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Quotes About Alcohol

Quotes tagged as "alcohol" (showing 1-30 of 465)
Charles Bukowski
“That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.”
Charles Bukowski, Women

F. Scott Fitzgerald
“It’s a great advantage not to drink among hard drinking people.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

Chelsea Handler
“There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.”
Chelsea Handler, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

Terry Pratchett
“Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."
Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.”
Terry Pratchett

David Sedaris
“We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.”
David Sedaris, Naked

Frank Sinatra
“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
Frank Sinatra

George Carlin
“I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

G.K. Chesterton
“Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.”
G.K. Chesterton, Heretics

Gerard Way
“I'm not drunk, just a little stoned.”
Gerard Way

Stephen King
“There'a a phrase, "the elephant in the living room", which purports to describe what it's like to live with a drug addict, an alcoholic, an abuser. People outside such relationships will sometimes ask, "How could you let such a business go on for so many years? Didn't you see the elephant in the living room?" And it's so hard for anyone living in a more normal situation to understand the answer that comes closest to the truth; "I'm sorry, but it was there when I moved in. I didn't know it was an elephant; I thought it was part of the furniture." There comes an aha-moment for some folks - the lucky ones - when they suddenly recognize the difference.”
Stephen King

I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if
“I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?”
Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

Bill Hicks
“If you want to understand a society, take a good look at the drugs it uses. And what can this tell you about American culture? Well, look at the drugs we use. Except for pharmaceutical poison, there are essentially only two drugs that Western civilization tolerates: Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.”
Bill Hicks

Sylvia Plath
“I began to think vodka was my drink at last. It didn’t taste like anything, but it went straight down into my stomach like a sword swallowers’ sword and made me feel powerful and godlike.”
Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

Stephanie Kuehnert
“I automatically assume people won't like me, so I don't talk to them unless they approach me first. I can't become a part of a crowd because I can't get past that feeling that I don't belong.”
Stephanie Kuehnert, Ballads of Suburbia

Warren Ellis
“Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!”
Warren Ellis

David Sedaris
“For the first twenty years of my life, I rocked myself to sleep. It was a harmless enough hobby, but eventually, I had to give it up. Throughout the next twenty-two years I lay still and discovered that after a few minutes I could drop off with no problem. Follow seven beers with a couple of scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it’s funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own. Often I never even made it to the bed. I’d squat down to pet the cat and wake up on the floor eight hours later, having lost a perfectly good excuse to change my clothes. I’m now told that this is not called “going to sleep” but rather “passing out,” a phrase that carries a distinct hint of judgment.”
David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

Tom Waits
“I don't have a drinking problem 'Cept when I can't get a drink.”
Tom Waits

“Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.”
Alex Levine

Matt Groening
“To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to... all of life's problems”
Matt Groening

Mae West
“One more drink and I'll be under the host.”
Mae West

Darynda Jones
“I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.”
Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

Edgar Allan Poe
“Fill with mingled cream and amber,
I will drain that glass again.
Such hilarious visions clamber
Through the chamber of my brain —
Quaintest thoughts — queerest fancies
Come to life and fade away;
What care I how time advances?
I am drinking ale today.”
Edgar Allan Poe

Charles Bukowski
“I think I need a drink.'
'Almost everybody does only they don't know it.”
Charles Bukowski, Women

Oscar Wilde
“Alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, may produce all the effects of drunkenness.”
Oscar Wilde

Jarod Kintz
“Snow is not microwave friendly. In fact, snow is not too friendly at all, unless you first buy it a few beers. Then it’s just downright slutty.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

Louis Pasteur
“Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.”
Louis Pasteur

David Sedaris
“Every gathering has its moment. As an adult, I distract myself by trying to identify it, dreading the inevitable downswing that is sure to follow. The guests will repeat themselves one too many times, or you'll run out of dope or liquor and realize that it was all you ever had in common.”
David Sedaris, Naked

Criss Jami
“An over-indulgence of anything, even something as pure as water, can intoxicate.”
Criss Jami, Venus in Arms

Quentin R. Bufogle
“99% of all problems can be solved by money -- and for the other 1% there's alcohol.”
Quentin R. Bufogle

William Shakespeare
“I would not put a thief in my mouth to steal my brains.”
William Shakespeare, Othello

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