Snorkle's quotes

(showing 1-50 of 116)

"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."
— Abraham Lincoln

tags: wisdom
9,598 people liked it

"My ears are too beeg for my head. My head ees too beeg for my body. I am not a Siamese cat ... I AM A CHIHUAHUA!"
-- Skippyjon Jones (In his very best Spanish accent)"
— Judy Schachner

tags: chihuahua, childrens-book, humor, siamese-cat, spanish
36 people liked it

"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened."
— Winston S. Churchill

tags: truth
842 people liked it

"Make it a rule never to give a child a book you would not read yourself."
— George Bernard Shaw

tags: books, children
1,053 people liked it

"Girls don't want a jerk, but they don't want a pansy. They want something in the middle...a jerpansy."
— Justine Lookadoo

tags: dating, relationships
11 people liked it

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife."
— Jane Austen (Pride and Prejudice)

tags: husband, marriage, wife
868 people liked it

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
— Mark Twain

tags: humor, procrastination
5,784 people liked it

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
— Groucho Marx

tags: books, humor, reading, television
2,949 people liked it

"Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did?

Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty.

Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin.

Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information."
— Bill Watterson

tags: humor, school
214 people liked it

"Studies have shown that an ant can carry one hundred times its own weight, but there is no known limit to the lifting power of the average tiny eighty-year-old Spanish peasant grandmother."
— Terry Pratchett (Reaper Man)

tags: humor
106 people liked it

"I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal."
— Jane Austen

tags: friends, humor, people
2,278 people liked it

"It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!"
— Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

tags: humor, philosophy
884 people liked it

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
— Mark Twain

tags: education
3,210 people liked it

"Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator."
— Lemony Snicket (Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid)

tags: funny
801 people liked it

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."
— Eleanor Roosevelt

tags: confidence, inspirational, wisdom
10,766 people liked it

"So many books, so little time."
— Frank Zappa

tags: books, humor
9,647 people liked it

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells."
— Dr. Seuss

tags: fantasy
4,157 people liked it

"...my concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God's side..."
— Abraham Lincoln

198 people liked it

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."
— C.S. Lewis (Mere Christianity)

tags: god, house, religion
742 people liked it

"There are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it."
— Bertrand Russell

tags: books, humor
842 people liked it

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
— Thomas A. Edison

tags: edison, failure, inspirational
3,872 people liked it

"I am not young enough to know everything."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: age
971 people liked it

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."
— Robert Frost

tags: life
7,432 people liked it

"Right now I'd like all my troubles to stand in front of me in a straight line, and one by one I'd give each a black eye. "
— Shannon Hale (The Goose Girl)

187 people liked it

"I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train."
— Oscar Wilde (The Importance of Being Earnest)

tags: books, humor
529 people liked it

"I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens."
— Woody Allen

tags: death, fear, humor, life
2,845 people liked it

"When you get tired of worrying and mourning your horse and trying not to be afraid, tell me and I'll do it for you a while so you can shut your eyes and sleep peaceful."
— Shannon Hale (The Goose Girl)

tags: friendship
47 people liked it

"When I was a child, adults would tell me not to make things up, warning me of what would happen if I did. As far as I can tell so far, it seems to involve lots of foreign travel and not having to get up too early in the morning."
— Neil Gaiman (Smoke and Mirrors: Short Fictions and Illusions)

792 people liked it

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
— Franklin D. Roosevelt (Franklin Delano Roosevelt's First Inaugural Address)

tags: fear
395 people liked it

""Crocodiles are easy, they try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.""
— Steve Irwin

12 people liked it

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: intelligence, self-deprecation
7,895 people liked it

"He had a dashing smile. It nearly dashed right off his face."
— Shannon Hale (Austenland)

tags: humorous
58 people liked it

"An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind."
— Mahatma Gandhi (GANDHI: An Autobiography or The Story of My Experiments with Truth)

tags: conflict, fighting, peace, revenge, trial, violence
1,883 people liked it

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."
— Mark Twain

tags: lies, lying, memory, truth
9,729 people liked it

"A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool."
— William Shakespeare (As You Like It)

tags: wisdom
6,603 people liked it

"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
— Albert Einstein

tags: humor, insanity, life
9,909 people liked it

"If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day."
— E.B. White

tags: activism, humor, life, pleasure
1,891 people liked it

"Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car."
— Garrison Keillor

tags: humor, religion
4,123 people liked it

"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."
— Oscar Wilde (An Ideal Husband)

tags: love
265 people liked it

"Insufferable man!"
— Jane Austen

35 people liked it

"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."
— Albert Einstein

tags: humor
1,719 people liked it

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: honesty, inspirational
5,957 people liked it

"A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word "darkness" on the walls of his cell."
— C.S. Lewis

tags: god, religion
513 people liked it

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..."
— Dr. Seuss

tags: inspirational
3,085 people liked it

"100 years ago, buying something you could make was considered wasteful; now making something you could buy is considered wasteful. I am not convinced this is a step in the right direction."
— Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

10 people liked it

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
— Dr. Seuss

tags: be-yourself, confidence, individuality, those-who-matter
18,885 people liked it

"Be the change that you wish to see in the world."
— Mahatma Gandhi

tags: action, change, inspirational, philosophy, wish
11,910 people liked it

"You have to write the book that wants to be written. And if the book will be too difficult for grown-ups, then you write it for children."
— Madeleine L'Engle

tags: books, children, difficult, grown-ups, write, writers, writing
3,126 people liked it

"Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them."
— Lemony Snicket (Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid)

tags: books, reading
2,163 people liked it

"WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE
RAPUNZEL

For horse thieving, kidnapping, jail breaking, and using her hair in a manner other than nature intended!

REWARD"
— Shannon Hale (Rapunzel's Revenge)

tags: fairy, hair, rapunzel, tale, wanted
19 people liked it

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