Jeanette's quotes

(showing 1-16 of 16)

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: honesty, inspirational
5,957 people liked it

"There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate."
— Charles Dickens

tags: chocolate, friendship
2,103 people liked it

"When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye."
— Cathy Guisewite

tags: eyes, funny, lemons
535 people liked it

"Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy."
— Albert Einstein

tags: funny
638 people liked it

"So, please, oh please, we beg, we pray, go throw your TV set away, and in its place you can install, a lovely bookcase on the wall."
— Roald Dahl

tags: humor
496 people liked it

"The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon."
— Kurt Vonnegut

tags: humor, politics
405 people liked it

"Finally, from so little sleeping and so much reading, his brain dried up and he went completely out of his mind."
— Cervantes (Don Quixote)

tags: books, humor, reading
319 people liked it

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
— Mark Twain

tags: clothing
350 people liked it

"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"
— Abraham Lincoln

tags: humor
210 people liked it

"I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair, you still hit those brakes."
— Jack Handey

tags: absurd
202 people liked it

"'Sometimes,' said Pooh, 'the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.'"
— A.A. Milne

238 people liked it

"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. "
— Matt Groening

tags: humor, love, simpsons
168 people liked it

"Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!"
— George Bernard Shaw

tags: sex
142 people liked it

"If you only read the books that everyone else is reading, you can only think what everyone else is thinking."
— Haruki Murakami (Norwegian Wood)

tags: books, thought
231 people liked it

"I do wish you wouldn't argue with me when I'm knitting."
— Gerald Durrell (My Family and Other Animals)

8 people liked it

"That cat was a spy. You had to take a pot shot at it. It was a very clever German midget dressed up in a cheap fur coat.
(For Esme--with Love and Squalor)"
— J.D. Salinger (Nine Stories)

tags: humor
3 people liked it

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eyes
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lemons
politics
reading
simpsons
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Absurd
Funny
Humor
books
chocolate
clothing
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