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Quotes About Absurd

Quotes tagged as "absurd" (showing 31-60 of 520)
Jarod Kintz
“What does it mean to be the best? It means you have to be better than the number two guy. But what gratification is there in that? He's a loser—that’s why he's number two.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

Jarod Kintz
“It’s true, I can’t make you love me. But I can refuse to let you out of your cage.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

Jarod Kintz
“We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches. But since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off.”
Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Jarod Kintz
“If you were to ask me the best time of day to fall in love, I'd say, "Now." But you'd also have to remember to factor in the fact that my watch is eleven minutes fast.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

Jarod Kintz
“Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, I’m not just saying it to get in your Ziploc bag.”
Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Jarod Kintz
“You and I have a love so secret that not even you know about it. But first, let me introduce myself.”
Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Jarod Kintz
“He had a new girl, and I told him she looked like Marilyn Monroe. He smiled because he thought I meant she was beautiful, and I smiled because I meant she looked like a corpse.”
Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

Woody Allen
“I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time.
She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic.”
Woody Allen

Jarod Kintz
“I am the broth of love. Make soup to me.”
Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Albert Einstein
“If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it.”
Albert Einstein

Jarod Kintz
“Love is a bicycle with two pancakes for wheels. You may see love as more of an exercise in hard work, but I see it as more of a breakfast on the go.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

Tim Burton
“Stick Boy liked Match Girl,
He liked her a lot.
He liked her cute figure,
he thought she was hot.
But could a flame ever burn
for a match and a stick?
It did quite literally;
he burned up quick.”
Tim Burton, The Melancholy Death Of Oyster Boy & Other Stories

J.R.R. Tolkien
“Some who have read the book, or at any rate have reviewed it, have found it boring, absurd, or contemptible, and I have no cause to complain, since I have similar opinions of their works, or of the kinds of writing that they evidently prefer.”
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Groucho Marx
“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.”
Groucho Marx

Jarod Kintz
“Love one person at a time, that’s the motto I’ll try to get my clones to live by.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

Jarod Kintz
“I’ve often wondered why more science textbooks don’t tell teenagers that the only thing sharks like to eat more than fish, are dead prostitutes.”
Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

Jarod Kintz
“Like Alexander the Great and Caesar, I’m out to conquer the world. But first I have to stop at Walmart and pick up some supplies.”
Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

Jon Stewart
“If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?”
Jon Stewart

Michael Cunningham
“Beauty is a whore, I like money better.”
Michael Cunningham, The Hours

Jarod Kintz
“Every night I cuddle with a blob of unbaked clay I fashioned in the shape of a woman. But that’s what being in love is all about.”
Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

Jarod Kintz
“Don’t try to hog loneliness and keep it all to yourself. Share it with a special someone.”
Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

The last time somebody pointed out that cowboys ride horses, not tricycles, I shot him.
“The last time somebody pointed out that cowboys ride horses, not tricycles, I shot him. Of course, I waited until another gunslinger gunned him down, but nevertheless, I still shot him.”
Jarod Kintz, Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your Life

Robert A. Heinlein
“The most preposterous notion that Homo sapiens has ever dreamed up is that the Lord God of Creation, Shaper and Ruler of all the Universes, wants the saccharine adoration of His creatures, can be swayed by their prayers, and becomes petulant if He does not receive this flattery. Yet this absurd fantasy, without a shred of evidence to bolster it, pays all the expenses of the oldest, largest, and least productive industry in all history.”
Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love

Steven Wright
“When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.”
Steven Wright

Jarod Kintz
“At Starbucks I like ordering a “Tall venti in a grande cup.” That’s basically me asking for a small large in a medium cup.
”
Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

Jarod Kintz
“To love someone as much as you love yourself, that is the ideal. Especially if that someone is your clone.
”
Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Jarod Kintz
“Death cannot stop true love. That’s why it’s pointless for me to try to murder all my adoring female fans.”
Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over.

Jarod Kintz
“Despite marking the spot, Generation X has no treasure. How could they, when I dug it up first?”
Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

Jarod Kintz
“When I meet a European, the first thing I say is, “I’d much rather watch football than football.” But I’m just teasing them, and they know I’d really rather watch football than football.”
Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over.

Jarod Kintz
“You could empty the trash and my love for you still wouldn’t fit inside. But just because it won’t fit, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t empty the trash.”
Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

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