"Personally, I say, "Out of the frying pan and into the deadly pit filled with sharks who are wielding chainsaws with killer kittens stapled to them." However, that one's having a rough time catching on."
— Brandon Sanderson (Alcatraz Versus the Scrivener's Bones)

"death is life's way of saying you've been fired.

"
— sweeper442

"who was the first person to look at a chicken and say, " see that chicken over there...I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt"?"
— sweeper442

"'Money is the root of all evil.' Then we hear, 'A fool and his money are soon parted.' What are they talking about? If money is so evil, shouldn't it be, 'A wise man and his money are soon parted'? And another thing, how does a fool get money in the first place? I know some fools who have a lot of money, but they won't tell me how they got it, and I won't tell them."
— George Burns (Doctor Burn's Prescription for Happiness)

"*Real love and Sun have something in common; they are so bright that they don't have shadows, they are free of darkness!.. (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*No man is a man without high morals and ethics. (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*Spring blossoms are fairy tales, autumn leaves are tragic dramas (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*The army of Truth is the real Invincible Armada. Truths are always destined to be victorious. (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*If you want to be shot down by the Arrows of Eros, you should get rid of the iron shield called Logic! (Mehmet Murat ildan)

*What makes a man heavy is the gravity of virtue. Without it, man will be so light that he will be drifted in the winds of immorality. (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*Every queen is a woman, but not every woman is a queen. (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*If a man's shadow is brighter than himself, than that man becomes the shadow itself! (Mehmet Murat ildan)
* Priest is a fisherman and Holy Book is a fishhook. We either refuse to be a fish or we burn in the frying pan of irrationality! (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*If this universe is the House of God, then I must say it is quite a dark house despite several hundred billion suns! (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*My most comfortable shoe has always been my very barefoot! (Mehmet Murat ildan)

*When they ask my opinion about Shakespeare, I tell them that if theatre is a powerful magic, then Shakespeare is The Master Magician! (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*We can drink soup with a fork, it will only take long time! As long as we are patient, we can drink it even with a tiny pin! (Mehmet Murat ildan)

*I have not seen any Christian sparrow or Muslim lion or Jewish elephant! Animals are lucky as they have not yet invented the religion! (Mehmet Murat ildan)

*Happiness is the twin sister of optimism and the twin brother of contentment. (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*Every single moment of reality instantly turns into memories; reality cannot be caught; we can only catch memories. (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*Let us free all the animals in the zoos to show them that we are not animals!.. (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*We all have regrets and God's regret is mankind! (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*Politicians are the close relatives of the Devil. (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*Fame is like a suffocating castle sieged by the enemy. (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*For humans as well as for ships, dark stormy nights are better teachers than tranquil sunny days. (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*If you want to appreciate the Sun, be a miner; to value the land, be a sailor and to long for freedom, get married!.. (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*Flexibility is one of the main roads leading to happiness. (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*Ducks are sweet, crows are intelligent; but I prefer dolphins because they are both sweet and intelligent. (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*No eyes can read the future, because it is a book not yet written! (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*We are not heavenly destined for a particular road; every road is our destiny; every path and every passage is our fate. (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*If God exists, it is ok; if He doesn't exist, it is still ok; what matters is our existence, the rest is mere details! (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*In a puddle, ask for a pool; in a pool, ask for a lake; in a lake, ask for an ocean. This is the way for a frog to reach the stars! (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*In the bed of suspicion, no cushion can make a man to sleep. (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*Future is an unknown country which requires tough visas for anyone to enter. Not all of us will get the chance to visit it. (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*Considering the size of the universe, we might conclude that God likes to exaggerate! (Mehmet Murat ildan)
*Every unhappy genius dreams to be in the place of a happy fool. (Mehmet Murat ildan)
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— Mehmet Murat ildan