search

quotes tagged as "absurd"

Join Goodreads to collect your favorite quotes!

  • Recommend and discuss books with your friends
  • Keep track of what you've read and what you'd like to read
  • Form a book club, answer book trivia, collect your favorite quotes
Sign in »

(showing 1-38 of 189)
Garrison Keillor
"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose."
— Garrison Keillor
Add_quote


Woody Allen
"To you, I'm an atheist.
To God, I'm the loyal opposition."
— Woody Allen
Add_quote


Woody Allen
"It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel."
— Woody Allen
Add_quote


Woody Allen
"I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland."
— Woody Allen
Add_quote


William Goldman
"Just because you're beautiful and perfect, it's made you conceited."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)
Add_quote


Jon Stewart
"Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion."
— Jon Stewart
Add_quote


Jon Stewart
"If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us? "
— Jon Stewart
Add_quote


Franz Kafka
"A First Sign of the Beginning of Understanding is the Wish to Die."
— Franz Kafka
Add_quote


Woody Allen
"I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time.
She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic."
— Woody Allen
Add_quote


George Orwell
"Beautiful thing, the destruction of words. "
— George Orwell
Add_quote


Woody Allen
"More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly."
— Woody Allen
Add_quote


Woody Allen
"A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men.
I have the strength of one small boy... with polio."
— Woody Allen
Add_quote


Tim Burton
"Stick Boy liked Match Girl,
He liked her a lot.
He liked her cute figure,
he thought she was hot.
But could a flame ever burn
for a match and a stick?
It did quite literally;
he burned up quick."
— Tim Burton (The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy" and Other Stories)
Add_quote


Bill Watterson
"HOBBES:
All this modern technology just makes people try to do everything at once."
— Bill Watterson
Add_quote


"I'm betting that I'm just abnormal enough to survive."
— The Tick
Add_quote


Niels Bohr
"Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future."
— Niels Bohr
Add_quote


Eddie Izzard
"What have you been reading, The Gospel according to St. Bastard?!"
— Eddie Izzard
Add_quote


Michael Cunningham
"Beauty is a whore, I like money better."
— Michael Cunningham (The Hours)
Add_quote


Woody Allen
"I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier."
— Woody Allen
Add_quote


Kurt Vonnegut
"The bounties of space, of infinite outwardness, were three: empty heroics, low comedy, and pointless death."
— Kurt Vonnegut (The Sirens of Titan)
Add_quote


T.H. White
"Anything not forbidden is compulsory."
— T.H. White (The Once and Future King)
Add_quote


"A man is an angel that has gone deranged."
— Philip K Dick
Add_quote


Woody Allen
"Honey, you're the one who stopped sleeping with me, OK?
It'll be a year come April 20th.
I remember the date exactly, because it was Hitler's birthday"
— Woody Allen
Add_quote


Tori Amos
"Never was a cornflake girl;
Thought it was a good solution: hanging with the raisin girls."
— Tori Amos (Tori Amos: Under the Pink)
Add_quote


"Lisa's bad dancing makes my feet sad.
"
— Ralph Wiggum
Add_quote


"Your eyes needs diapers."
— Ralph Wiggum
Add_quote


Woody Allen
"I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom...and a moth ate my sports jacket.
He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know."
— Woody Allen
Add_quote


"God is the supreme uncreated light of which Wisdom is born, but there was never a time when God's Wisdom did not exist."
— Merritt Y. Hughes (Ten Perspectives on Milton)
Add_quote


Tim Burton
"They took a baseball bat
and whacked open his head.
Mummy Boy fell to the ground;
he finally was dead.
Inside of his head
were no candy or prizes,
jast a few stray bettles
of various sizes."
— Tim Burton (The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories)
Add_quote


"My mind has always been my Achilles' heel!"
— The Tick
Add_quote


"As my exciting story began I was being punched in the stomach."
— John Swartzwelder
Add_quote


"I bent my Wookie."
— Ralph Wiggum
Add_quote


"Ah, savory cheese puffs, made inedible by time and fate. "
— The Tick
Add_quote


Vivian Mercier
"[Waiting for Godot] has achieved a theoretical impossibility—a play in which nothing happens, that yet keeps audiences glued to their seats. What's more, since the second act is a subtly different reprise of the first, he has written a play in which nothing happens, twice."
— Vivian Mercier
Add_quote


Woody Allen
"Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe.
It required bandaging."
— Woody Allen
Add_quote


"I am the wild blue yonder. The front line in a never-ending battle between good and not-so-good. Together with my stalwart sidekick, Arthur, and the magnanimous help of some other folks I know, we form the yin to villany's malevolent yang. Destiny has chosen us. Wicked men, you face The Tick."
— The Tick
Add_quote


"Like a great blue salmon of Justice, the mighty Tick courses upstream to the very spawning ground of evil. "
— The Tick
Add_quote


"Even my boogers are spicy.
"
— Ralph Wiggum
Add_quote


« previous 1 3 4
all quotes
my quotes




browse by tag

humor (8002)
inspirational (6496)
love (4326)
life (4191)
writing (1586)
books (1229)
poetry (1108)
philosophy (1055)
death (1041)
religion (1020)
funny (969)
truth (962)
wisdom (923)
music (852)
god (799)
science (782)
reading (728)
art (708)
politics (706)
the (690)
romance (637)
friendship (620)
women (559)
inspiration (549)
happiness (530)
war (501)
fiction (485)
movie (420)
education (406)
time (402)

More...

Or enter a tag:




©2009 Goodreads Inc