quote

Quotes About Asshole

Quotes tagged as "asshole" (showing 1-30 of 36)
Cassandra Clare
“Bitten? You mean you're a-"
"A werewolf," said the girl. "Like everyone else here. Except you, and the asshole. And the asshole's sister.”
Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

Lora Leigh
“Testosterone overload?" Merinus gave an unladylike grunt. "More like asshole overload if you ask me.”
Lora Leigh, Tempting the Beast

Jarod Kintz
“My face doesn’t match my personality. Maybe it would if instead of a mouth I had an asshole in its place.
”
Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

Jarod Kintz
“Before I make you boss, I want to tattoo “Assistant” around your asshole.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

Michelle Hodkin
“Why?' He asked.
'Why what?' What could I say? Noah, despite you being an asshole, or maybe because of it, I'd like to rip off your clothes and have your babies. Don't tell.”
Michelle Hodkin, The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer

Jarod Kintz
“You don’t offend me. At least not until I change my name. Once I change it to Asshole, then I might be offended you keep calling me Jarod.”
Jarod Kintz, $3.33

Jarod Kintz
“My meat smells like cat food. Makes me want to lick my own asshole.”
Jarod Kintz, 99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Jarod Kintz
“I didn’t shave my mustache off. Instead what I did was taped Elton John’s asshole to my top lip and then all of the sudden I had twice the dick in my mouth as before. It was almost more than I could swallow. Almost. 
”
Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky
“The poor girl ws keeping that student's letter as a precious treasure, and had run to fetch it, her only treasure, because she did not want me to go away without knowing that she, too, was honestly and genuinely loved; that she, too, was addressed respectfully. No doubt that letter was destined to lie in her box and lead to nothing. But none the less, I am certain that she would keep it all her life as a precious treasure, as her pride and justification, and now at such a minute she had thought of that letter and brought it with naive pride to raise herself in my eyes that I might see, that I, too, might think well of her.”
Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from Underground

Jarod Kintz
“I have the ostrich of an asshole. I also have the asshole of an ostrich. With these two things, I have everything I need. Well, aside from love.”
Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

Jarod Kintz
“If a woman says she got a bad haircut, and I agree with her, am I being agreeable, or an asshole?”
Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

Jarod Kintz
“Sometimes when I’m watching TV and I see a horrible commercial I think, “Only an asshole would buy that.” Then I think, Wait a minute! The advertising agency did research on their client’s target market and which channel and TV shows the ideal demographic watches, right? This would mean a carefully chosen ad campaign to get the product in front of the likely buyers, who in this case, are assholes. And I’m on the chosen channel, which means that I am one of the assholes of interest. Then I get spooked, because how’d they figure out that am asshole? Scary how well they know me. 
”
Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

M.F. Moonzajer
“You can’t make silly people stay away from you; all you can do is staying away from them.”
M.F. Moonzajer

M.F. Moonzajer
“Let’s be assholes and enjoy the life.”
M.F. Moonzajer

M.F. Moonzajer
“Idealists are either blind or clowns; because they think it is possible to have a beautiful world with asshole creatures like humans.”
M.F. Moonzajer

Jarod Kintz
“My asshole smells like a bookstore. So, are you a big reader?
”
Jarod Kintz, Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

Jarod Kintz
“The roof of my mouth is not a good place to put in a new chimney. Put it behind my asshole. 
”
Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

Jarod Kintz
“I had a dream about you. Before I shaved my beard, I looked like a cat. My facial hair accurately represented my political beliefs, and if you don’t agree, well you can just lick my asshole. 
”
Jarod Kintz, I had a dream about you 2

Jarod Kintz
“My cat just licked my eyeball. Probably because I look like an asshole.
I also look like an asshole.
”
Jarod Kintz, Sleepwalking is restercise

Jarod Kintz
“There’s bird shit on my toilet paper, and my asshole stings from such a long flight.
”
Jarod Kintz, The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit You

Alexandra V.
“You’re right, I do indeed want you. That doesn’t change the fact that you’re an asshole.”
Alexandra V., Rockalicious

M.F. Moonzajer
“We are all stupid assholes; leaving alone and complaining forever.”
M.F. Moonzajer

M.F. Moonzajer
“You are so fool worshiping and dreaming her like an angel; while another asshole is banging her right now.”
M.F. Moonzajer

Lauren Weisberger
“He could be so charming and irreverent and witty, and then-bam!-a switch flipped and he reverted right back to the cocky asshole everyone reported him to be.”
Lauren Weisberger, Chasing Harry Winston

Jarod Kintz
“My asshole is a last-second escape hatch. That’s how I release all my love into the world.”
Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

M.F. Moonzajer
“Time doesn’t change anything; that is why we still worship asshole Arabs.”
M.F. Moonzajer

Roberta Pearce
“. . . the only way to tell off an asshole was face-to-face and to look fantastic doing it. So, here she was, with perfect makeup, hair done in a riot of waves that had taken a ridiculously long time to create, and a brand new screw you and the horse you rode in on dress laid out on her bed.”
Roberta Pearce, The Value of Vulnerability

Paul Russell
“To speak a language that was as intimate and free as certain dreams, saying darkly, thrillingly, My cock inside of you. Your come in my mouth ... He focused on the boy’s slim, tight hips; with the tip of his tongue he tasted an asshole’s bitter, forbidden mystery.”
Paul Russell, The Coming Storm

« previous 1
All Quotes | My Quotes | Add A Quote


Browse By Tag

More...