quotes tagged as "classic-insult"
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(showing 1-26 of 32)
"I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
— Mark Twain
— Mark Twain
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
— Groucho Marx
— Groucho Marx
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
— Oscar Wilde
— Oscar Wilde
"Lady Astor to Winston Churchill—
"Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
His reply—
"Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
— Winston S. Churchill
"Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
His reply—
"Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
— Winston S. Churchill
"A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.'"
— Winston S. Churchill
— Winston S. Churchill
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. "
— Winston S. Churchill
— Winston S. Churchill
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
— Oscar Wilde
— Oscar Wilde
"I've never killed a man, but I've read many an obituary with a great deal of satisfaction."
— Clarence Darrow
— Clarence Darrow
"That woman speaks eighteen languages, and she can’t say 'No' in any of them."
— Dorothy Parker
— Dorothy Parker
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
— Mae West
— Mae West
"He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more."
— P.G. Wodehouse
— P.G. Wodehouse
"If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised."
— Dorothy Parker
— Dorothy Parker
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend ... if you have one."
— George Bernard Shaw, playwright (to Winston Churchill)
"Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one."
— Churchill's response"
— George Bernard Shaw
— George Bernard Shaw, playwright (to Winston Churchill)
"Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one."
— Churchill's response"
— George Bernard Shaw
"She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B."
(Commenting on one of Katherine Hepburn's early films)"
— Dorothy Parker
(Commenting on one of Katherine Hepburn's early films)"
— Dorothy Parker
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it."
— Moses Hadas
— Moses Hadas
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
— Andrew Lang
— Andrew Lang
"A member of Parliament to Disraeli: 'Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.'
'That depends, Sir,' said Disraeli, 'whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.'"
— Benjamin Disraeli
'That depends, Sir,' said Disraeli, 'whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.'"
— Benjamin Disraeli
"I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here."
— Stephen Bishop
— Stephen Bishop
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend ... if you have one."
— George Bernard Shaw, playwright (to Winston Churchill)
"Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one."
— Churchill's response"
— Winston S. Churchill
— George Bernard Shaw, playwright (to Winston Churchill)
"Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one."
— Churchill's response"
— Winston S. Churchill
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
— Mark Twain
— Mark Twain
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
— Forrest Tucker
— Forrest Tucker
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
— Paul Keating
— Paul Keating
"He was distinguished for ignorance; for he had only one idea, and that was wrong."
— Benjamin Disraeli
— Benjamin Disraeli
"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
— Samuel Johnson
— Samuel Johnson
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