Quotes About Humorous

Quotes tagged as "humorous" (showing 1-30 of 1,730)
Veronica Roth
“I might be in love with you." He smiles a little. "I'm waiting until I'm sure to tell you, though.”
Veronica Roth, Divergent

Mo Willems
“If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.”
Mo Willems, Goldilocks and the Three Dinosaurs

Cassandra Clare
“You might want to lie down," Magnus advised. "I find that it helps when the crushing sense of horrible realization sets in.”
Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

Oscar Wilde
“Men always want to be a woman’s first love. That is their clumsy vanity. We women have a more subtle instinct about these things. What (women) like is to be a man’s last romance.”
Oscar Wilde

Jennifer L. Armentrout
“Thanks,” I muttered and added under my breath, “Douchebag.”

He laughed, deep and throaty. “Now that’s not very ladylike, Kittycat.”

I whipped around. “Don’t ever call me that,” I snapped.

“It’s better than calling someone a douchebag, isn’t it?” He pushed out the door. “This has been a stimulating visit. I’ll cherish it for a long time to come.”

Okay. That was it. “You know, you’re right. How wrong of me to call you a douchebag. Because a douchebag is too nice of a word for you,” I said, smiling sweetly. “You’re a dickhead.”

“A dickhead?” he repeated. “How charming.”

I flipped him off.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, Obsidian

Oscar Wilde
“I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.”
Oscar Wilde

Gilda Radner
“I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.”
Gilda Radner

Josephine Angelini
“She decided that if Lucas was gay then she was going to have to get a sex change operation. He would be so worth it.”
Josephine Angelini, Starcrossed

Cassandra Clare
“I suspect he's sweet on Sophie and doesn't like to see her work too hard.'
Tessa was glad to hear it. She'd felt awful about her reaction to Sophie's scar, and the thought that Sophie had a male admirer - and a handsome one like that- eased her conscience slightly. 'Perhaps he's in love with Agatha', she said.
'I hope not. I intend to marry Agatha myself. She may be a thousand years old, but she makes an incomparable jam tart. Beauty fades, but cooking is eternal.”
Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel

Laurie Halse Anderson
“I picked up one of the books and flipped through it. Don't get me wrong, I like reading. But some books should come with warning labels: Caution: contains characters and plots guaranteed to induce sleepiness. Do not attempt to operate heavy machinery after ingesting more than one chapter. Has been known to cause blindness, seizures and a terminal loathing of literature. Should only be taken under the supervision of a highly trained English teacher. Preferably one who grades on the curve.”
Laurie Halse Anderson, Twisted

James Patterson
“He [Iggy] started reaching for things around the table, and his hand landed on Total. “You’re black.”
“I prefer canine-American,” said Total.”
James Patterson, The Final Warning

Mark Twain
“It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt”
Mark Twain

Veronica Roth
“I like to think I'm helping them by hating them. I'm reminding them that they aren't God's gift to humankind.”
Veronica Roth, Divergent

“Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.”
Carroll Bryant

Stieg Larsson
“I can be a regular bitch. Just try me.”
Stieg Larsson, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Dean Koontz
“Humanity is a parade of fools, and I am at the front of it, twirling a baton.”
Dean Koontz

Jeaniene Frost
“You’re not going to let her do this, are you?” Bones snorted. “Let her? Mate, if you think you can control a woman, you must be single—-and a thousand pounds says she beats your arse.”
Jeaniene Frost, This Side of the Grave

Shannon Hale
“He had a dashing smile. It nearly dashed right off his face.”
Shannon Hale, Austenland

Jeaniene Frost
“My dear Reaper," Vlad said, still laughing. 'Did you just check out our-'
'No!' I interrupted at once, almost lunging toward the staircase. 'I'm tired and still dazed from the Remanats and ... fuck it, I'm taking a shower. I mean, not a cold shower, because I don't need that.' -oh Jesus I was only making this worse- 'because I am cold already, and I need to get hot. I mean, warmer. Oh just shut up!' " -Pg 280”
Jeaniene Frost, This Side of the Grave

Becca Fitzpatrick
“Citizen's arrest," he said. "Well, that, and Patch told me to.”
Becca Fitzpatrick, Crescendo

Josephine Angelini
“I only have so much willpower, Helen," he whispered. "And since you apparently sleep in the most ridiculously transparent tank top I've ever seen, I'm going to have to ask you to get under the covers before I do something stupid.”
Josephine Angelini, Starcrossed

Jeaniene Frost
“Much slower, I turned around to see Vlad examining his fingernails, as if his hands weren't still ablaze in the flames that had blasted the ghoul's head off moments before.
'what the hell was that?' I gasped.
'Premature inflammation,' He replied. 'Happens sometimes. Very embarrassing, I don't like to talk about it.' ”
Jeaniene Frost, This Side of the Grave

Nicholas Sparks
“Dean: If there is a greater power, why is it he can't get you a new sweater?
Jamie: Because, he's too busy looking for your brain.”
Nicholas Sparks, A Walk to Remember

Edward Verrall Lucas
“I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.”
Edward Verrall Lucas

Anthony Horowitz
“There's a name for people with an interest in the moon," Alex said. "They're called lunatics.”
Anthony Horowitz, Crocodile Tears

Jeaniene Frost
“Bones didn’t share any of my qualms about suddenly holding an arm that wasn’t attached to a body anymore. He just grabbed the ghoul by his other arm and began thumping him over the head with the loose limb. I’d heard Bones threaten to beat someone with their own limb before, but I’d always assumed that was a figure of speech. Apparently not.”
Jeaniene Frost, This Side of the Grave

Derek Landy
“I swear, talking to you is like talking to a really good-looking and mildly stupid brick wall.”
Derek Landy, Death Bringer

Colleen Houck
“Just so you know, I hate camping. I'm not so much appreciating the fact that there's no bathroom out here. 'Nature calls' while walking in nature is on my list of least favorite things. You tigers, and men in general, have it so much easier than us girls.”
Colleen Houck, Tiger's Curse

Stephenie Meyer
“It was strange and amusing...and, honestly, a bit embarrassing...to realize how much being near Bella had softened me. It seemed like no one was afraid of me any more. If Emmett found out about this, he would be laughing for the next century.”
Stephenie Meyer, Midnight Sun

James Dashner
“Didn't know you could measure distance so well with nothing but you bloody eyeballs”
James Dashner, The Scorch Trials

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