Jessi's quotes

(showing 1-50 of 65)

"She's as nutty as squirrel poo. "
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

18 people liked it

""I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahs!"-Gazzy"
— James Patterson (Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports)

14 people liked it

"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It's a grain. It's like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
— James Patterson (The Angel Experiment)

tags: food
114 people liked it

"Fang: *grins* You looove me. (holds out arms) You love me this much."
— James Patterson

68 people liked it

"Basically, I have two speeds.... Hostile or smart-aleck. Your choice."
— James Patterson (Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports)

tags: humor
447 people liked it

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
— Dr. Seuss

tags: be-yourself, confidence, individuality, those-who-matter
18,654 people liked it

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
— Albert Einstein

tags: einstein, human, humor, infinity, nature, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
12,348 people liked it

"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."
— Abraham Lincoln

tags: wisdom
9,478 people liked it

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: intelligence, self-deprecation
7,780 people liked it

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square hole. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
— Apple Computer Inc.

tags: advertising, apple, change, commercial, computers, different, madness, misfits, nonconformity, progressive, quo, rebels, status, think, troublemakers
7,183 people liked it

"Women are like teabags; you never know how strong they are until they're put in hot water."
— Eleanor Roosevelt

tags: women
7,186 people liked it

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."
— Mark Twain

tags: individuality, majority, minority, pause, reflect, wisdom
6,350 people liked it

"A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you."
— Elbert Hubbard

tags: friend, friendship, knowledge, love
6,634 people liked it

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
— Miss Piggy

tags: humor
5,845 people liked it

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: enemies, forgiveness, strategy
6,391 people liked it

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
— Albert Einstein

tags: inspirational, life, live, miracle, miracles
5,927 people liked it

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
— Steve Martin

tags: humor, obvious
5,557 people liked it

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
— Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

tags: strength
5,457 people liked it

"I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days."
— Jon Stewart

tags: canada, funny
200 people liked it

"Damn, Claire. Warn a guy before you do a face-plant on the floor next time. I could have looked all heroic and caught you or something -Shane"
— Rachel Caine (Glass Houses)

tags: funny, morganvillevampires
203 people liked it

"A study in the Washington Post says that women have
better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the
authors of that study: 'Duh.'"
— Conan O'Brien

tags: humor, men, women
144 people liked it

"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death."
— Robert Fulghum (All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten)

tags: hope, imagination, inspirational
1,169 people liked it

"Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see."
— Arthur Schopenhauer

tags: inspirational, talent
935 people liked it

"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly."
— Siddhārtha Gautama

tags: inspirational
815 people liked it

"There is neither happiness nor unhappiness in this world; there is only the comparison of one state with another. Only a man who has felt ultimate despair is capable of feeling ultimate bliss. It is necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.....the sum of all human wisdom will be contained in these two words: Wait and Hope."
— Alexandre Dumas (The Count of Monte Cristo)

tags: hope, inspirational, wisdom
816 people liked it

"When written in Chinese, the word "crisis" is composed of two characters. One represents danger, the other opportunity."
— John F. Kennedy

tags: chinese, crisis, danger, inspirational, opportunity
458 people liked it

"Others have seen what is and asked why. I have seen what could be and asked why not. "
— Pablo Picasso (Pablo Picasso: Metamorphoses of the Human Form : Graphic Works, 1895-1972)

tags: creativity, inspirational
236 people liked it

""Who we are is but a stepping stone to what we can become.""
— Uknown (Deus Ex 3)

tags: inspirational, truth
110 people liked it

""When I get older, I'm going to have a prosthetic neck.""
— Jessica Koehnlein

4 people liked it

"I love mankind, it's people I can't stand."
— Charles M. Schulz

tags: humor, mankind, people
3,284 people liked it

"Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry."
— Terry Pratchett (Thief of Time)

tags: humor
1,818 people liked it

"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line."
— Oscar Levant

tags: genius, humor, insanity
1,723 people liked it

"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has already happened."
— Douglas Adams (The Restaurant at the End of the Universe)

tags: humor
1,379 people liked it

"The covers of this book are too far apart."
— Ambrose Bierce

tags: books, criticism, humor, wit
372 people liked it

"Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life."
— Terry Pratchett (Jingo)

tags: humor, proverb
2,055 people liked it

"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. "
— W.C. Fields

tags: humor, sinister
2,089 people liked it

"It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life."
— Terry Pratchett (The Last Continent)

tags: death, humor, life
885 people liked it

"My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best."
— Winston S. Churchill

tags: humor, taste
747 people liked it

"Arrogant and right is surely better than humble and wrong.
"
— Geoff Arbuthnot

tags: humor
34 people liked it

"You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts."
— Kahlil Gibrán

tags: philosophy, poetry
358 people liked it

"Always be a poet, even in prose."
— Charles Baudelaire

tags: poetry, prose, writing
173 people liked it

"If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that it is poetry."
— Emily Dickinson

tags: poetry
120 people liked it

"If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards!'"
— Terry Pratchett (The Color of Magic)

tags: gods, humor, religion, stupidity
119 people liked it

"In politics, stupidity is not a handicap."
— Napoleon Bonaparte

tags: humor, politics, stupidity
106 people liked it

"You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant."
— Harlan Ellison

tags: ignorance, intelligence, opinions, stupidity
99 people liked it

"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity."
— Harlan Ellison

tags: humor, stupidity
89 people liked it

"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life."
— Frank Zappa

tags: stupidity
57 people liked it

"It's too bad stupidity isn't painful."
— Anton Szandor LaVey

tags: stupidity
50 people liked it

"If it is stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.
(a Shin'a'in saying)"
— Mercedes Lackey (Owlknight)

tags: stupid, stupidity, trying
41 people liked it

"Honestly, if you were any slower you'd be going backwards."
— J.K. Rowling

tags: stupidity
38 people liked it

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