"Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college."
— Kurt Vonnegut (A Man Without a Country)

"But if you tell folks you're a college student, folks are so impressed. You can be a student in anything and not have to know anything. Just say toxicology or marine biokinesis, and the person you're talking to will change the subject to himself. If this doesn't work, mention the neural synapses of embryonic pigeons."
— Chuck Palahniuk (Invisible Monsters)

"I only want to write. And there's no college for that except life."
— Dodie Smith (I Capture the Castle)

"I've learned one thing, and that's to quit worrying about stupid things. You have four years to be irresponsible here, relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class time, but you'll remember the time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So stay out late. Go out with your friends on a Tuesday when you have a paper due on Wednesday. Spend money you don't have. Drink 'til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does..."
— Tom Petty

"Now I understand one of the important reasons for going to college and getting an education is to learn that the things you've believed in all your life aren't true, and that nothing is what it appears to be (65)."
— Daniel Keyes (Flowers for Algernon)

"Japan? Cool! I took a year of Japanese in college! I'll just brush up on it and soon I'll be speaking Japanese like a......Japanese-e-ologist."
— Spencer (iCarly)

"My advice to writers just starting out? Don't use semi-colons! They are transvestite hermaphrodites, representing exactly nothing. All they do is suggest you might have gone to college."
— Kurt Vonnegut (Armageddon in Retrospect)

"Of a sudden he felt that fraternity life was the only way to exist at college. How could he have doubted? (126)"
— Ferrol Sams (The Whisper of the River)

"A university is just a group of buildings gathered around a library."
— Shelby Foote

"I don't think it would have all got me quite so down if just once in a while-just once in a while-there was at least some polite little perfunctory implication that knowledge should lead to wisdom, and that if it doesn't, it's just a disgusting waste of time!"
— J.D. Salinger (Franny and Zooey)

"To be a writer you have to write -- and no academic degree is going to do the writing for you. "
— Michelle Richmond

"In a college final exam there was one question.

It was : Why ?

Those who put " Because " got a B.

Those who put "Why not ?" got an A.

Anything else was an F."
— Unknown

"Do stuff. Be clenched, curious. Not waiting for inspiration's shove or society's kiss on the forehead. Pay attention. Attention is vitality. It connects you with others. It makes you eager. Stay eager."
— Susan Sontag (Syberbergs Hitler - Film)

""A whale ship was my Yale College and my Harvard.""
— Herman Melville

"My Miracle, living through a Traumatic brain Injury"
— Rodney Barnes

"If at first you don't succeed, you are not Paul Johnson!"
— A GT Fan

"I didn't want any degrees if all the ill-read literates and radio announcers and pedagogical dummies I knew had them by the peck. "
— J.D. Salinger (Franny and Zooey)

"Usually when you ask somebody in college why they are there, they'll tell you it's to get an education. The truth of it is, they are there to get the degree so that they can get ahead in the rat race. Too many college radicals are two-timing punks. The only reason you should be in college is to destroy it."
— Abbie Hoffman (Steal This Book)

""College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night?" "
— David Wood

"Life is absolutely unbearable. And we're going to die."
— Marjane Satrapi

"The other thing you can do is write a strong personal essay which lets admissions people inside your life, your heart, and your world.

...

Anyway, it can be hard to figure out what to write about, so here are a few suggestions:

...

5. Reasons it's wrong to be racist even though it makes sense to you."
— Eugene Mirman (The Will to Whatevs: A Guide to Modern Life)

"Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching."
— Oscar Wilde