Ace > Ace's Quotes

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  • #1
    William Shakespeare
    “The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.”
    William Shakespeare, As You Like It

  • #2
    William Shakespeare
    “All the world's a stage,
    And all the men and women merely players;
    They have their exits and their entrances;
    And one man in his time plays many parts,
    His acts being seven ages.”
    William Shakespeare, As You Like It

  • #3
    William Shakespeare
    “To be, or not to be: that is the question:
    Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
    The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
    Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
    And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
    No more; and by a sleep to say we end
    The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
    That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
    Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
    To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
    For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
    When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
    Must give us pause: there's the respect
    That makes calamity of so long life;
    For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
    The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
    The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
    The insolence of office and the spurns
    That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
    When he himself might his quietus make
    With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
    To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
    But that the dread of something after death,
    The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
    No traveller returns, puzzles the will
    And makes us rather bear those ills we have
    Than fly to others that we know not of?
    Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
    And thus the native hue of resolution
    Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
    And enterprises of great pith and moment
    With this regard their currents turn awry,
    And lose the name of action.--Soft you now!
    The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
    Be all my sins remember'd!”
    William Shakespeare, Hamlet

  • #4
    William Shakespeare
    “To die, to sleep -
    To sleep, perchance to dream - ay, there's the rub,
    For in this sleep of death what dreams may come...”
    William Shakespeare, Hamlet

  • #5
    William Shakespeare
    “The quality of mercy is not strain'd,
    It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
    Upon the place beneath: it is twice blest;
    It blesseth him that gives and him that takes:
    'Tis mightiest in the mightiest: it becomes
    The throned monarch better than his crown;
    His sceptre shows the force of temporal power,
    The attribute to awe and majesty,
    Wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings;
    But mercy is above this sceptred sway;
    It is enthroned in the hearts of kings,
    It is an attribute to God himself;
    And earthly power doth then show likest God's
    When mercy seasons justice.”
    William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice

  • #6
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.”
    P.G. Wodehouse, Uneasy Money

  • #7
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when". ”
    P.G. Wodehouse

  • #8
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “Oh, Jeeves,' I said; 'about that check suit.'
    Yes, sir?'
    Is it really a frost?'
    A trifle too bizarre, sir, in my opinion.'
    But lots of fellows have asked me who my tailor is.'
    Doubtless in order to avoid him, sir.'
    He's supposed to be one of the best men in London.'
    I am saying nothing against his moral character, sir.”
    P.G. Wodehouse

  • #9
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “-'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?'
    There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter”
    P.G. Wodehouse

  • #10
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “She had more curves than a scenic railway”
    P.G. Wodehouse

  • #11
    P.G. Wodehouse
    “the supply of the milk of human kindness was short by several gallons”
    P.G. Wodehouse

  • #12
    Douglas Adams
    “The story so far:
    In the beginning the Universe was created.
    This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
    Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

  • #13
    Douglas Adams
    “There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

    There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”
    Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

  • #14
    Douglas Adams
    “The Guide says there is an art to flying", said Ford, "or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
    Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

  • #15
    Douglas Adams
    “You live and learn. At any rate, you live.”
    Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

  • #16
    Douglas Adams
    “The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.”
    Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

  • #17
    Douglas Adams
    “You know," said Arthur, "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young."
    "Why, what did she tell you?"
    "I don't know, I didn't listen.”
    Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

  • #18
    Douglas Adams
    “Arthur: If I asked you where the hell we were, would I regret it?
    Ford: We're safe.
    Arthur: Oh good.
    Ford: We're in a small galley cabin in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet.
    Arthur: Ah, this is obviously some strange use of the word safe that I wasn't previously aware of.”
    Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

  • #19
    Douglas Adams
    “All through my life I've had this strange unaccountable feeling that something was going on in the world, something big, even sinister, and no one would tell me what it was."
    "No," said the old man, "that's just perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the Universe has that.”
    Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

  • #20
    Douglas Adams
    “The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why, and Where phases. For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question 'How can we eat?' the second by the question 'Why do we eat?' and the third by the question 'Where shall we have lunch?”
    Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

  • #21
    Douglas Adams
    “One of the major difficulties Trillian experienced in her relationship with Zaphod was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn't be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending to be outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he actually didn’t understand what was going on, and really being genuinely stupid. He was renowned for being amazingly clever and quite clearly was so—but not all the time, which obviously worried him, hence, the act. He preferred people to be puzzled rather than contemptuous.”
    Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

  • #22
    Douglas Adams
    “Grown men, he told himself, in flat contradiction of centuries of accumulated evidence about the way grown men behave, do not behave like this.”
    Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

  • #23
    Douglas Adams
    “Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.”
    Douglas Adams
    tags: humor



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