quotes tagged as "classic-insult"

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(showing 1-26 of 32)
Mark Twain
"I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
Mark Twain
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Groucho Marx
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
Groucho Marx
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Dorothy Parker
"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone."
Dorothy Parker
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Oscar Wilde
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
Oscar Wilde
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Winston S. Churchill
"Lady Astor to Winston Churchill—
"Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."

His reply—
"Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
Winston S. Churchill
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Winston S. Churchill
"A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.'"
Winston S. Churchill
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Winston S. Churchill
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. "
Winston S. Churchill
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Oscar Wilde
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
Oscar Wilde
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Clarence Darrow
"I've never killed a man, but I've read many an obituary with a great deal of satisfaction."
Clarence Darrow
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Dorothy Parker
"That woman speaks eighteen languages, and she can’t say 'No' in any of them."
Dorothy Parker
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Mae West
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
Mae West
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P.G. Wodehouse
"He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more."
P.G. Wodehouse
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Dorothy Parker
"If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised."
Dorothy Parker
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George Bernard Shaw
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend ... if you have one."
— George Bernard Shaw, playwright (to Winston Churchill)

"Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one."
— Churchill's response"
George Bernard Shaw
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Dorothy Parker
"She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B."
(Commenting on one of Katherine Hepburn's early films)"
Dorothy Parker
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Moses Hadas
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it."
Moses Hadas
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Andrew Lang
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
Andrew Lang
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Billy Wilder
"He has Van Gogh’s ear for music."
Billy Wilder
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Benjamin Disraeli
"A member of Parliament to Disraeli: 'Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.'

'That depends, Sir,' said Disraeli, 'whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.'"
Benjamin Disraeli
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"I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here."
Stephen Bishop
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Winston S. Churchill
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend ... if you have one."
— George Bernard Shaw, playwright (to Winston Churchill)
"Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one."
— Churchill's response"
Winston S. Churchill
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Mark Twain
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
Mark Twain
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"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
— Forrest Tucker
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"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
Paul Keating
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Benjamin Disraeli
"He was distinguished for ignorance; for he had only one idea, and that was wrong."
Benjamin Disraeli
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Samuel Johnson
"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
Samuel Johnson
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