Jeremy > Jeremy's Quotes

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  • #1
    Terry Pratchett
    “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
    Terry Pratchett, Diggers


  • #2
    Terry Pratchett
    “Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”
    Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky (Discworld, #32)


  • #3
    Terry Pratchett
    “It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.”
    Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent


  • #4
    Terry Pratchett
    “Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.”
    Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time


  • #5
    Terry Pratchett
    “Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.”
    Terry Pratchett, Small Gods


  • #6
    Terry Pratchett
    “Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.”
    Terry Pratchett


  • #7
    Terry Pratchett
    “And what would humans be without love?"
    RARE, said Death.”
    Terry Pratchett, Sourcery


  • #8
    Terry Pratchett
    “His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools -- the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans -- and summed up all three of them in his famous phrase, 'You can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink.”
    Terry Pratchett, Small Gods


  • #9
    Terry Pratchett
    “Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.”
    Terry Pratchett, Jingo


  • #10
    Terry Pratchett
    “The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it.”
    Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment


  • #11
    Terry Pratchett
    “There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty.
    The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass! Who's been pinching my beer?
    And at the other end of the bar the world is full of the other type of person, who has a broken glass, or a glass that has been carelessly knocked over (usually by one of the people calling for a larger glass) or who had no glass at all, because he was at the back of the crowd and had failed to catch the barman's eye. ”
    Terry Pratchett, The Truth
    tags: life


  • #12
    Terry Pratchett
    “All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable."

    REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.

    "Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—"

    YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

    "So we can believe the big ones?"

    YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

    "They're not the same at all!"

    YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.

    "Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"

    MY POINT EXACTLY.”
    Terry Pratchett, Hogfather


  • #13
    Terry Pratchett
    “Night poured over the desert. It came suddenly, in purple. In the clear air, the stars drilled down out of the sky, reminding any thoughtful watcher that it is in the deserts and high places that religions are generated. When men see nothing but bottomless infinity over their heads they have always had a driving and desperate urge to find someone to put in the way.”
    Terry Pratchett, Jingo


  • #14
    Terry Pratchett
    “Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."
    Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.”
    Terry Pratchett


  • #15
    Terry Pratchett
    “Witches are naturally nosy,” said Miss Tick, standing up. “Well, I must go. I hope we shall meet again. I will give you some free advice, though.”
    “Will it cost me anything?”
    “What? I just said it was free!” said Miss Tick.
    “Yes, but my father said that free advice often turns out to be expensive,” said Tiffany.
    Miss Tick sniffed. “You could say this advice is priceless,” she said, “Are you listening?”
    “Yes,” said Tiffany.
    “Good. Now...if you trust in yourself...”
    “Yes?”
    “...and believe in your dreams...”
    “Yes?”
    “...and follow your star...” Miss Tick went on.
    “Yes?”
    “...you’ll still be beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren’t so lazy. Goodbye.”
    Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men (Discworld, #30)


  • #16
    Terry Pratchett
    “The intelligence of that creature known as a crowd is the square root of the number of people in it.”
    Terry Pratchett, Jingo


  • #17
    Terry Pratchett
    “The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money.

    Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.

    But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.

    This was the Captain Samuel Vimes 'Boots' theory of socioeconomic unfairness.”
    Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms: The Play


  • #18
    Terry Pratchett
    “He'd noticed that sex bore some resemblance to cookery: it fascinated people, they sometimes bought books full of complicated recipes and interesting pictures, and sometimes when they were really hungry they created vast banquets in their imagination - but at the end of the day they'd settle quite happily for egg and chips. If it was well done and maybe had a slice of tomato.”
    Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant


  • #19
    Terry Pratchett
    “...inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.”
    Terry Pratchett


  • #20
    Terry Pratchett
    “Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?”
    Terry Pratchett, Going Postal


  • #21
    Terry Pratchett
    “What's a philosopher?' said Brutha.
    Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting,' said a voice in his head.”
    Terry Pratchett, Small Gods


  • #22
    Terry Pratchett
    “Ginger: You know what the greatest tragedy is in the whole world?... It's all the people who never find out what it is they really want to do or what it is they're really good at. It's all the sons who become blacksmiths because their fathers were blacksmiths. It's all the people who could be really fantastic flute players who grow old and die without ever seeing a musical instrument, so they become bad plowmen instead. It's all the people with talents who never even find out. Maybe they are never even born in a time when it's even possible to find out. It's all the people who never get to know what it is that they can really be. It's all the wasted chances.”
    Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures


  • #23
    Bernard M. Baruch
    “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”
    Bernard M. Baruch


  • #24
    Dr. Seuss
    “Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”
    Dr. Seuss


  • #25
    William W. Purkey
    “You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
    Love like you'll never be hurt,
    Sing like there's nobody listening,
    And live like it's heaven on earth.”
    William W. Purkey


  • #26
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    Albert Einstein


  • #27
    Langston Hughes
    “Life is for the living.
    Death is for the dead.
    Let life be like music.
    And death a note unsaid.”
    Langston Hughes, The Collected Poems


  • #28
    Benjamin Franklin
    “Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.”
    Benjamin Franklin


  • #29
    Benjamin Franklin
    “They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.”
    Benjamin Franklin, Memoirs of the life & writings of Benjamin Franklin


  • #30
    Benjamin Franklin
    “Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.”
    Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack




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