Ashish Kharloya > Ashish's Quotes

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  • #1
    Robert A. Heinlein
    “Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
    Robert A. Heinlein


  • #2
    Mark Twain
    “I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”
    Mark Twain


  • #3
    Mark Twain
    “A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.”
    Mark Twain


  • #4
    Oscar Wilde
    “I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
    Oscar Wilde, The Happy Prince and Other Stories


  • #5
    Oscar Wilde
    “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
    Oscar Wilde


  • #6
    Oscar Wilde
    “I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.”
    Oscar Wilde


  • #7
    “Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    Exchange between Lady Astor and Lord Birkenhead—
    F.E. Smith, Lord Birkenhead


  • #8
    Winston Churchill
    “For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use to be anything else.”
    Winston Churchill


  • #9
    Winston Churchill
    “A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.”
    Winston Churchill


  • #10
    Winston Churchill
    “It is not enough that we do our best; sometimes we must do what is required.”
    Winston Churchill


  • #11
    Winston Churchill
    “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

    [On British Labour politician Stafford Cripps.]
    Winston Churchill, Wealth, War, and Wisdom


  • #12
    Joseph Heller
    “There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.

    "That's some catch, that Catch-22," he observed.

    "It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka agreed.”
    Joseph Heller, Catch-22


  • #13
    Joseph Heller
    “Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.”
    Joseph Heller


  • #14
    Joseph Heller
    “They're trying to kill me," Yossarian told him calmly.
    No one's trying to kill you," Clevinger cried.
    Then why are they shooting at me?" Yossarian asked.
    They're shooting at everyone," Clevinger answered. "They're trying to kill everyone."
    And what difference does that make?”
    Joseph Heller, Catch 22


  • #15
    Joseph Heller
    “What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England, Americans are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can't all be worth dying for.”
    Joseph Heller, Catch-22


  • #16
    Joseph Heller
    “He knew everything there was to know about literature, except how to enjoy it”
    Joseph Heller, Catch-22


  • #17
    Joseph Heller
    “You have a morbid aversion to dying. You probably resent the fact that you're at war and might get your head blown off any second."

    "I more than resent it, sir. I'm absolutely incensed."

    "You have deep-seated survival anxieties. And you don't like bigots, bullies, snobs, or hypocrites. Subconsciously there are many people you hate."

    "Consciously, sir, consciously," Yossarian corrected in an effort to help. "I hate them consciously."

    "You're antagonistic to the idea of being robbed, exploited, degraded, humiliated, or deceived. Misery depresses you. Ignorance depresses you. Persecution depresses you. Violence depresses you. Corruption depresses you. You know, it wouldn't surprise me if you're a manic-depressive!"

    "Yes, sir. Perhaps I am."

    "Don't try to deny it."

    "I'm not denying it, sir," said Yossarian, pleased with the miraculous rapport that finally existed between them. "I agree with all you've said.”
    Joseph Heller, Catch 22


  • #18
    Joseph Heller
    “Clevinger had a mind, and Lieutenant Scheisskoph had noticed that people with minds tended to get pretty smart at times.”
    Joseph Heller, Catch-22
    tags: humor


  • #19
    Joseph Heller
    “Actually there were many officers' clubs that Yossarian had not helped build, but he was proudest of the one on Pianosa. It was a sturdy and complex monument to his powers of determination. Yossarian never went there to help until it was finished; then he went there often, so pleased was he with the large , fine, rambling shingled building. It was a truly splendid building, and Yossarian throbbed with a mighty sense of accomplishment each time he gazed at it and reflected that none of the work that had gone into it was his.”
    Joseph Heller, Catch-22


  • #20
    Joseph Heller
    “Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you”
    Joseph Heller, Catch-22


  • #21
    Joseph Heller
    “It was miraculous. It was almost no trick at all, he saw, to turn vice into virtue and slander into truth, impotence into abstinence, arrogance into humility, plunder into philanthropy, thievery into honor, blasphemy into wisdom, brutality into patriotism, and sadism into justice. Anybody could do it; it required no brains at all. It merely required no character.”
    Joseph Heller, Catch 22


  • #22
    Joseph Heller
    “Why are they going to disappear him?'
    I don't know.'
    It doesn't make sense. It isn't even good grammar.”
    Joseph Heller, Catch-22


  • #23
    Joseph Heller
    “Whatever his elders told him to do, he did. They told him to look before he leaped, and he always looked before he leaped. They told him never to put off until the next day what he could do the day before, and he never did. He was told to honor his father and his mother, and he honored his father and his mother. He was told that he should not kill, and he did not kill, until he got into the Army. Then he was told to kill, and he killed. He turned the other cheek on every occasion and always did unto others exactly as he would have had others do unto him. When he gave to charity, his left hand never knew what his right hand was doing. He never once took the name of the Lord his God in vain, committed adultery or coveted his neighbor's ass. In fact, he loved his neighbor and never even bore false witness against him. Major Major's elders disliked him because he was such a flagrant nonconformist.”
    Joseph Heller, Catch-22


  • #24
    Joseph Heller
    “Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.”
    Joseph Heller, Catch-22


  • #25
    Joseph Heller
    “Sure, that's what I mean,' Doc Daneeka said. 'A little grease is what makes this world go round. One hand washes the other. Know what I mean? You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.'

    Yossarian knew what he meant.

    That's not what I meant,' Doc Daneeka said, as Yossarian began scratching his back.”
    Joseph Heller, Catch 22


  • #26
    Stephen King
    “Show me a man or a woman alone and I'll show you a saint. Give me two and they'll fall in love. Give me three and they'll invent the charming thing we call 'society'. Give me four and they'll build a pyramid. Give me five and they'll make one an outcast. Give me six and they'll reinvent prejudice. Give me seven and in seven years they'll reinvent warfare. Man may have been made in the image of God, but human society was made in the image of His opposite number, and is always trying to get back home.”
    Stephen King, The Stand


  • #27
    Frank Sinatra
    “Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
    Frank Sinatra


  • #28
    Jane Austen
    “A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”
    Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice


  • #29
    Mae West
    “There are no good girls gone wrong - just bad girls found out.”
    Mae West


  • #30
    Ann Richards
    “After all, Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels.”
    Ann Richards




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