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Quotes About Carrot

Quotes tagged as "carrot" (showing 1-10 of 10)
Louis Tomlinson
“In my first video diary I explained my love for women who have a taste in carrots. Since then, I have received plenty of carrots. Now I also have a keen interest in women who like Lamborghinis.”
Louis Tomlinson

Terry Pratchett
“Have - have you got an appointment?' he said.
'I don't know,' said Carrot. 'Have we got an appointment?'
'I've got an iron ball with spikes on,' Nobby volunteered.
'That's a morningstar, Nobby.'
'Is it?'
'Yes,' said Carrot. 'An appointment is an engagement to see someone, while a morningstar is a large lump of metal used for viciously crushing skulls. It is important not to confuse the two, isn't it, Mr-?' He raised his eyebrows.
'Boffo, sir. But-'
'So if you could perhaps run along and tell Dr Whiteface we're here with an iron ball with spi- What am I saying? I mean, without an appointment to see him? Please? Thank you.”
Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

Jarod Kintz
“A Letter to Andre Breton, Originally Composed on a Leaf of Lettuce With an Ink-dipped
Carrot

On my bed, my green comforter
draped over my knees like a lumpy turtle,
I think about the Berlin Wall of years that separates us.
In my own life, the years are beginning to stack up
like a Guinness World Record’s pile of pancakes,
yet I’m still searching for some kind of syrup to believe in.
In the shadows of my pink sheet, I see your face, Desnos’ face,
and two clock faces staring at each other. I see a gaping wound
that ebbs rose petals, while a sweaty armpit
holds an orchestra. Beethoven, maybe.
A lover sings a capella, with the frothiness of a cappuccino.
Starbucks, maybe. There’s an hourglass, too, and beneath the sands
lie untapped oil reserves. I see Dali’s mustache,
Magritte’s pipe, and bowling shoes, which leaves the question--
If you could time travel through a trumpet, would you find
today and tomorrow too loud?”
Jarod Kintz, A Letter to Andre Breton, Originally Composed on a Leaf of Lettuce With an Ink-dipped Carrot

Terry Pratchett
“I mean, it's a good job we've got a last desperate million-to-one chance to rely on, or we'd really be in trouble!”
Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

John Wilmot
“This signior is sound, safe, ready, and dumb
As ever was candle, carrot, or thumb;
Then away with these nasty devices, and show
How you rate the just merits of Signior Dildo.”
John Wilmot, The Complete Poems

Vera Nazarian
“Dangling a carrot in front of a donkey—or anyone else for that matter—is not nice, and not fair, unless you eventually plan to give it up to them.”
Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration

Jarod Kintz
“Raw vegetables leave me overjoyed with raw emotion. My love for her can best be summed up with one carrot and a cheese grater.”
Jarod Kintz, Xazaqazax

Terry Pratchett
“Sergeant Colon was lost in admiration. He’d seen people bluff on a bad hand, but he’d never seen anyone bluff with no cards.”
Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

Jarod Kintz
“My clone will be funny naturally, like a clown getting stabbed by a midget with a sharp carrot. People will love him for him, not because he’s trying to be me.
”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

“Congratulations! You've correctly discerned the difference between a sitting U.S. senator and a slightly moldy root vegetable. For your skill, you'll receive this limited edition commemorative digital photo. ”
MoveOn.org

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