"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."
— J.R.R. Tolkien (The Fellowship of the Ring)

"All men have parties and are pals who never let each other down. A pal can say terrible things which are forgotten the next day. A pal never forgives, he just forgets, and a woman forgives but never forgets. That's how it is. That's why women aren't allowed to have parties. Being forgiven is very unpleasant."
— Tove Jansson (A Winter Book: Selected Stories by Tove Jansson)

"Hen nights should be banned. You're honour-bound to behave atrociously, then feel terribly ashamed afterwards.

(This Charming Man)"
— Marian Keyes

"Party hard!!!!!"
— Sarah Skittles

"As the nation divided into Federalists and Republicans, each group called the other the worst name possible: "party". Most Americans feared the idea of party; believing that a society should unite to achieve the public good, they denounced parties as groups of ambitious men selfishly competing for power. Worse, parties were danger signals for a republic; if parties dominated a republic's politics, its days were numbered."
— R.B. Bernstein (Thomas Jefferson)

"If you're at a party with more than five people named Chad, get the fuck out right away."
— Eugene Mirman (The Will to Whatevs: A Guide to Modern Life)

"Prom night can be a special night, if you let it be. I know you think it's for losers and something that popular kids do because they are boring people with porcelain hearts who don't know what it means to be lonely. But you're wrong. Prom is a chance for everyone to try oral sex. Go for it. "
— Eugene Mirman (The Will to Whatevs: A Guide to Modern Life)