raving mad, and my family was too polite to mention it. That's what living with the Yamanis does to people. They get so well-mannered they won't mention you're crazy.”
Tamora Pierce, Page

John Kennedy Toole
“I mingle with my peers or no one, and since I have no peers, I mingle with no one.”
John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces

Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez
“He soon acquired the forlorn look that one sees in vegetarians.”
Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude

Amy Neftzger
“It's 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is?”
Amy Neftzger

Simone Elkeles
“Daddy, What's the horizontal tango?”
Simone Elkeles, Rules of Attraction

Chuck Klosterman
“Perhaps we humans are still in command, and perhaps there really will be a conventional robot war in the not-so-distant future. If so, let's roll. I'm ready. My toaster will never be the boss of me. Get ready to make me some Pop-Tarts, bitch.”
Chuck Klosterman

Lemony Snicket
“But the three siblings were not born yesterday. Violet was born more than fifteen years before this particular Wednesday, and Klaus was born approximately two years after that, and even Sunny who had just passed out of babyhood, was not born yesterday. Neither were you, unless of course I am wrong, in which case, welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.”
Lemony Snicket, The Penultimate Peril

Jerry Seinfeld
“I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.”
Jerry Seinfeld

Derek Landy
“She had been a teenager once, and she knew that, despite the apparent contradictions, a person's teenage years lasted well into their fifties.”
Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

Lloyd Alexander
“-"He loved her...It was noble of him. It was beautiful."

-"It was stupid.”
Lloyd Alexander, Westmark

Masashi Kishimoto
“A smile is the best way to get oneself out of a tight spot, even if it is a fake one. Surprisingly enough, everyone takes it at face value. I read that in a book."

"If you keep staring at me, I'll hit you."

"I only became part of your team recently when I replaced Sasuke, so I don't know everything that's going on. I don't really understand people either. But even I can tell that Naruto really loves you. Naruto's been shouldering that promise for a long time...I think he means to shoulder it for the rest of his life. I don't know what you said to him, but it's just like what's been done to me - it feels like a curse. Sasuke causes Naruto pain, but I think you do too."

"Sasuke is only helping spread his darkness across the world. Letting him live will only sow the seeds of another war. He's just another criminal now. Sasuke lost all hope of coming back when his group, Akatsuki, attacked our village. Your fellow Konoha shinobi would never accept him now. Sakura's not stupid, either. She understands the position he's put us all in. That's why she came out here, to tell you herself.”
Masashi Kishimoto

Jonathan Safran Foer
“This is the sixty-nine," I told him, presenting the magazine in front of him. I put my fingers -- two of them -- on the action, so that he would not overlook it. "Why is it dubbed sixty-nine?" he asked, because he is a person hot on fire with curiosity. "It was invented in 1969. My friend Gregory knows a friend of the nephew of the inventor." "What did people do before 1969?" "Merely blowjobs and masticating box, but never in chorus.”
Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated

Christopher Moore
“Fuckstockings!”
Christopher Moore

Libba Bray
“Hold up. How do you accidentally have sex with somebody?” Adina scoffed. “Is she all, ‘Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t see your penis there’?”
Libba Bray, Beauty Queens

Evangeline Anderson
“Just tell him to keep his hands to himself and his python in his pants.”
Evangeline Anderson, Claimed

“I strive for perfection - I settle for satisfaction”
Carroll Bryant

Nicole  Williams
“Still trying to save the world?”
“Always,” I said, “and in case you haven’t noticed, it’s working. The world is still here.”
Nicole Williams, Crash

Derek Landy
“Tanith frowned. Did people still go on DATES any more? She was sure they did. They probably called it something different though. She tried to think of the last date she'd been on. The last PROPER date. Did fighting side by side with Saracen Rue count as a date? They ended up snuggling under the moonlight, drenched in gore and pieces of brain - so it had PROBABLY been a date. If it wasn't, it was certainly a fun time had by all. Well, not ALL. But she and Saracen had sure had a blast.”
Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

Gail Carriger
“I like fish," chirruped Tunstell.
"Really, Mr. Tunstell? What is your preferred breed?"
"Well"--Tunstell hesitated--"you know, the um, ones that"--he made a swooping motion with both hands--"uh, swim.”
Gail Carriger, Changeless

“He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke.”
Carroll Bryant

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