"Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee?"
— Albert Camus

"It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity."
— Dave Barry

"Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self."
— Terry Pratchett (Thud!)

"I don't really like coffee, she said, but I don't really like it when my head hits my desk when I fall asleep either. "
— Brian Andreas

"Who shall I shoot? You choose. Now, listen very carefully: where's your coffee? You've got coffee, haven't you? C'mon, everyone's got coffee! Spill the beans!"
— Terry Pratchett (Monstrous Regiment)

"But there are people who take salt with their coffee. They say it gives a tang, a savour, which is peculiar and fascinating. In the same way there are certain places, surrounded by a halo of romance, to which the inevitable disillusionment you experience on seeing them gives a singular spice. You had expected something wholly beautiful and you get an impression which is infinitely more complicated than any that beauty can give you. It is the weakness in the character of a great man which may make him less admirable but certainly more interesting.

Nothing had prepared me for Honolulu..."
— W. Somerset Maugham

"The philosopher Sir James Mackintosh had said that the powers of a man's mind were proportionate to the quantity of coffee he drank, and Voltaire had knocked back fifty cups of it a day, so Ianto reckoned there had to be something in it. And saving Cardiff from the kinds of things that came through the Rift called for quick, inspired thinking, so Ianto took it upon himself to make sure the coffee was good. Ianto Jones, saving the world with a dark roast."
— Phil Ford

"Come on, don't you ever stop and smell the coffee?"
— Justina Chen Headley (North of Beautiful)

"Black as night, sweet as sin."
— Neil Gaiman (Anansi Boys)

""There are those who love to get dirty and fix things. They drink coffee at dawn, beer after work. And those who stay clean, just appreciate things. At breakfast they have milk and juice at night. There are those who do both, they drink tea.""
— Gary Snyder

"You are but a hard turd in the ass of my journey."
— David Liss

"I like my coffee with cream and my literature with optimism."
— Abigail Reynolds (Pemberley by the Sea)

"Somehow, the Good Lord don't want to see no man start a cold morning with just black coffee."
— Robert Newton Peck (A Day No Pigs Would Die)

"If only the wonderfulness of hot coffee could still be appreciated in the heat of the summer. "
— Jill K. Shellabarger

""It's over," Keelie said.

"Too bad. But I want you to know, I will always love you."

She narrowed her eyes and said, "When you look at me and say that, are you thinking of Dolly Parton or Whitney Houston?"

"Burt Reynolds," he said.

She nearly spit out her coffee when she laughed, then she said, "That almost makes me want to try again.""
— Becky Cochrane (A Coventry Christmas)

""Wait!"
"What?" I lowered my cup hastily, wondering if maybe there was a stray hair, or worse, a newly boiled bug inside my cup.
"You got to smell it first. It's the proper way to cup coffee."
"Cup coffee?"
"Taste it."
"What? Are you the coffee police or something?""
— Justina Chen Headley (North of Beautiful)

"Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze? "
— Jean Kerr

""Life is too short to drink bad coffee.""
— Phil Joel

""Why are we inspired by another person's courage? Maybe because it gives us the sweet and genuine surprise of discovering some trace, at least, of the same courage in ourselves.""
— Laurence Shames, author of Florida Straits, Welcome to Paradise and The Naked Detective

"I nominate this song as the "Song for the group" (from the Benefit CD): Chorus from the song "Inside" by Jethro Tull for it's positive mention of "joe": I'm sittin' in the corner feelin' glad, got no money comin' in but I can't be sad, That was the best cuppa coffee I ever had, And I won't worry about a thing because we got it made, here on the Inside outside's so far away. "
— Jethro Tull (Ian Anderson presumably)