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Quotes About Discworld

Quotes tagged as "discworld" (showing 1-30 of 122)
Terry Pratchett
“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”
Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

Terry Pratchett
“It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?”
Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett
“A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.”
Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

Terry Pratchett
“Open your eyes and then open your eyes again.”
Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men (Discworld, #30)

Terry Pratchett
“We're dealing here," said Vimes, "With a twisted mind."
"Oh, no! You think so?"
"Yes."
"But... no... you can't be right. Because Nobby was with us all the time."
"Not Nobby," said Vimes testily. "Whatever he might do to a dragon, I doubt if he'd make it explode. There's stranger people in this world than Corporal Nobbs, my lad."
Carrot's expression slid into a rictus of intrigued horror.
"Gosh," he said.”
Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms: The Play

Terry Pratchett
“Silverfish looked down.
"Oh. Are you a dwarf?"
Cuddy gave him a blank stare.
"Are you a giant?" He said.
"Me? Of course not!"
"Ah. Then I must be a dwarf, yes.”
Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms: The Play

Terry Pratchett
“Commander, I always used to consider that you had a definite anti-authoritarian streak in you.”
“Sir?”
“It seems that you have managed to retain this even though you are authority.”
“Sir?”
“That’s practically zen.”
Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

Terry Pratchett
“Multiple exclamation marks,' he went on, shaking his head, 'are a sure sign of a diseased mind.”
Terry Pratchett, Eric

Terry Pratchett
“The disc, being flat, has no real horizon. Any adventurous sailor who got funny ideas from staring at eggs and oranges for too long and set out for the antipodes soon learned that the reason why distant ships sometimes looked as though they were disappearing over the edge of the world was that they were disappearing over the edge of the world.”
Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic

Terry Pratchett
“Ankh-Morpork! Pearl of cities! This is not a completely accurate description, of course — it was not round and shiny — but even its worst enemies would agree that if you had to liken Ankh-Morpork to anything, then it might as well be a piece of rubbish covered with the diseased secretions of a dying mollusc.”
Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic

Terry Pratchett
“Prisoner: I get it, good cop, bad cop, eh?
Vimes: If you like, but we’re a bit short-staffed today, so if I give you a cigarette, would you mind kicking yourself in the teeth?”
Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

Terry Pratchett
“Cake is not the issue here.”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent

Terry Pratchett
“It was the way he wore the place. You expected him any moment to break into the kind of song that has suspicious rhymes and phrases like "my kind of town" and "I wanna be a part of it" in it; the kind of song where people dance in the street and give the singer apples and join in and a dozen lowly matchgirls suddenly show amazing choreographical ability and everyone acts like cheery lovable citizens instead of the murderous, evil-minded, self-centered people they suspect themselves to be. But the point was that if Carrot had erupted into a song, people WOULD have joined in. Carrot could have jollied up a circle of standing stones to form up behind him and do a rumba.”
Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms: The Play

Terry Pratchett
“[Y]ou weren't born with a talent for witchcraft: it didn't come easily; you worked hard at it because you wanted it. You forced the world to give it to you, no matter the price, and the price is and always will be high... People say you don't find witchcraft; witchcraft finds you. But you've found it, even if at the time you didn't know what it was you were finding, and you grabbed it by its scrawny neck and made it work for you.”
Terry Pratchett, I Shall Wear Midnight

Terry Pratchett
“On the Disc the gods dealt severely with atheists.”
Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

Terry Pratchett
“Tiffany knew what the problem was immediately. She'd seen it before, at
birthday parties. Her brother was suffering from tragic sweet
deprivation. Yes, he was surrounded by sweets. But the moment he took any
sweet at all, said his sugar-addled brain, that meant he was not taking
all the rest. And there were so many sweets he'd never be able to eat
them all. It was too much to cope with. The only solution was to burst
into tears.”
Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men (Discworld, #30)

Terry Pratchett
“He was trying to conjure up a succubus." It should be impossible to leer when all you've got is a beak, but the parrot managed it. "That's a female demon what comes in the night and makes mad passionate wossn-"
"I've heard of them," said Rincewind. "Bloody dangerous things."
The parrot put its head on one side. "It never worked. All he ever got was a neuralger."
"What's that?"
"It's a demon that comes and has a headache at you.”
Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett
“Don't wish, Miss Tick had said. Do things.”
Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett
“The world rides through space on the back of a turtle. This is one of the great ancient world myths, found wherever men and turtles were gathered together; the four elephants were an Indo-European sophistication. The idea has been lying in the lumber rooms of legend for centuries. All I had to do was grab it and run away before the alarms went off.

There are no maps. You can't map a sense of humour. Anyway, what is a fantasy map but a space beyond which There Be Dragons? On the Discworld we know There Be Dragons Everywhere. They might not all have scales and forked tongues, but they Be Here all right, grinning and jostling and trying to sell you souvenirs.”
Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett
“A dollar for a human bought a loaf of bread that was eaten in a few bites. The same dollar for Wee Mad Arthur bought the same-sized loaf, but it was food for a week and could then be further hollowed out and used as a bedroom.”
Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

Terry Pratchett
“Ринсуинд е стахливец. Много е доволен от това. Предпочита хората да си приказват какъв страхливец е Ринсуинд, отколкото да признават, че е бил невероятно храбър, чак до мига, когато нещо го е прехапало на две половинки. През продължителната си кариера е присъствал на сътворението на Вселената, пътувал е из ада, сериозно е досадил на Смърт, падал е от Диска, победил е най- могъщия магьосник на света с помощта на половин тухла, пъхната в чорап и се е справил с мнжество чудовища, някои от които в човешки облик. Във всяка от изброените случки отначало е имал намерението да направи нещо съвсем различно от крайния резултат. Из 'Албумът на Тери Пратчет”
Terry Pratchett, The Rincewind Trilogy

Terry Pratchett
“Life could be horrible in the wrong trouser of time.”
Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

Terry Pratchett
“Just a minute," said Lobsang. "Who are you? Time has stopped, the world is given over to...fairy tales and monsters, and there's a schoolteacher walking around?"

"Best kind of person to have," said Susan. "We don't like silliness. Anyway, I told you. I've inherited certain talents."

"Like living outside of time?"

"That's one of them."

"It's a weird talent for a schoolteacher!"

"Good for marking, though," said Susan calmly.”
Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

Terry Pratchett
“That was a dhlang!" he said. "An evil spirit! The peasants down in the valleys hang up charms against them! But I thought they were just a superstition!"

"No, they're a substition," said Susan. "I mean they're real, but hardly anyone really believes them. Mostly everyone believes in things that aren't real. Something very strange is going on. Those things are all over the place, and they've got bodies. That's not right. We've got to find the person who built the clock - "

"And, er, what are you, Miss Susan?"

"Me? I'm...a schoolteacher."

She followed his gaze to the wrench that she still carried in her hand, and shrugged.

"It can get pretty rough at break time, can it?" said Lobsang.”
Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

Terry Pratchett
“And, er, these stories about you..."

"Oh, all true. Most of them. A bit of exaggeration, but mostly true."

"The one about the Citadel in Muntab and the Pash and the fish bone?"

"Oh, yes."

"But how did you get in where half a dozen armed and trained men couldn't even - ?"

"I am a little man and I carry a broom," said Lu-Tze simply. "Everyone has some mess that needs clearing up. What harm is a man with a broom?"

"What? And that was it?"

"Well, the rest was a matter of cookery, really. The Pash was not a good man, but he was a glutton for his fish pie."

"No martial arts?" said Lobsang.

"Oh, always a last resort. History needs shepherds, not butchers."

"Do you know okidoki?"

"Just a lot of bunny-hops."

"Shittake?"

"If I wanted to thrust my hand into hot sand I would go to the seaside."

"Upsidazi?"

"A waste of good bricks."

"No kando?"

"You made that one up.”
Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

Terry Pratchett
“Sacharissa saw a movement. Boddony had pulled his axe out from under the bench. It was a traditional dwarf axe. One side was a pickaxe, for the extraction of interesting minerals, and the other side was a war axe, because the people who owned the land with the valuable minerals in it can be so unreasonable sometimes.”
Terry Pratchett, The Truth

Terry Pratchett
You have no power over us, said the Auditor. We are notalive.

BUT YOU ARE DEMONSTRATING ARROGANCE, PRIDE AND STUPIDITY. THESE ARE EMOTIONS. I WOULD SAY THEY ARE SIGNS OF LIFE.

"Excuse me?" said the shining figure in white.

But you are all alone here!

"Excuse me?"

YES? said Death. WHAT IS IT?

"This is the Apocalypse, yes?" said the shining figure petulantly.

WE ARE TALKING.

"Yes, right, but is it the Apocalypse? The actual end of the actual whole world?"

No, said the Auditor.

YES, said Death. IT IS.

"Great!" said the figure.

What? said the Auditor.

WHAT? said Death.”
Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

Terry Pratchett
“What a place! What a situation! What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter.”
Terry Pratchett, Going Postal

Terry Pratchett
“There was a steady drizzle when they left for the tower. Moist drove the cart, with the others sitting on the load behind him and bickering over trigonometry. Moist tried not to listen; he got lost when maths started to get silly.”
Terry Pratchett, Going Postal

Terry Pratchett
“Welcome to fear, Moist said to himself. It's hope, turned inside out.”
Terry Pratchett, Going Postal

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