"If you can't annoy somebody, there is little point in writing."
— Kingsley Amis (Lucky Jim)

"No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader."
— Robert Frost

"Give them pleasure. The same pleasure they have when they wake up from a nightmare."
— Alfred Hitchcock

"All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day."
— Alan Moore (Batman: The Killing Joke)

"Life isn’t divided into genres. It’s a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel. You know, with a bit of pornography if you're lucky."
— Alan Moore

"She doesn't quite chop his head off.
She makes a Pez dispenser out of him."
— Frank Miller (Sin City, Vol. 3: The Big Fat Kill)

"She decides to make a list of the things that make her happy. She writes 'plum-blossom' at the top of a piece of paper. Then she stares at the paper, unable to think of anything else. Eventually it begins to get dark."
— Neil Gaiman (The Sandman: Endless Nights)

"Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them they've all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe."
— Neil Gaiman (The Sandman Vol. 5: A Game of You)

"There's never been a true war that wasn't fought between two sets of people who were certain they were in the right. The really dangerous people believe they are doing whatever they are doing solely and only because it is without question the right thing to do. And that is what makes them dangerous."
— Neil Gaiman (American Gods)

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
— Douglas Adams