Lydia's favorite quotes

"To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other."
— Jack Handey

34 people liked it

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car."
— Jack Handey

119 people liked it

"A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool."
— William Shakespeare (As You Like It)

tags: wisdom

6,416 people liked it

"How many slams in an old screen door? Depends how loud you shut it. How many slices in a bread? Depends how thin you cut it. How much good inside a day? Depends how good you live 'em. How much love inside a friend? Depends how much you give 'em."
— Shel Silverstein (Where the Sidewalk Ends)

tags: how, many, much

452 people liked it

"Two rights don't equal a left."
— Roald Dahl (The BFG)

58 people liked it

"So, please, oh please, we beg, we pray, go throw your TV set away, and in its place you can install, a lovely bookcase on the wall."
— Roald Dahl

tags: humor

481 people liked it

"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
— Roald Dahl

tags: believe, glittering-eyes, hidden, magic, secrets, unlikely-places, watch, world

1,246 people liked it

"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl

tags: food, humor

234 people liked it

"The great thing about human language is that it prevents us from sticking to the matter at hand.

"
— - Lewis Thomas

1 person liked it

"I love mankind, it's people I can't stand."
— Charles M. Schulz

tags: humor, mankind, people

3,206 people liked it

"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line."
— Oscar Levant

tags: genius, humor, insanity

1,692 people liked it

"Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse."
— Thomas Stephen Szasz

tags: humor, inspirational

1,648 people liked it

"Happiness is a warm puppy."
— Charles M. Schulz

tags: animals, dogs, happiness, humor, puppies

1,120 people liked it

"Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch."
— Orson Welles

tags: food, humor

706 people liked it

"Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends."
— George Bernard Shaw

tags: animals, friends, humor, vegetarianism

527 people liked it

"Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny."
— Jack Handey (Deep Thoughts)

tags: funny, humour

958 people liked it

"To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad."
— Jack Handey (Deep Thoughts)

tags: funny, humour

329 people liked it

Lydia's quotes

tags from Lydia's quotes