"Throughout our history, humanity has been plagued with questions, and also plagued with regular plagues. I don't know much about biology, so I can't speak to actual plagues. However, I can answer all kinds of questions: moral, ethical, job-related, child rearing, party etiquette, romantic, technological, stuff about boobs, and my three faves: How do I have sex with someone and not talk to them again?, Can you hit a kid for a very, very good reason?, and of course How do you get a self-righteous asshole to shut the fuck up, even if they're right?"
— Eugene Mirman (The Will to Whatevs: A Guide to Modern Life)