"I considered taking out the rear of his shiny Volvo, but there were too many witnesses."
— Stephenie Meyer (Twilight)

"Take it easy- my truck is a senior citizen."
— Stephenie Meyer (Twilight)

"Do you have multiple personality disorder?" I asked severely."
— Stephenie Meyer (Twilight)

"My foot inched towards the gas pedal...one little bump wouldn't hurt any of them, just that glossy paint job. I revved the engine."
— Stephenie Meyer (Twilight)

" "You Might want to lie down," Magnus advised. "I find that it helps when the crushing sense of horrible realization sets in.""
— Cassandra Clare (City of Ashes)

"I picked up one of the books and flipped through it. Don't get me wrong, I like reading. But some books should come with warning labels: Caution: contains characters and plots guaranteed to induce sleepiness. Do not attempt to operate heavy machinery after ingesting more than one chapter. Has been known to cause blindness, seizures and a terminal loathing of literature. Should only be taken under the supervision of a highly trained English teacher. Preferably one who grades on the curve."
— Laurie Halse Anderson (Twisted)

"Mike, who was taking on the qualities of a golden retriever, walked faithfully by my side to class."
— Stephenie Meyer (Twilight)

"Catching sight of himself in the long mirrors that ran along the walls, he stiffened in shock...His eyes were surrounded by black shadows, his shirt smeared with dried blood and filthy mud...
"Admiring yourself?" The Inquisitor's voice cut through his reverie. "You won't look so pretty when the Clave gets through with you."
"You do seem obsessed with my look...Could it be that you're attracted to me?"
"Don't be revolting...You could be my son.""
— Cassandra Clare (City of Ashes)

"He had a dashing smile. It nearly dashed right off his face."
— Shannon Hale (Austenland)

"I donned my jacket- which had the feeling of a biohazard suit- and stepped out into the rain."
— Stephenie Meyer (Twilight)

"On the morning in question, she wore white shorts and a pink T-shirt that featured a green dragon breathing a fire of orange glitter. It is difficult to explain how awesome I found this T-shirt at the time."
— John Green

"This is the sixty-nine," I told him, presenting the magazine in front of him. I put my fingers -- two of them -- on the action, so that he would not overlook it. "Why is it dubbed sixty-nine?" he asked, because he is a person hot on fire with curiosity. "It was invented in 1969. My friend Gregory knows a friend of the nephew of the inventor." "What did people do before 1969?" "Merely blowjobs and masticating box, but never in chorus."
— Jonathan Safran Foer (Everything Is Illuminated)

"“Life is short. Buy the shoes.”

"
— Samantha Crouton

"Moreover, if great men are the only hope of the Evolutionary Process, they are morally bound to rule over the masses for their own good -- we are all here on earth to help others: what on earth the others are here for, I don't know -- and the masses have no right whatsoever to resist them."
— W.H. Auden

"I guess he believes if a lie is big enough and repeated often enough, it will be believed.
"
— John McCain

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.

When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."
— Terry Pratchett (Reaper Man)

"I was behaving, just like I promised, but fate intervened."
— Katherine Paterson (Preacher's Boy)

" To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting elected President should on no account be allowed to do the job. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem. "
— Douglas Adams

"What this country needs are more unemployed politicians."
— Edward Langley

"I don't necessarily agree with everything I say."
— Marshall McLuhan

" Once upon a time, there was a little creature that was rather small and rather wicked and it lived all alone in the woods.
The little creature lived in a little den, at the bottom of a little ravine, filled with not-at-all little brambles and on the edge of a forest that could only be described as really freakin' huge."
— Ursula Vernon

"She was the only doctor's wife in Branford, Maine, who hung her wash on an outdoor clothesline instead of putting it through a dryer, because she liked to look out the window and see the clothes blowing in the wind. She had been especially delighted, one day, when one sleeve of the top of her husband's pajamas, prodded by the stiff breeze off the bay, reached over and grabbed her nightgown around the waist."
— Lois Lowry (Find a Stranger, Say Goodbye)

"If Noah had been truly wise,
He would've swatted those two flies!"
— Annetta Cochran

"On Decoration Day, while everyone else in town was at the cemetery decorating the graves of our Glorious War Dead, Willie Beaner and me, Robert Burns Hewitt, took Mabel Cramm's bloomers and run them up the flagpole in front of the town hall. That was the beginning of all my troubles."
— Katherine Paterson (Preacher's Boy)

""That man was fast" -Walter Dix, answering interview question about Usain Bolt's world record breaking Olympic 100-meter sprint."
— Walter Dix