Samuel Morris > Samuel's Quotes

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  • #1
    Bill Watterson
    “I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.”
    Bill Watterson, The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes

  • #2
    Bill Watterson
    “Dad: Honey, have you seen my glasses? I can"t find them.
    Mom: I haven't seen them.
    Calvin: (with glasses, to Dad) Calvin, go do something you hate! Being miserable builds character!”
    Bill Watterson, Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons

  • #3
    Albert Einstein
    “If you can't explain it to a six year old, you don't understand it yourself.”
    Albert Einstein

  • #4
    Albert Einstein
    “I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.”
    Albert Einstein

  • #5
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    Albert Einstein

  • #6
    Bill Watterson
    “Calvin: I used to hate writing assignments, but now I enjoy them. I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog! Want to see my book report?
    Hobbes: (Reading Calvin's paper) "The Dynamics of Interbeing and Monological Imperatives in Dick and Jane: A Study in Psychic Transrelational Gender modes."
    Calvin: Academia, here I come!”
    Bill Watterson, Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat

  • #7
    Albert Einstein
    “Never memorize something that you can look up.”
    Albert Einstein

  • #7
    Bill Watterson
    “Reality continues to ruin my life.”
    Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

  • #9
    Bill Watterson
    “Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?”
    Bill Watterson

  • #10
    Bill Watterson
    “I'd hate to have a kid like me.”
    Bill Watterson, The Authoritative Calvin And Hobbes

  • #11
    Dr. Seuss
    “I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.”
    Dr. Seuss

  • #12
    Brian Jacques
    “Absoballylutely top hole, wot. A and B the C of D I'd say. . . Above and Beyond the Call of Duty.”
    Brian Jacques, Taggerung

  • #13
    Albert Einstein
    “Black holes are where God divided by zero.”
    Albert Einstein

  • #14
    Eoin Colfer
    “I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.”
    Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

  • #15
    Bill Watterson
    “I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. - Calvin”
    Bill Watterson, Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat

  • #16
    Eoin Colfer
    “Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test questions harder”
    Eoin Colfer, The Time Paradox

  • #17
    Eoin Colfer
    “Artemis: "Right, brothers. Onward. Imagine yourself seated at a cafe in Montmartre."

    Myles: "In Paris."

    Artemis: "Yes, Paris. And try as you will, you cannot attract the waiter's attention. What do you do?"

    Beckett: "Umm...tell Butler to jump-jump-jump on his head?"

    Myles: "I agree with simple-toon."

    Artemis: "No! You simply raise one finger and say clearly 'ici, garcon.'"

    Beckett: "Itchy what?”
    Eoin Colfer

  • #18
    Bill Watterson
    “Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves.”
    Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

  • #19
    Bill Watterson
    “The way Calvin's brain is wired you can almost hear the fuses blowing.”
    Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

  • #20
    Bill Watterson
    “Virtual reality has nothing on Calvin.”
    Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

  • #21
    Bill Watterson
    “I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word 'booger' in a newspaper comic strip.”
    Bill Watterson, The Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book

  • #22
    Bill Watterson
    “There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
    Bill Watterson

  • #23
    Bill Watterson
    “If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.”
    Bill Watterson, The Authoritative Calvin And Hobbes

  • #24
    Bill Watterson
    “Barney's Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan
    when his dad said "Eat your peas."
    Barney shouted no and ran

    Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar
    Barney's Mom never found out where he'd gone,
    Cause Barney didn't tell her.

    There his dad spent his life eating mice and gruel
    With every bite for fifty years
    he was sorry he'd been cruel”
    Bill Watterson, The Authoritative Calvin And Hobbes

  • #25
    C.S. Lewis
    “What do they teach them at these schools?”
    C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

  • #26
    Mark Twain
    “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”
    Mark Twain

  • #27
    Mark Twain
    “What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.”
    Mark Twain

  • #28
    Mark Twain
    “If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.”
    Mark Twain

  • #29
    Mark Twain
    “I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”
    Mark Twain

  • #30
    C.S. Lewis
    “Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.”
    C.S. Lewis



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