Rolf's favorite quotes

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
— Douglas Adams (The Restaurant at the End of the Universe)

tags: humor, scifi

3,259 people liked it

"The patron gets comfortable in bed and opens up the book -- it opens tentatively -- and the patron bends the open book backward until there is a satisfying crack and the book is a little more supple, a little easier to read. The book spine has just been broken, and a broken spine means a more submissive book."
— Don Borchert

tags: library, patrons, spines

3 people liked it

"The library knows that it is a temporary fix. We have a stamp for the inside front cover: BROKEN SPINE NOTED. It is like a bracelet worn by a diabetic. When you return the book with this message stamped inside, we know you're not the one responsible for this horrible thing. It was some other bastard before you. The book has a preexisting condition."
— Don Borchert

tags: books, damaged, library, patrons

5 people liked it

"I do not understand people who will lustily throw $40,000 at the shiny red automobile of their choice, but well up with tears and become outraged when they are asked to pay $5 for a damaged videotape. Either they are fucked up and their priorities are fucked up or I am fucked up and my priorities are fucked up. Because I am me, I think it is them."
— Don Borchert (Free For All: Oddballs, Geeks, and Gangstas in the Public Library)

tags: fines, libraries, priorities

10 people liked it

"Reality is like a fruitcake; pretty enough to look at but with all sorts of nasty things lurking just beneath the surface."
— A. Lee Martinez

tags: fruitcake, gils_all_fright_diner, reality

9 people liked it

"Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand."
— Kurt Vonnegut

tags: humour, telekinetics

976 people liked it

"The possession of knowledge does not kill the sense of wonder and mystery. There is always more mystery."
— Anaïs Nin

85 people liked it

"Conform and be dull."
— James Frank Dobie

tags: bland, conformity, dull

8 people liked it

"I was born on a storm-swept rock and hate the soft growth of sun-baked lands where there is no frost in men's bones. "
— Liam O'Flaherty

1 person liked it

"Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people."
— Carl Gustav Jung

tags: darkness, self-knowledge, social

34 people liked it

"'Classic' - a book which people praise and don't read."
— Mark Twain

tags: books, classic, reading

1,732 people liked it

"Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence."
— Robert Frost

tags: education

367 people liked it

"It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit."
— Harry S. Truman

tags: accomplishment, inspirational, modesty

54 people liked it

"I can't think of anything that excites a greater sense of childlike wonder than to be in a country where you are ignorant of almost everything."
— Bill Bryson

45 people liked it

"If you can imagine a man having a vasectomy without anesthetic to the sound of frantic sitar-playing, you will have some idea of what popular Turkish music is like."
— Bill Bryson

8 people liked it

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."
— Mark Twain

tags: individuality, majority, minority, pause, reflect, wisdom

6,132 people liked it

" A pun is the lowest form of humor -- when you don't think of it first.
"
— Oscar Levant

tags: humor

5 people liked it

Rolf's quotes

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