"Oh well... I'd just been thinking, if you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

"Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

"Percy wouldn't notice a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing one of
Dobby's hats."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

"He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"Ginny!" said Mr. Weasley, flabbergasted. "Haven't I taught you anything? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps it's brain?"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

"'Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?' Harry interrupted again.

'So he can sneak up on people,' said Ron. 'Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking...'"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"You haven't got a letter on yours," George observed. "I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid-we know we're called Gred and Forge."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

"Both Rowling and Meyer, they’re speaking directly to young people. … The real difference is that [Harry Potter author] Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and [Twilight author] Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good."
— Stephen King

"Basically, I have two speeds.... Hostile or smart-aleck. Your choice."
— James Patterson (Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports)

""Vhat ozzer abilities do you haf?" ter Borcht snapped, which his assistant waited, pen in hand.

Gazzy thought. "I have X-ray vision," he said. He peered at ter Borcht's chest, then blinked and looked alarmed.

Ter Borcht was startled for a second, but then he frowned. "Don't write dat down," he told his assistant in irritation. The assistant froze in midsentence.

~

"You. Do you haf any qualities dat distinguish you in any way?"

Nudge chewed on a fingernail. "You mean, like, besides the WINGS?" She shook her shoulders gently, and her beautiful fawn-colored wings unfolded a bit.

His face flushed, and I felt like cheering. "Yes," he said stiffly. "Besides de vings."

"Hmm. Besides de vings." Nudge tapped one finger against her chin. "Um..." Her face brightened. "I once ate nine Snickers bars in one sitting. Without barfing. That was a record!"

"Hardly a special talent," ter Borcht said witheringly.

Nudge was offended. "Yeah? Let's see YOU do it." ...

... "I vill now eat nine Snickers bars," Gazzy said in a perfect, creepy imitation of ter Borcht's voice, "visout bahfing."

~

Iggy rubbed his forehead with one hand. "Well, I have a highly developed sense of irony."

Ter Borcht tsked. "You are a liability to your group. I assume you alvays hold on to someone's shirt, yes? Following dem closely?"

"Only when I'm trying to steal their dessert"...

~

Fang pretended to think, gazing up at the ceiling. "Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica."

~

"I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahrs!" Gazzy barked."
— James Patterson

"'You...are...a...fridge...with wings,' Fang ground out, punching an Eraser hard with every word. 'We're...freaking...ballet...dancers.'"
— James Patterson (School's Out - Forever)

"“Did you know that wasn’t me, the other Max?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“When?”
“Right away.”
“How?” I persisted. “We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?”
He turned to me and grinned, making my world brighter. “She offered to cook breakfast.'"
— James Patterson (School's Out - Forever)

""I feel like, like pudding," Iggy groaned. "Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain.""
— James Patterson (The Angel Experiment)

"“We’ll be back!” he snarled.
It was really Ari’s voice.
“Boy, you just can’t kill people like you used to,” said Fang
"
— James Patterson (School's Out - Forever)

"They [Erasers] were bad fliers," Angel chimed in, "And in their minds, they weren't all kill the mutants, like they usually are. They were like, remember to flap!"
— James Patterson (School's Out - Forever)

""Don't ever leave me again." -Max
"I won't. I won't not ever." -Fang"
— James Patterson

"Deep in the meadow, hidden far away
A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray
Forget your woes and let your troubles lay
And when it's morning again, they'll wash away
Here it's safe, here it's warm
Here the daisies guard you from every harm
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true
Here is the place where I love you."
— Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games)

"I’m coming back into focus when Caesar asks him if he has a girlfriend back home.
Peeta hesitates, then gives an unconvincing shake of his head.
“Handsome lad like you. There must be some special girl. Come on, what’s her name?” says Caesar.
Peeta sighs. “Well, there is this one girl. I’ve had a crush on her ever since I can remember. But I’m pretty sure she didn’t know I was alive until the reaping.”
Sounds of sympathy from the crowd. Unrequited love they can relate to.
“She have another fellow?” asks Caesar.
“I don’t know, but a lot of boys like her,” says Peeta.
“So, here’s what you do. You win, you go home. She can’t turn you down then, eh?” says Caesar encouraging-ly.
“I don’t think it’s going to work out. Winning . . . won’t help in my case,” says Peeta.
“Why ever not?” says Caesar, mystified.
Peeta blushes beet red and stammers out. “Because . . . because . . . she came here with me.”
"
— Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games)

"Sometimes, when I clean a kill, I feed Buttercup the entrails. He has stopped hissing at me.

Entrails. No hissing. This is the closest we will ever come to love."
— Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games)

"Gale is mine. I am his. Anything else is unthinkable.
"
— Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire)

"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed."
— Ernest Hemingway

"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug."
— Mark Twain (The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain: A Book of Quotations)

"You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you."
— Ray Bradbury (Zen in the Art of Writing)

"If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster."
— Isaac Asimov

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
— Albert Einstein

"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana."
— Groucho Marx

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
— Groucho Marx

"If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all."
— Oscar Wilde

"Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be ever in your favor."
— Suzanne Collins

"Women are like teabags; you never know how strong they are until they're put in hot water."
— Eleanor Roosevelt

"You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write."
— Saul Bellow

"Why are you worrying about YOU-KNOW-WHO, when you should be worrying about YOU-NO-POO? The constipation sensation that's gripping the nation!"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

"There are two types of people in this world. People who hate clowns...and clowns. (Bobby Pendragon)"
— D.J. MacHale (The Quillan Games)

"I'm the terrorist, do what I say or I'll terrorize you."
— D.J. MacHale (Raven Rise)

"Spader and I were nearly killed. Three times. We were also robbed and witnessed a gruesome murder. Happy birthday to me!"
— D.J. MacHale (The Never War)

""I went to the four levers. None of them were marked. There was only one way to figure out which one was the right one. I had to call upon all my Traveler experience and special powers to figure it out. It's called...Eenie, meenie, miney...mo!"
-Bobby Pendragon"
— D.J. MacHale

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
— Dr. Seuss

"Happiness is a warm puppy."
— Charles M. Schulz

"A room without books is like a body without a soul."
— Marcus Tullius Cicero

"So many books, so little time."
— Frank Zappa

"Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers."
— Charles W. Eliot

"You don’t forget the face of the person who was your last hope."
— Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games)

"No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader."
— Robert Frost

"If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf."
— Lemony Snicket (Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid)

"So what? All writers are lunatics!"
— Cornelia Funke (Inkspell)

"A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people."
— Thomas Mann

"Being a writer is a very peculiar sort of a job: it's always you versus a blank sheet of paper (or a blank screen) and quite often the blank piece of paper wins."
— Neil Gaiman

"Inconceivable!"
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."
— Phyllis Diller

"A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B."
— Fats Domino