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Quotes About Alcohol

Quotes tagged as "alcohol" (showing 1-30 of 368)
Charles Bukowski
“That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.”
Charles Bukowski, Women

“Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
"Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
Exchange between Lady Astor and Lord Birkenhead—
F.E. Smith, Lord Birkenhead

F. Scott Fitzgerald
“It’s a great advantage not to drink among hard drinking people.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

Chelsea Handler
“There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.”
Chelsea Handler, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

David Sedaris
“We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.”
David Sedaris, Naked

Terry Pratchett
“Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."
Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.”
Terry Pratchett

Frank Sinatra
“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
Frank Sinatra

George Carlin
“I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

G.K. Chesterton
“Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.”
G.K. Chesterton, Heretics

Gerard Way
“I'm not drunk, just a little stoned.”
Gerard Way

Stephen King
“There'a a phrase, "the elephant in the living room", which purports to describe what it's like to live with a drug addict, an alcoholic, an abuser. People outside such relationships will sometimes ask, "How could you let such a business go on for so many years? Didn't you see the elephant in the living room?" And it's so hard for anyone living in a more normal situation to understand the answer that comes closest to the truth; "I'm sorry, but it was there when I moved in. I didn't know it was an elephant; I thought it was part of the furniture." There comes an aha-moment for some folks - the lucky ones - when they suddenly recognize the difference.”
Stephen King

Sylvia Plath
“I began to think vodka was my drink at last. It didn’t taste like anything, but it went straight down into my stomach like a sword swallowers’ sword and made me feel powerful and godlike.”
Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

Warren Ellis
“Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!”
Warren Ellis

Stephanie Kuehnert
“I automatically assume people won't like me, so I don't talk to them unless they approach me first. I can't become a part of a crowd because I can't get past that feeling that I don't belong.”
Stephanie Kuehnert, Ballads of Suburbia

David Sedaris
“For the first twenty years of my life, I rocked myself to sleep. It was a harmless enough hobby, but eventually, I had to give it up. Throughout the next twenty-two years I lay still and discovered that after a few minutes I could drop off with no problem. Follow seven beers with a couple of scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it’s funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own. Often I never even made it to the bed. I’d squat down to pet the cat and wake up on the floor eight hours later, having lost a perfectly good excuse to change my clothes. I’m now told that this is not called “going to sleep” but rather “passing out,” a phrase that carries a distinct hint of judgment.”
David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

Tom Waits
“I don't have a drinking problem 'Cept when I can't get a drink.”
Tom Waits

Mae West
“One more drink and I'll be under the host.”
Mae West

“Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.”
Alex Levine

Matt Groening
“To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to... all of life's problems”
Matt Groening

Edgar Allan Poe
“Fill with mingled cream and amber,
I will drain that glass again.
Such hilarious visions clamber
Through the chamber of my brain —
Quaintest thoughts — queerest fancies
Come to life and fade away;
What care I how time advances?
I am drinking ale today.”
Edgar Allan Poe

Oscar Wilde
“Alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, may produce all the effects of drunkenness.”
Oscar Wilde

Charles Bukowski
“I think I need a drink.'
'Almost everybody does only they don't know it.”
Charles Bukowski, Women

Jarod Kintz
“I was nervous. Like an ice cube, I just froze up. Then I melted in some strange guy’s drink.”
Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

David Sedaris
“Every gathering has its moment. As an adult, I distract myself by trying to identify it, dreading the inevitable downswing that is sure to follow. The guests will repeat themselves one too many times, or you'll run out of dope or liquor and realize that it was all you ever had in common.”
David Sedaris, Naked

Louis Pasteur
“Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.”
Louis Pasteur

Mikhail Bulgakov
“Is that vodka?" Margarita asked weakly.
The cat jumped up in his seat with indignation.
"I beg pardon, my queen," he rasped, "Would I ever allow myself to offer vodka to a lady? This is pure alcohol!”
Mikhail Bulgakov, The Master and Margarita

Warren Ellis
“Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel's nipples.”
Warren Ellis

George R.R. Martin
“Jon:'What are you doing up there? Why aren't you at the feast?'
Tyrion: 'Too hot, too noisy, and I'd drunk too much wine', the dwarf told him. 'I learned long ago that it is considered rude to vomit on your brother.”
George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

Jarod Kintz
“I want to meet a woman named Sherry who only drinks brandy, and a woman named Brandy who only drinks sherry. Then I’ll offer each one of them one magical night of sex with me, in the form of two of my clones.”
Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

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