quote

Quotes About Humorous

Quotes tagged as "humorous" (showing 331-360 of 1,324)
Nora Ephron
“There is something called the rapture of the deep, and it refers to what happens when a deep-sea diver spends too much time at the bottom of the ocean and can't tell which way is up. When he surfaces, he's liable to have a condition called the bends, where the body can't adapt to the oxygen levels in the atmosphere. All of this happens to me when I surface from a great book.”
Nora Ephron, I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman

Leo Tolstoy
“Himmlisch ist's wenn ich bezwungen Meine irdische Begier; Aber doch wenn's nich gelungen Hatt' ich auch recht huebsch Plaisir!

Loosely translated:

It is heavenly, when I overcome
My earthly desires
But nevertheless, when I'm not successful,
It can also be quite pleasurable.”
Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina

Jacqueline Wilson
“Elsa's joke Where do baby apes sleep?
In apricots!”
Jacqueline Wilson

Dianna Hardy
“I'm hoping you end up happily married to the man of your dreams and have a hoard of beautiful kids that'll keep you on your toes by turning your neighbours into various types of pond-life." He then shot her his signature grin. "But if it happens to be me, then I wouldn't say no."

(Karl to Elena in The Witching Pen)”
Dianna Hardy, The Witching Pen

Obert Skye
“Stupid deer," I said, embarrassed about being startled. "We need a ladder."

"I think they're easier to shoot with a rifle."

"I'm not talking about the deer," I said, hitting Milo on the back of his shoulder. "We need a ladder to look over the wall."

"Or a catapult," Milo said seriously.”
Obert Skye, Pillage

Brent Weeks
“It had better be. It doesn't do much when it's soft.”
Brent Weeks, The Way of Shadows

Adam Selzer
“Wow,” says Peter, “when your guidance counselor tells you to die, you really have problems.”
Adam Selzer, I Kissed a Zombie, and I Liked It

Stephen Deas
“Try again. No no no, eyes up, eyes up! When you bow to someone you look at them, not at the floor. Don't look at her in the eye though lad, that's rude. And not THERE, either.”
Stephen Deas, The Thief-Taker's Apprentice

Frank McCourt
“They can afford to smile because they all have teeth so dazzling if they dropped them in the snow they'd be lost forever.”
Frank McCourt, 'Tis

Erin Bow
“Taggle was absorbed in the meat pie. ‘It’s covered in BREAD,’ he huffed. ‘What fool has covered MEAT with BREAD?”
Erin Bow, Plain Kate

K.M. Parr
“Shut up, you fool...Really. I’m running out of things to throw at you.”
K.M. Parr, The Clairvoyance Clock

John Steinbeck
“Writers are a little below clowns and a little above trained seals.”
John Steinbeck

Cameron Dokey
“There is a tale...It tells of the days when a blight hung over our land. Nothing prospered. Nothing flourished. Not even zucchini would grow.”
Cameron Dokey, Golden

Sarah Winman
“Shut up, Arthur,' said my mother, and he zipped his mouth shut like an infuriating child.

Ginger started to laugh. Not at anything in particular, but just because Ginger was stoned.”
Sarah Winman, When God Was a Rabbit

Clive Cussler
“While like most men, Sam prided himself on being equipped with a supernatural internal compass that kept him from ever being lost, he'd also learned to concede those rare times when that compass seemed to be temporary disrepair.”
Clive Cussler, Lost Empire

“No one could honestly say that a musical makes sense.”
Siegfried Kracauer

Neil Leckman
“I sprayed my dog with off and he still sits in my favorite chair!!”
Neil Leckman

Dori Hillestad Butler
“I'd much rather have a brain of my own than be popular.”
Dori Hillestad Butler, The Truth about Truman School

Agatha Christie
“He dragged me back - just in time. A tree had crashed down on to the side walk, just missing us. Poirot stared at it, pale and upset.
"It was a near thing that! But clumsy, all the same - for I had no suspicion - at least hardly any suspicion. Yes, but for my quick eyes, the eyes of a cat, Hercule Poirot might now be crushed out of existence - a terrible calamity for the world. And you, too, mon ami - though that would not be such a national catastrophe."
"Thank you," I said coldly.”
Agatha Christie, The Big Four

Mike Carey
“It was a hot, moist armpit of a night...”
Mike Carey, The Naming of the Beasts

“Apollo wanted out. Out of Aphrodite, out of this bathroom, out of this house, and out of this life.”
Marie Phillips, Gods Behaving Badly

Quentin R. Bufogle
“A friend told me that one day he and I would be rich and famous. I told him that I'd trade my half of the fame, for his half of the money.”
Quentin R. Bufogle

“Silence! I keel you!!”
― Achmed The Dead Terrorist

Z.A. Maxfield
“That?" I glanced back to the door where JT had disappeared. "That was Genus Homo, species Whowantstofuckus, subspecies Closeted Headup Hisassia. Let us move on to the cages with the interesting animals."
--Jacob "Yasha" Livingston”
Z.A. Maxfield, Jacob's Ladder

Gerard de Marigny
“There's something to be said about drinking a carafe of wine by yourself ... I just can't remember at the moment what it is! (said after drinking a carafe of wine by himself)”
Gerard de Marigny, The Watchman of Ephraim

Maddie Dawson
“She batted those
eyelashes at me so hard I thought I felt a breeze.”
Maddie Dawson, The Stuff That Never Happened

“Well they started it cause they were, you know, PO'd.”
― Tyler O'Neil

Carl Hiaasen
“From the bow of the canoe she asked, "Do you know a rain dance?"
"First I need a virgin.”
Carl Hiaasen, Nature Girl

Timothy Pina
“True...I hear voices in my head keep talking to me. The good thing for now is...I never answer them back.”
Timothy Pina

Laurell K. Hamilton
“who me?"
anita blake series
by: Laurell K Hamilton”
Laurell K. Hamilton, Danse Macabre

All Quotes | My Quotes | Add A Quote


Browse By Tag

More...