Quotes About Dysfunctional Families

Quotes tagged as "dysfunctional-families" (showing 1-30 of 85)
Carrie Fisher
Karl Marx: "Religion is the opiate of the masses."

Carrie Fisher: "I did masses of opiates religiously.”
Carrie Fisher, Postcards from the Edge

Keri Hulme
“A family can be the bane of one's existence. A family can also be most of the meaning of one's existence. I don't know whether my family is bane or meaning, but they have surely gone away and left a large hole in my heart.”
Keri Hulme, The Bone People

Benjamin Alire Sáenz
“See, I think there are roads that lead us to each other. But in my family, there were no roads - just underground tunnels. I think we all got lost in those underground tunnels. No, not lost. We just lived there.”
Benjamin Alire Sáenz, Last Night I Sang to the Monster

Stefan Molyneux
“Awkward silences rule the world. People are so terrified of awkward silences that they will literally go to war rather than face an awkward silence.”
Stefan Molyneux

Erin Merryn
“Along with the trust issues, one of the hardest parts to deal with is the feeling of not being believed or supported, especially by your own grandparents and extended family. When I have been through so much pain and hurt and have to live with the scars every day, I get angry knowing that others think it is all made up or they brush it off because my cousin was a teenager. I was ten when I was first sexually abused by my cousin, and a majority of my relatives have taken the perpetrator's side. I have cried many times about everything and how my relatives gave no support or love to me as a kid when this all came out. Not one relative ever came up to that innocent little girl I was and said "I am sorry for what you went through" or "I am here for you." Instead they said hurtful things: "Oh he was young." "That is what kids do." "It is not like he was some older man you didn't know." Why does age make a difference? It is a sick way of thinking. Sexual abuse is sexual abuse. What is wrong with this picture? It brings tears to my eyes the way my relatives have reacted to this and cannot accept the truth. Denial is where they would rather stay.”
Erin Merryn, Living for Today: From Incest and Molestation to Fearlessness and Forgiveness

“Making amends is not only saying the words but also being willing to listen to how your behavior caused another’s pain, and then the really hard part…changing behavior.”
David W. Earle

Siobhan Davis
“I was wrong last night. Kyler isn’t just trouble. He’s an apocalypse-level disaster waiting to happen. I need to find some fallout shelter to hide in. And quick.”
Siobhan Davis, Finding Kyler

Siobhan Davis
“Wracking sobs rip from the innermost chamber of my heart, and I give into them, allowing them to fully take over. Pain lances me on all sides, and I bury my head in my knees, giving in to the heartache.
I cry for my parents.
For my lost life.
For the threat that Addison poses, scaring me in ways it shouldn’t.
For a boy I can’t have and shouldn’t want.
For the never-ending gut-wrenching hollow ache in my chest and the soul-crushing loneliness I feel.”
Siobhan Davis, Finding Kyler

Siobhan Davis
“He knows I’ve seen something in him. Something I recognize, only because it exists in me too.”
Siobhan Davis, Finding Kyler

Siobhan Davis
“What is that?” Addison inspects the food with a look of sheer revulsion on her face. You’d swear I just handed her a plate full of arsenic.
“The Works Burger with fries and extra onions and cheese, exactly as you ordered.” I keep my voice level.
She sends me a scathing look. “Do I look like I’d ever consume that amount of saturated fat?”
Siobhan Davis, Finding Kyler

Erin Merryn
“She was so upset about a blog that maybe a total of six people read yet had no compassion for her granddaughters who had suffered the physical and emotional pains of sexual abuse and whose lives were changed forever. The two cannot even be compared, yet when someone is in denial about what happened, they cannot perceive what is true. It seemed too hard for her to let her mind go there and believe her grandson could do such terrible things.”
Erin Merryn, Living for Today: From Incest and Molestation to Fearlessness and Forgiveness

Tracy Letts
“We covered this around Year Three, Bill: that you're the Master of Space and Time and I'm a spastic Pomeranian.”
Tracy Letts, August: Osage County

“When faced with choosing between attributing their pain to “being crazy” and having had abusive parents, clients will choose “crazy” most of the time. Dora, a 38-year-old, was profoundly abused by multiple family perpetrators and has grappled with cutting and eating disordered behaviors for most of her life. She poignantly echoed this dilemma in her therapy:
I hate it when we talk about my family as “dysfunctional” or “abusive.” Think about what you are asking me to accept—that my parents didn't love me, care about me, or protect me. If I have to choose between "being abused" or "being sick and crazy," it's less painful to see myself as nuts than to imagine my parents as evil.
Lisa Ferentz, Treating Self-Destructive Behaviors in Trauma Survivors: A Clinician's Guide

Rosamund Hodge
“I can't love him. I don't. This feeling is not the selfish, grasping need that I've seen tear apart my family, writhing through heir hearts like worms through rotten apples.”
Rosamund Hodge, Gilded Ashes

Rebecca McNutt
“Amanda, you finally decided to answer the phone,” her mom exclaimed after picking up at the first ring. “Where’ve you been, what’ve you been up to?”

“Mom, do you remember when I was a kid, I had a friend, he was a Personification of the Sydney Tar Ponds, sort of my imaginary friend?” Mandy asked.

“No, what in the name of god are you on about?” her mom sighed in exasperation.

“Remember? Only I could see him, but he was real and he was my best friend when I was eighteen?” Mandy insisted.

“No, I don't remember Alecto Sydney Steele at all,” said her mom all too quickly.”
Rebecca McNutt, Shadowed Skies: The Third Smog City Novel

Pat Conroy
“I’ve written more about my parents than any writer in the history of the world, and I still return to their mysterious effigies as I try to figure out what it all means—some kind of annunciation or maybe even a summing-up They still exert immense control over me even though they’ve been dead for so long. But I can conjure up their images without exerting a thimbleful of effort.”
Pat Conroy, A Lowcountry Heart: Reflections on a Writing Life

“Adults who were hurt as children inevitably exhibit a peculiar strength, a profound inner wisdom, and a remarkable creativity and insight. Deep within them - just beneath the wound - lies a profound spiritual vitality, a quiet knowing, a way of perceiving what is beautiful, right, and true. Since their early experiences were so dark and painful, they have spent much of their lives in search of the gentleness, love, and peace they have only imagined in the privacy of their own hearts.”
Wayne Muller, Legacy of the Heart: The Spiritual Advantage of a Painful Childhood

Judith Lewis Herman
“..[The] disclosure of the incest secret initiates a profound crisis for the family usually...the abuse has been going on for a number of years and has become an integral part of family life. Disclosure disrupts whatever fragile equilibrium has been maintained, jeopardizes the functioning of all family members, increases the likelihood of violent and desperate behavior, and places everyone, but particularly the daughter, at risk for retaliation.”
Judith Lewis Herman, Father-Daughter Incest: With a New Afterword

Judith Lewis Herman
“In some instances, even when crisis intervention has been intensive and appropriate, the mother and daughter are already so deeply estranged at the time of disclosure that the bond between them seems irreparable. In this situation, no useful purpose is served by trying to separate the mother and father and keep the daughter at home. The daughter has already been emotionally expelled from her family; removing her to protective custody is simply the concrete expression of the family reality.
These are the cases which many agencies call their “tragedies.” This report of a child protective worker illustrates a case where removing the child from the home was the only reasonable course of action:

Division of Family and Children’s Services received an anonymous telephone call on Sept. 14 from a man who stated that he
overheard Tracy W., age 8, of [address] tell his daughter of a forced oral-genital assault, allegedly perpetrated against this child by her mother’s boyfriend, one Raymond S.

Two workers visited the W. home on Sept. 17. According to their report, Mrs. W. was heavily under the influence of alcohol at the time of the visit. Mrs. W. stated immediately that she was aware why the two workers wanted to see her, because Mr. S. had “hurt her little girl.” In the course of the interview, Mrs. W. acknowledged and described how Mr. S. had forced Tracy to have relations with him. Workers then interviewed Tracy and she verified what mother had stated. According to Mrs. W., Mr. S. admitted the sexual assault, claiming that he was drunk and not accountable for his actions. Mother then stated to workers that she banished Mr. S. from her home.

I had my first contact with mother and child at their home on Sept. 20 and I subsequently saw this family once a week. Mother was usually intoxicated and drinking beer when I saw her. I met Mr. S. on my second visit. Mr. S. denied having had any sexual relations with Tracy. Mother explained that she had obtained a license and planned to marry Mr. S.

On my third visit, Mrs. W. was again intoxicated and drinking despite my previous request that she not drink during my visit. Mother explained that Mr. S. had taken off to another state and she never wanted to see him again. On this visit mother demanded that Tracy tell me the details of her sexual involvement with Mr. S.
On my fourth visit, Mr. S. and Mrs. S. were present. Mother explained that they had been married the previous Saturday.
On my fifth visit, Mr. S. was not present. During our discussion, mother commented that “Bay was not the first one who had
Tracy.” After exploring this statement with mother and Tracy, it became clear that Tracy had been sexually exploited in the same manner at age six by another of Mrs. S.'s previous boyfriends.
On my sixth visit, Mrs. S. stated that she could accept Tracy’s being placed with another family as long as it did not appear to Tracy that it was her mother’s decision to give her up. Mother also commented, “I wish the fuck I never had her.”

It appears that Mrs. S. has had a number of other children all of whom have lived with other relatives or were in foster care for part of their lives. Tracy herself lived with a paternal aunt from birth to age five.”
Judith Lewis Herman, Father-Daughter Incest: With a New Afterword

Pat Conroy
“Humor has always been the redemptive angel in the Conroys’s sad history. With this family, I shall never grow hungry from lack of material.”
Pat Conroy, A Lowcountry Heart: Reflections on a Writing Life

Judith Lewis Herman
“Most of our informants [incest survivors] remembered their mothers as weak and powerless, finding their only dignity in martyrdom.”
Judith Lewis Herman, Father-Daughter Incest: With a New Afterword

Pat Conroy
“It’s the great surprise of my life that I ended up loving [my father] so much.”
Pat Conroy, A Lowcountry Heart: Reflections on a Writing Life

Pat Conroy
“A woman in Charlotte approached me and said that she’s tired of the dysfunction in my novels. I told her I was sorry, but that is how the world has presented itself to me throughout my life.”
Pat Conroy, A Lowcountry Heart: Reflections on a Writing Life

Judith Lewis Herman
“Implicit [in the psychiatric literature] is a set of normative assumptions regarding the fathers prerogatives and the mothers obligations within the familythe fathers wish, indeed his right, to continue to receive female nurturance, whatever the circumstances, is accepted without question.”
Judith Lewis Herman, Father-Daughter Incest: With a New Afterword

“My only regret is that no one told me at the beginning of my journey what I'm telling you now: there will be an end to your pain. And once you've released all those pent-up emotions, you will experience a lightness and buoyancy you haven't felt since you were a very young child. The past will no longer feel like a lode of radioactive ore contaminating the present, and you will be able to respond appropriately to present-day events. You will feel angry when someone infringes on your territory, but you won't overreact. You will feel sad when something bad happens to you, but you won't sink into despair. You will feel joy when you have a good day, and your happiness won't be clouded with guilt. You, too, will have succeeded in making history, history.”
Patricia Love, The Emotional Incest Syndrome: What to do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life

Oscar Lewis
“Consuelo: Away from them, I realised that they formed a circle, or rather a net in which they were enmeshed together. I was the only one out of it. Being near them only made me feel more alone.”
Oscar Lewis

“In the minds of my parents, they are the victims; I am the abuser.”
Christina Enevoldsen

Thomas Bernhard
“After my parents were dead, I found in a box and in two chests of drawers nothing but hundreds of bright red Alpine caps, I said, nothing but bright red Alpine stockings. Every one of them knitted by my mother. My parents could have gone into the High Alps with these bright red caps and bright red stockings for thousands of years. I burnt every one of those bright red caps and bright red stockings, I said. I put on one of my mother's hundreds of bright red Alpine caps and in this costume burnt all the others, laughing, laughing, continuously laughing, I said.
(Goethe Dies, p.65)”
Thomas Bernhard, Goethe schtirbt: Erzählungen

“The entrance into the family of an outside professional with legal authority is always a crisis-ridden event, but it may be the best insurance that the incest will not continue.”
Janis Tyler Johnson, Mothers of Incest Survivors: Another Side of the Story

“From the age of nine, I was on the streets. This came about because I was being rude with my parents and I was moving things without their permission, like money. So my stepfather didn’t like what I was doing and he didn’t like me, so he eventually put me out on the streets. My mother was always sick, and my father—I never met him. While I was on the streets, I used to sleep in old abandoned vehicles. Galen ‘Ninja’ Nordelus former leader of the Public Terrorist Rebellions through Milton Street”
Drexel Deal, The Fight of My Life is Wrapped Up in My Father

« previous 1 3
All Quotes | My Quotes | Add A Quote


Browse By Tag

More...