Quotes About Humor Inspirational

Quotes tagged as "humor-inspirational" (showing 1-30 of 271)
Pittacus Lore
“We don't have to be defined by the things we did or didn't do in our past. Some people allow themselves to be controlled by regret. Maybe it's a regret, maybe it's not. It's merely something that happened. Get over it.”
Pittacus Lore, I Am Number Four

Mindy Kaling
“Sometimes you just have to put on lip gloss and pretend to be psyched.”
Mindy Kaling

Darynda Jones
“Never trust a man with a penis.”
Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

Zoë Marriott
“To ugly ducklings everywhere,
Don't worry about those fluffy yellow morons:
They'll never get to be swans”
Zoë Marriott, The Swan Kingdom

Orson Scott Card
“Parents always make their worst mistakes with their oldest children. That's when parents know the least and care the most, so they're more likely to be wrong and also more likely to insist that they're right.”
Orson Scott Card, Xenocide

“No matter where life takes me, you'll find me with a smile. Presumed to be happy, always laughing like a child. I never thought life could be this sweet! It's got me cheesing from cheek to cheek!”
Mac Miller

Christopher Paolini
“You'll enjoy it. There is much you can learn from books and scrolls," said Jeod. He gestured at the walls. "These books are my friends, my companions. They make me laugh and cry and find meaning in life."

"It sounds intriguing," admitted Eragon.

"Always the scholar, aren't you?" asked Brom.

Jeod shrugged. "Not anymore. I'm afraid I've degenerated into a bibliophile.”
Christopher Paolini, Eragon

Lev Grossman
“The process of learning is a nonstop orgy of wonderment.”
Lev Grossman, The Magicians

Michael P. Clutton
“If laughter is the best medicine, let's OD together.”
Michael P. Clutton

Jim Butcher
“Mister Dresden," he said. "And Miss Rodriguez, I believe. I didn't realize you were an art collector."
"I am the foremost collector of velvet Elvii in the city of Chicago," I said at once.
"Elvii?" Marcone inquired.
"The plural could be Elvises, I guess," I said. "But if I say that too often, I start muttering to myself and calling things 'my precious,' so I usually go with the Latin plural.”
Jim Butcher, Death Masks

Ogden Nash
“Certainly there are things in life that money can’t buy, but it’s very funny –
Did you ever try buying them without money.”
Ogden Nash

Trisha Ventker
“A lot of men tend to want "models"
I tell men, unless they look like a model themselves, they can't expect to land one.”
Trisha Ventker, Internet Dates from Hell

Louis C.K.
“When you write from your gut and let the stuff stay flawed and don't let anybody tell you to make it better, it can end up looking like nothing else.”
Louis C.K.

Katina Ferguson
“When you have failed at being nice, you’ve actually succeeded in being mean. Success is everywhere if you know where to look for it.”
Katina Ferguson

Donald Gorman
“More often than not, if a person is wearing a smile, there is a victim attached somewhere.”
Donald Gorman, Paradox

“Why sadness was created?
So we could rest from laughing.”
Nelson M. Lubao

Cassandra Duffy
“I'll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that's probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess.”
Cassandra Duffy

Jeff Somers
“I decided to irritate him, on the premise that it couldn't make my situation any worse.”
Jeff Somers, The Terminal State

Jodi Picoult
“Real mothers don't just listen with humble embarrassment to the elderly lady who offers unsolicited advice in the checkout line when a child is throwing a tantrum. We take the child, dump him in the lady's cart, and say, "Great. Maybe you can do a better job."

Real mothers know that it's okay to eat cold pizza for breakfast.

Real mothers admit it is easier to fail at this job than to succeed.”
Jodi Picoult, House Rules

Haresh Daswani
“I'm not mean, I just give people a good reason to hate me”
Haresh Daswani

Arnold Bennett
“A cause may be inconvenient, but it's magnificent. It's like champagne or high heels, and one must be prepared to suffer for it.”
Arnold Bennett, The Title: A Comedy in Three Acts

“Life is like the stock market. Some days you're up. Some days you're down. And some days you feel like something the bull left behind.”
Paula Wall, If I Were a Man, I'd Marry Me

Ion Luca Caragiale
“Do you want to know the world? Then look at it closely. Do you want to like it? Then look at it from afar.”
Ion Luca Caragiale

A.A. Milne
“One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.”
A.A. Milne

Mark Alders
“If someone wanted to have a grudge against me, or didn't agree with my lifestyle, the way I breathed, the space I took up on this planet, they had an open door to 'report' to the powers that be.”
Mark Alders

Gerard de Marigny
“I told a doctor once, "Doc, if you want to know what's inside of me, put down the x-ray and pick up my novel!”
Gerard de Marigny, The Watchman of Ephraim

Ellen DeGeneres
“I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.”
Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously... I'm Kidding

Anne Stuart
“You know as well as I do, damn you. Like it or not I seem to have grown a heart. I have absolutely no use for the damned thing, but there it sits, demanding Elinor. I can't live without her.”
Anne Stuart, Ruthless

Tom Robbins
“It is what it is.
You are what you it.
There are no mistakes."
--Villa Incognito”
Tom Robbins

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