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  • #1
    “I wish in the past I had tried more things 'cause now I know that being in trouble is a fake idea.”
    Chris Onstad

  • #2
    “It's kind of like... It's kind of like playin' a basketball game. I am there and the other player is there, and it's just the two of us and I put the other player's body in my van. And I am the winner.”
    Chris Onstad

  • #3
    William S. Burroughs
    “A paranoid is someone who knows a little of what's going on. A psychotic is a guy who's just found out what's going on.”
    William S. Burroughs

  • #4
    “The saddest thing is a retarded man who is crying and promising a broken egg that it will still be a chicken some day.
    And that they'll play together in a field when it gets better.”
    Chris Onstad

  • #5
    “The saddest thing is when the toilet from an abandoned space station falls back to earth, lands upside-down on a child who was playing alone in the backyard, and smooshes them into the shape of half a hard-boiled egg.
    ...And when they lift the toilet off of the child, two lips at the top of the bloody mound say, on their dying breath, "I love you, mommy.”
    Chris Onstad

  • #6
    “The saddest thing is an old bag lady, freezing to death in the snow on Christmas Eve, and the last thing she sees is a family in a nice warm diner getting beheaded by the Taliban.”
    Chris Onstad

  • #7
    “The saddest thing is a little girl who is told by her own mother and father that she will never be pretty.

    And then they open the front door, and on the porch is a little white suitcase, with all of her things in it.”
    Chris Onstad

  • #8
    Anthony Bourdain
    “Vegetarians, and their Hezbollah-like splinter-faction, the vegans, are a persistent irritant to any chef worth a damn.

    To me, life without veal stock, pork fat, sausage, organ meat, demi-glace, or even stinky cheese is a life not worth living.

    Vegetarians are the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit, an affront to all I stand for, the pure enjoyment of food. The body, these waterheads imagine, is a temple that should not be polluted by animal protein. It's healthier, they insist, though every vegetarian waiter I've worked with is brought down by any rumor of a cold.

    Oh, I'll accomodate them, I'll rummage around for something to feed them, for a 'vegetarian plate', if called on to do so. Fourteen dollars for a few slices of grilled eggplant and zucchini suits my food cost fine.”
    Anthony Bourdain

  • #9
    Anthony Bourdain
    “So who the hell, exactly, are these guys, the boys and girls in the trenches? You might get the impression from the specifics of my less than stellar career that all line cooks are wacked-out moral degenerates, dope fiends, refugees, a thuggish assortment of drunks, sneak thieves, sluts and psychopaths. You wouldn't be too far off base. The business, as respected three-star chef Scott Bryan explains it, attracts 'fringe elements', people for whom something in their lives has gone terribly wrong. Maybe they didn't make it through high school, maybe they're running away from something-be it an ex-wife, a rotten family history, trouble with the law, a squalid Third World backwater with no opportunity for advancement. Or maybe, like me, they just like it here. ”
    Anthony Bourdain, Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly

  • #10
    John Ajvide Lindqvist
    “Are you OLD?"
    "No. I'm only twelve. But I've been that for a long time.”
    John Ajvide Lindqvist, Let the Right One In

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