"Nice dress. Take it off."
— Janet Evanovich

"Honey, a man can't keep his gun in a cookie jar. It just isn't done."
— Janet Evanovich

"Men drive off bridges and drink too much because of women like you."
— Janet Evanovich

"Fine. Let Ranger get someone else. Trust me, you don't want to be out looking for a parking place on Sloane in the middle of the night."

I won't have to look for a parking place. Tank's picking me up.

Your working with a guy name Tank?

He's big.

Jesus, Morelli said. I had to fall in love with a woman who works with a guy named Tank.

You love me?

Of course i love you. I just don't want to marry you."
— Janet Evanovich (High Five)

"We don't usually write up accidents involving rabbits.
- Joe Morelli "
— Janet Evanovich (Hard Eight)

"Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I'm a white girl from Trenton. I don't know these things. I need a rap
cheat sheet."
— Janet Evanovich (To the Nines)