"Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?"
"Yes," said Harry stiffly.
"Yes, sir."
"There's no need to call me "sir" Professor."
The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

"Bella: Did you know that 'I told you so' has a brother, Jacob? His name is 'Shut the hell up.'"
— Stephenie Meyer (Breaking Dawn)

"'Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?' Harry interrupted again.

'So he can sneak up on people,' said Ron. 'Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking...'"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt. "
— Cassandra Clare (City of Bones)

"Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankfupt
-Clary Fray

I'm sorry. I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain
-Jace Wayland"
— Cassandra Clare

"You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.

It's really funny."
— Brandon Sanderson (Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians)

"I am a story teller. If I wanted to send a message I would have written a sermon."
— Philip Pullman

"A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished. "
— Zsa Zsa Gabor

"Elizabeth Swann: 'There will come a time when you have a chance to do the right thing.'
Jack Sparrow: 'I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.'"
— Pirates of the Carribean

"'We...we could be friends.'

'We COULD be rare specimens of an exotic breed of dancing African elephants, but we're not. At least, I'M not.'"
— Neil Gaiman (Coraline)

"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. "
— Irina Dunn

"The earl shook his head, exhibiting a degree of frosty offense that could only be achieved by an aristocrat whose wishes had just been gainsaid. “I’ve never heard of a man being so eager to confess to the parent of a girl he’s just ruined,” he said sourly."
— Lisa Kleypas (Secrets of a Summer Night)

"If only there was enough space on this tiny card to evoke my unfettered joie de vivre for what you have done. The gaiety, the mirth, the heavenly bubbling of every effusive cell that sings inside me for your kind and pithy offering."
— Joshua Braff (The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green: A Novel)

""I was supposed to get picked up at the 'meeting point', but where was that? It sounded like a figure of speech, like the point of No Return or the Last Straw or the Last Place you Look, where all objects eventually turn up....
The meeting point is near the Information Desk, in the Arrivals Hall. The Last Straw will be found at the Point of No Return. If you reach the Last Place you look you've gone Too Far. "
— Mayrose Wood

"If you wish, I shall go personally to your City and knock together the heads of Perlith and Galooney."
— Robin McKinley (The Hero and the Crown)

""That's great," Katie said. "Actually, it's revolutionary. If you can work and be in love at the same time, you're the first woman I ever knew that could. Maybe you're the missing link, Amanda."

"Maybe you ought to get a job for the 'Ladies Home Journal.' They like simplistic shit like that.""
— Ellen Gilchrist

"Sarcasm will make your tits fall off."
— Christopher Moore (Fool: A Novel)

""Clever is when one is crafty enough to mistake your imagination for intelligence. Smart is when one assumes they are too educated to notice the difference.""
— Kerry E. Wagner

"'What are American dry-goods?' asked the duchess, raising her large hands in wonder and accentuating the verb.

'American novels,' answered Lord Henry."
— Oscar Wilde (The Picture of Dorian Gray and Other Writings)

"'Why can't these American women stay in their own country? They are always telling us that it is the paradise for women.'

'It is. That is the reason why, like Eve, they are so excessively anxious to get out of it.'
"
— Oscar Wilde (The Picture of Dorian Gray and Other Writings)

"'Young people, nowadays, imagine that money is everything.'

'Yes,' murmured Lord Henry, settling his button-hole in his coat; 'and when they grow older they know it.'
"
— Oscar Wilde (The Picture of Dorian Gray and Other Writings)

"Yes. Yes I am. I am a completely demented misogynist.
"
— Bret Easton Ellis

"The doctor seemed especially troubled by the fact of the robbery having been unexpected, and attempted in the night-time; as if it were the established custom of gentlemen in the housebreaking way to transact business at noon, and to make an appointment, by the twopenny post, a day or two previous."
— Charles Dickens (Oliver Twist)

"...Though drowned was just as dead as any other way of dying."
— Mercedes Lackey (Phoenix Transformed)

""You know I love you,"...
"You have a very funny way of showing it""
— Neil Gaimain

""Hi! I'm Ethan, I shop at Ikea. I bought a $300 dining suite and it took me three days to assemble!""
— Douglas Coupland

"“Fine, it’s decided.” Vain resumed his stride. “I’ll do all the killing, and you do
all the stuff that an Avun-Riah does. Whatever the hell that is.”"
— Luke Romyn (The Dark Path)