Quotes About Classic Insult

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
― Mark Twain

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
― Oscar Wilde

“Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.”
― Dorothy Parker

“Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
"Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
Exchange between Lady Astor and Winston Churchill—”
― Winston Churchill

“I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.”
― Groucho Marx

“A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.”
― Winston Churchill

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

[On British Labour politician Stafford Cripps.]”
― Winston Churchill, Wealth, War, and Wisdom

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
― Oscar Wilde

“He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.”
― P.G. Wodehouse

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”
― Mae West

“That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.”
― Dorothy Parker, While Rome Burns

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend ... if you have one."
— George Bernard Shaw, playwright (to Winston Churchill)

"Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one."
— Churchill's response”
― George Bernard Shaw

“I've never killed a man, but I've read many an obituary with a great deal of satisfaction.”
― Clarence Darrow

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
― Mark Twain

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it.”
― Moses Hadas

“A member of Parliament to Disraeli: 'Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.'

That depends, Sir,' said Disraeli, 'whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”
― Benjamin Disraeli

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”
― Billy Wilder

“If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.”
― Dorothy Parker, While Rome Burns

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”
― Stephen Bishop

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend ... if you have one."
— George Bernard Shaw, playwright (to Winston Churchill)
"Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one."
— Churchill's response”
― Winston Churchill

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination.”
― Andrew Lang

“She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.”
― Dorothy Parker

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”
― Forrest Tucker

“He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.”
― Samuel Foote

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”
― Paul Keating

“He was distinguished for ignorance; for he had only one idea, and that was wrong.”
― Benjamin Disraeli

“An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, "If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea." Churchill's response, "Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it.”
― Winston Churchill

“Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
”
― Winston Churchill