Alyssa's quotes

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"There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers."
— Chelsea Handler (My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands)

tags: alcohol, drinking, drinks, humor
107 people liked it

""At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and then some Matthew McConaughey type either whips around the corner just in the nick of time to save her or is clumsily pulled down along with her. That event predictably leads to the magical moment of their first kiss. Please. I fall ALL the time. You know who comes and gets me? The bouncer."
"
— Chelsea Handler (My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands)

49 people liked it

""I rolled over and picked up Us Weekly magazine off the floor. The cover had a picture of Angelina, Brad, and their little Eskimo son, Maddox. I saw staring at the photo, wondering why this little boy looks so pissed off in every picture.

At first I thought he was just pissed about his Mohawk, but then I realized he’s probably furious. Maddox must have thought he hit the jackpot when some A-list celebrity rescued him from third-world Cambodia, only to discover that she was going to shuffle him back and for the to EVERY other third-world country in the universe. He’s probably like, “When the fuck are we gonna get to Malibu, bitch?”

Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea"
— Chelsea Handler

tags: chelsea-handler
23 people liked it

"Most men would never tell a girl her Pikachu smells like a crab cake. It's just not done. But they would have no qualms about telling their guy friends. Similarly, if you're a guy and you pull your pants down, and the girl you're with immediately stats text messaging her friends, you have a small penis.

Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea"
— Chelsea Handler

tags: chelsea-handler
18 people liked it

"Even as a junkie I stayed true [to vegetarianism] - 'I shall have heroin, but I shan't have a hamburger.' What a sexy little paradox."
— Russell Brand (My Booky Wook)

tags: drugs, vegetarianism
20 people liked it

"I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people."
— Chelsea Handler

15 people liked it

"For Attractive lips, speak words of kindness, For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people, For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry, For Beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day, For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others."
— Audrey Hepburn

tags: beauty, charity, inspirational, kindness
992 people liked it

"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles."
— Audrey Hepburn

tags: inspirational
720 people liked it

"Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!"
— Audrey Hepburn

tags: inspirational
523 people liked it

"The most important thing is to enjoy your life—to be happy—it's all that matters."
— Audrey Hepburn

tags: happiness, life
362 people liked it

"If I get married, I want to be very married."
— Audrey Hepburn

tags: marriage
61 people liked it

"She held herself very straight, like Audrey Hepburn, whom all women idolize and men never think about."
— Jeffrey Eugenides (The Virgin Suicides)

27 people liked it

"As a matter of fact, I rather feel
like expressing myself now."
— Audrey Hepburn

24 people liked it

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
— Marilyn Monroe

tags: best, life, love, mistakes, out-of-control, truth, worst
10,280 people liked it

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when their right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust noone but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
— Marilyn Monroe

tags: monroe
1,827 people liked it

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."
— Marilyn Monroe (Marilyn: Her Life in Her Own Words)

tags: be, inspirational, yourself
1,506 people liked it

"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left."
— Marilyn Monroe

846 people liked it

"If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything."
— Marilyn Monroe

tags: girls, love
796 people liked it

"It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone."
— Marilyn Monroe

492 people liked it

"I am good, but not an angel. I do sin,
but I am not the devil. I am just
a small girl in a big world trying to
find someone to love."
— Marilyn Monroe

tags: love, world
483 people liked it

"It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on."
— Marilyn Monroe

tags: dirty, funny, logo, sex
295 people liked it

"Who said nights were for sleep?"
— Marilyn Monroe

333 people liked it

"Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?"
— Marilyn Monroe

tags: humor, philosophy
392 people liked it

"Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul. I know, because I turned down the first offer often enough and held out for the fifty cents."
— Marilyn Monroe

tags: hollywood, kiss, soul
183 people liked it

"Well behaved women rarely make history."
— Marilyn Monroe

190 people liked it

"It's all make believe, isn't it?"
— Marilyn Monroe

163 people liked it

"She was a girl who knew how to be happy even when she was sad. And that’s important—you know "
— Marilyn Monroe

203 people liked it

""...she thought I was underestimating her feelings, but in truth she was underestimating mine..." - Edward, Twilight"
— Meyer, Stephanie

130 people liked it

"It’s too easy to be myself with you."
— Stephenie Meyer

tags: 13, chapter, cullen, edward, p-262, twilight
73 people liked it

"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world."
— Anne Frank

tags: activism, life, optimism, philosophy, world
1,380 people liked it

"Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy."
— Anne Frank

tags: anne, beauty, frank, happy
754 people liked it

"Because paper has more patience than people. "
— Anne Frank

tags: affirming, inspirational, uplifting
112 people liked it

"No one has ever become poor by giving."
— Anne Frank (The Diary of a Young Girl)

61 people liked it

"We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same."
— Anne Frank

39 people liked it

"In the long run, the sharpest weapon of all is a kind and gentle spirit."
— Anne Frank (The Diary of Anne Frank)

tags: inspirational
25 people liked it

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
— Martin Luther King Jr.

tags: darkness, drive-out, hate, inspirational, light, love, peace
6,707 people liked it

"Faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the whole staircase."
— Martin Luther King Jr.

tags: faith, inspirational
1,372 people liked it

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
— Martin Luther King Jr.

661 people liked it

"Let no man pull you low enough to hate him."
— Martin Luther King Jr.

tags: hatred, wisdom
612 people liked it

"If you can't fly then run, if you can't run the walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward."
— Martin Luther King Jr.

tags: inspirational
508 people liked it

"Those who are not looking for happiness are the most likely to find it, because those who are searching forget that the surest way to be happy is to seek happiness for others."
— Martin Luther King Jr.

tags: happiness
105 people liked it

"Only in the darkness can you see the stars."
— Martin Luther King Jr.

tags: hope, inspirational
67 people liked it

"Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude."
— Martin Luther King Jr.

tags: forgiveness
32 people liked it

""Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.""
— Martin Luther King Jr.

27 people liked it

"One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain."
— Bob Marley

tags: music
2,059 people liked it

"Who are you to judge the life I live?
I know I'm not perfect
-and I don't live to be-
but before you start pointing fingers...
make sure you hands are clean!"
— Bob Marley

tags: judge, life, live, perfection
553 people liked it

"None but ourselves can free our minds."
— Bob Marley

tags: bob, inspirational, marley, music, reggae
332 people liked it

""One love, one heart, one destiny"
"
— Bob Marley

tags: bob, compassion, destiny, heart, humanity, inspirational, love, marley
149 people liked it

"love the life you live.
live the life you love."
— Bob Marley

tags: awesome
92 people liked it

"Don't Gain The World & Lose Your Soul, Wisdom Is Better Than Silver Or Gold."
— Bob Marley

56 people liked it

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