"Kools and Newports were for black people and lower-class whites. Camels were for procrastinators, those who wrote bad poetry, and those who put off writing bad poetry. Merits were for sex addicts, Salems were for alcoholics, and Mores were for people who considered themselves to be outrageous but really weren't."
— David Sedaris (When You Are Engulfed in Flames)

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
— Brooke Shields

"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know beacause I've done it thousands of times."
— Mark Twain

"Smoking I find the most ridiculous of all the varieties of human behavior and practically the only one that is entirely against nature. Can you imagine a cow or any animal taking a mouthful of smoldering straw than breathing in the smoke and blowing it out through its nostrils?"
— Ian Fleming (Goldfinger)

"That's the beauty of argument, if you argue correctly, you're never wrong."
— Christopher Buckley

"People tell me I shouldn't smoke because it is makes you look like a tit. I use exactly the same argument when people tell me they go to the gym."
— Robert Clark

"My daughter told me she wasn't afraid of spider but that she was afraid of my smoking. She said that she was afraid of my dying. So i went downstairs, picked up a pair of pliers and a blowtorch and showed her what real fear was."
— Robert Clark

"- you wouldnt happen to have a pipe and a bit of tobacco about, would-
- i heard that!
- gandalf enjoyed a good pipe!
- why do you think hes called gandalf the gray? it wasnt for the color of his robes"
— Margaret Weis (Elven Star)

"I was very surprised when last I bought a packet of cigarettes and had to request a refund as I read a warning that told me "smoking can cause fatal lung cancer"."
— Robert Clark

"My dad is dead. And as I type this, by the window, on the rainy day, I am alive, yes. I am living. But sometimes it doesn't feel like I am doing it fast enough, or hard enough, or all the way. And it is times like that when I can understand wanting a cigarette in my hand, then my mouth, then my hand again. Holding the cigarette. Tending to the cigarette. Giving the cigarette what it needs. Tapping it in the ashtray. Sucking on it.

Then flicking it in the street, like it meant nothing to me."
— Amy Fusselman

"Who knows whether, if I had given up smoking, I should really have become the strong perfect man I imagined? Perhaps it was this very doubt that bound me to my vice, because life is so much pleasanter if one is able to believe in one's own latent greatness"
— Italo Svevo

"He who doth not smoke hath either known no great griefs, or refuseth himself the softest consolation, next to that which comes from heaven."
— Edward George Bulwer-Lytton

"Char bought a pack of clove cigarettes, claiming they tasted good, to which I ask why doesn't she just go suck on a clove so I don't have to inhale her perfumed second hand smoke?"
— Julie Halpern (Into the Wild Nerd Yonder)

"Strange as it may seem, there is nothing in which a young and beautiful female appears to more advantage than in the art of smoking."
— Herman Melville (Typee)