Cassie's quotes

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"Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like."
— Lemony Snicket

tags: fate, humor
1,080 people liked it

"Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another."
— Lemony Snicket

tags: humor, reading
841 people liked it

"Wicked people never have time for reading. It's one of the reasons for their wickedness."
— Lemony Snicket

tags: humor, reading, wicked
800 people liked it

"Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator."
— Lemony Snicket (Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid)

tags: funny
796 people liked it

"If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats."
— Lemony Snicket (The Wide Window)

tags: allergies, cats, humor
495 people liked it

"It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things."
— Lemony Snicket (Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid)

tags: death
509 people liked it

"I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies."
— Lemony Snicket (The Penultimate Peril)

tags: humor
433 people liked it

"It is always cruel to laugh at people, of course, although sometimes if they are wearing an ugly hat it is hard to control yourself."
— Lemony Snicket

tags: hats, humor
405 people liked it

"Taking one’s chances is like taking a bath, because sometimes you end up feeling comfortable and warm, and sometimes there is something terrible lurking around that you cannot see until it is too late and you can do nothing else but scream and cling to a plastic duck."
— Lemony Snicket

379 people liked it

"It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting."
— Lemony Snicket (The Grim Grotto)

368 people liked it

"No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don't read is often as important as what you do read."
— Lemony Snicket

tags: reading
337 people liked it

"Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear."
— Lemony Snicket (The Carnivorous Carnival)

tags: humor, miracles
346 people liked it

"A passport, as I'm sure you know, is a document that one shows to government officials whenever one reaches a border between two countries, so that the official can learn who you are, where you were born, and how you look when photographed unflatteringly."
— Lemony Snicket

tags: humor, passports
206 people liked it

"The sad truth is the truth is sad."
— Lemony Snicket (The Hostile Hospital)

197 people liked it

"Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess."
— Lemony Snicket (Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid)

tags: babies, change, humor, love, parents
185 people liked it

"I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong."
— Lemony Snicket (The Bad Beginning)

179 people liked it

"The key to good eavesdropping is not getting caught."
— Lemony Snicket (The Blank Book)

tags: eavesdropping, gossip
140 people liked it

"There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don't."
— Lemony Snicket

tags: fear
143 people liked it

"I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms."
— Lemony Snicket (The Beatrice Letters)

tags: doomed-love
143 people liked it

"One of the world's most popular entertainments is a deck of cards, which contains thirteen each of four suits, highlighted by kings, queens and jacks, who are possibly the queen's younger, more attractive boyfriends."
— Lemony Snicket

tags: boyfriends, cards, entertainment, queens
127 people liked it

"It is very unnerving to be proven wrong, particularly when you are really right and the person who is really wrong is proving you wrong and proving himself, wrongly, right."
— Lemony Snicket (The Blank Book)

tags: wrong
131 people liked it

"Like a church bell, a coffin, and a vat of melted chocolate, a supply closet is rarely a comfortable place to hide."
— Lemony Snicket (The Blank Book)

tags: hiding
110 people liked it

"It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing."
— Lemony Snicket (Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid)

tags: truth
82 people liked it

"Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course."
— Lemony Snicket (The Blank Book)

tags: tradition
73 people liked it

"If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "WEll this isn't to bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed" but most of us would say something more along the lines of "Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm,!""
— Lemony Snicket (Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid)

79 people liked it

"Even though there are no ways of knowing for sure, there are ways of knowing for pretty sure."
— Lemony Snicket

tags: knowing
68 people liked it

"Having an aura of menace is like having a pet weasel, because you rarely meet someone who has one, and when you do, it makes you want to hide under the coffee table."
— Lemony Snicket

59 people liked it

"Those unable to catalog the past are doomed to repeat it."
— Lemony Snicket (The End)

tags: catalog, humor
59 people liked it

"Beef. Yes. Roast beef. It's the Swedish term for beef that is roasted."
— Lemony Snicket

tags: beef, swedish
54 people liked it

"Right, good temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant."
— Lemony Snicket (The Reptile Room)

52 people liked it

"Instead of the word 'love' there was an enormous heart, a symbol sometimes used by people who have trouble figuring out the difference between words and shapes."
— Lemony Snicket (The Carnivorous Carnival)

tags: language
60 people liked it

"Miracles can happen, even to those who are small, flammable, and dressed all in black."
— Lemony Snicket

47 people liked it

"Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when you acquire it, but there may be situations when it will not come in handy at all."
— Lemony Snicket (The Grim Grotto)

42 people liked it

"Most schools have a loud system of loud bells, which startle the students and teachers at regular intervals and remind them that timeis passing even more slowly than it seems."
— Lemony Snicket (Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid)

45 people liked it

"Whenever you are examining someone else's belongings, you are bound to learn many interesting things about the person of which you were not previously aware."
— Lemony Snicket (The Blank Book)

tags: awareness
36 people liked it

"Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of "systematically
assisting Sisyphus's stealthy, cyst-susceptible sister," which is easier done than said
"
— Lemony Snicket (The Hostile Hospital)

36 people liked it

"It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try to readjust the way you thought of things. The Baudelaire orphans were crying not only for their Uncle Monty, but for their own parents, and this dark and curious feeling of falling that accompanies every great loss."
— Lemony Snicket (The Reptile Room)

34 people liked it

"Just because something is typed-whether it is typed on a business card or typed in a newspaper or book-this does not mean that it is true."
— Lemony Snicket (The Wide Window)

29 people liked it

"Today was a very cold and bitter day, as cold and bitter as a cup of hot chocolate, if the cup of hot chocolate had vinegar added to it and were placed in a refrigerator for several hours."
— Lemony Snicket

34 people liked it

"This toast feels raw. Is it safe to eat raw toast?"
— Lemony Snicket

27 people liked it

"Can't we sleep ten minutes more? I was having a lovely dream about sneezing without covering my mouth, and giving everybody germs."
— Lemony Snicket

23 people liked it

"For some stories, it's easy. The moral of 'The Three Bears,' for instance, is "Never break into someone else's house.' The moral of 'Snow White' is 'Never eat apples.' The moral of World War I is 'Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand.'"
— Lemony Snicket (The Wide Window)

tags: humor
17 people liked it

""Blinded following the Blindfolded""
— Lemony Snicket (The Penultimate Peril)

tags: blind
9 people liked it

"Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation."
— Lemony Snicket (The Bad Beginning)

tags: humor
14 people liked it

"Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life. "
— Lemony Snicket (The Penultimate Peril)

tags: humor
9 people liked it

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
— Dr. Seuss

tags: be-yourself, confidence, individuality, those-who-matter
18,689 people liked it

"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
— Mark Twain

tags: dance, heaven, hurt, inspirational, life, love, sing
16,433 people liked it

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
— Dr. Seuss

tags: cry, crying, experience, happiness, joy, life, optimism, sadness, smile, smiling
15,117 people liked it

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."
— Eleanor Roosevelt

tags: confidence, inspirational, wisdom
10,672 people liked it

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
— Marilyn Monroe

tags: best, life, love, mistakes, out-of-control, truth, worst
11,162 people liked it

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