"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."
— Mark Twain

"The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept."
— George Carlin

"I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you."
— Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

"It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one."
— George Washington

" I lie to myself all the time, but I never believe me."
— S.E. Hinton (The Outsiders)

"Marge, it takes two to lie- one to lie, and one to listen. (Homer Simpson)"
— Matt Groening

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
— Barbara Bush

"The truth is always an insult or a joke, lies are generally tastier. We love them. The nature of lies is to please. Truth has no concern for anyones comfort" - Arturo Binewski."
— Katherine Dunn

"I always tell the truth. Even when I lie."
— Al Pacino

"But mothers lie. It's in the job discription."
— John Green

"History is a set of lies agreed upon."
— Napoleon Bonaparte

"But I'm going to try to tell the truth. Except for the parts I'm leav­ing out, because there's still stuff I'm just not going to tell you. Get used to it."
— Robin McKinley (Dragonhaven)

"So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a
relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naïve, I feel!"
— Eddie Izzard

"The visionary lies to himself, the liar only to others."
— Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

"It's not lying when you do it to officers!"
— Terry Pratchett (Monstrous Regiment)

"When witnesses concoct lies, they often miss the obvious."
— John Grisham (The Testament)

"Over time, any deception destroys intimacy, and without intimacy couples cannot have true and lasting love."
— Bonnie Eaker Weil (Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker)

"...even a tiny bit of deceit is dishonorable when it's used for selfish or cowardly reasons.

- Mr. Penderwick"
— Jeanne Birdsall (The Penderwicks on Gardam Street)

"The girl was grateful to the young man for every bit of flattery; she wanted to linger for a moment in its warmth and so she said, 'You're very good at lying.'

'Do I look like a liar?'

'You look like you enjoy lying to women,' said the girl, and into her words there crept unawares a touch of the old anxiety, because she really did believe that her young man enjoyed lying to women."
— Milan Kundera (Laughable Loves)

"At times to be silent is to lie. You will win because you have enough brute force. But you will not convince. For to convince you need to persuade. And in order to persuade you would need what you lack: Reason and Right"
— Miguel de Unamuno

"The truly scary thing about undiscovered lies is that they have a greater capacity to diminish us than exposed ones. They erode our strength, our self-esteem, our very foundation."
— Cheryl Hughes

"Die meisten Lügen sind wahr und spinnen sich von ganz allein, kaum jemand kannte diese Wahrheit besser als Colin Darcy. Wenn man erst einmal der Melodie der Worte zu lauschen beginnt, dann pfeift man sie bald selbst. Und wenn Lügen wie kunstvolle Lieder sind, dann gehörte Helen Darcy, Colins Mutter, zu jenem seltenen Menschenschlag, der allzeit eine beschwingte Melodie auf den Lippen trägt."
— Christoph Marzi (Fabula)

"'I know, brother, that you are a straightforward man, and that you pride yourself on it. But put one question to yourself: why in fact should one tell the truth? What obliges us to do it? And why do we consider telling the truth a virtue? Imagine that you meet a madman, who claims that he is a fish and that we are all fish. Are you going to argue with him? Are you going to undress in front of him and show him that you don't have fins? Are you going to say to his face what you think? Well, tell me!'

His brother was silent and Edward went on: 'If you told him the whole truth and nothing but the truth, only what you really thought, you would enter into a serious conversation with a madman and you yourself would become mad. And it is the same way with the world that surrounds us. If I obstinately told a man the truth to his face, it would mean I was taking him seriously. And to take something so unimportant seriously means to become less than serious oneself. I, you see, must lie, if I don't want to take madmen seriously and become one of them myself.'"
— Milan Kundera (Laughable Loves)

"The wise thing is for us diligently to train ourselves to lie thoughtfully, judiciously; to lie with a good object, and not an evil one; to lie for others' advantage, and not our own; to lie healingly, charitably, humanely, not cruelly, hurtfully, maliciously; to lie gracefully and graciously, not awkwardly and clumsily; to lie firmly, frankly, squarely, with head erect, not haltingly, tortuously, with pusillanimous mien, as being ashamed of our high calling."
— Mark Twain (On the Decay of the Art of Lying)

"The truly scary thing about undiscovered lies is that they have a greater capacity to diminish us than exposed ones. "
— Cheryl Hughes

"When people cheat in any arena, they diminish themselves-they threaten their own self-esteem and their relationships with others by undermining the trust they have in their ability to succeed and in their ability to be true."
— Cheryl Hughes

"Wer sich selbst belügt und seine eigenen Lügen anhört, kommt schließlich soweit, dass er keine Wahrheit mehr, weder in sich noch außer sich, zu erkennen vermag [...]"
— Fyodor Dostoevsky

"We need falsifications to make the past inhabitable."
— Frans Kellendonk (Het complete werk)

"All of us have to be prevaricators, hypocrites, and liars every day of our lives; otherwise the social structure would fall into pieces the first day. We must act in one another’s presence just as we must wear clothes. It is for the best."
— O. Henry

"Lying is a thriving vocation."
— Susanna Centrilivre

"And this wasn’t lying, not really. It was leaving out."
— Stephen King (Hearts in Atlantis)

"Liars ought to have good memories."
— Algernon Sydney

"For an instant she hesitated. Baldanders said, 'You may trust him. The doctor has his own way of looking at the world, but he lies less than people believe.'"
— Gene Wolfe (Shadow & Claw)

"Es gibt immer einen Punkt dabei, wo man nicht mehr weiß, ob man lügt oder ob das, was man erfunden hat, wahrer ist als man selber."
— Robert Musil (Die Verwirrungen des Zöglings Törleß.)

"The truth will set you free. Either that or it’ll get you a punch in the nose. Surviving in whatever life you’re in means lying, and lying corrodes the soul, so take a break from the lies for just one minute."
— Nick Hornby (A Long Way Down)

"'I know, brother, that you are a straightforward man, and that you pride yourself on it. But put one question to yourself: why in fact should one tell the truth? What obliges us to do it? And why do we consider telling the truth a virtue? Imagine that you meet a madman, who claims that he is a fish and that we are all fish. Are you going to argue with him? Are you going to undress in front of him and show him that you don't have fins? Are you going to say to his face what you think? Well, tell me!'

His brother was silent and Edward went on: 'If you told him the whole truth and nothing but the truth, only what you really thought, you would enter into a serious conversation with a madman and you yourself would become mad. And it is the same way with the world that surrounds us. If I obstinately told a man the truth to his face, it would mean I was taking him seriously. And to take something so unimportant seriously means to become less than serious oneself. I, you see, must lie, if I don't want to take madmen seriously and become one of them myself.'"
— Milan Kundera (Laughable Loves)

"Integrity is a bugger, it really is. Lying can get you into difficulties, but to really wind up in the crappers try telling nothing but the truth."
— David Mitchell (Ghostwritten)

"When a man lies, he murders some part of the world. These are the pale deaths which men miscall their lives. All this I cannot bear to witness any longer. Cannot the Kingdom of Salvation take me home?"
— Cliff Burton

"In thy foul throat thou liest."
— William Shakespeare (The Tragedy of King Richard III)

"I always say the truth is best even when we find it unpleasant. Any rat in a sewer can lie. It's how rats are. It's what makes them rats. But a human doesn't run and hide in dark places, because he's something more. Lying is the most personal act of cowardice there is."
— Nancy Farmer (The House of the Scorpion)

"Women writers make for rewarding (and efficient) lovers. They are clever liars to fathers and husbands; yet they never hold their tongues too long, nor keep ardent typing fingers still."
— Roman Payne (Rooftop Soliloquy)