"The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits."
— Albert Einstein

"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. "
— Bill Gates

"They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so."
— Lemony Snicket (The Bad Beginning)

"Bangs and smoke were more often the marks of ineptitude than expertise."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

"Well, obviously, she feels very sad, because of Cedric dying. Then I expect she is feeling confused because she liked Cedric and now she likes Harry, and she can't work out who she likes best. Then she'll be feeling guilty, thinking it's an insult to Cedric's memory to be kissing Harry at all, and then she'll be worrying about what everyone else might say if she starts going out with Harry. And she probably can't work out what her feelings towards Harry are anyway, because he was with Cedric when he died, so that's all very mixed up and painful. Oh, and she is afraid she is going to be thrown off the Ravenclaw Quidditch team because she's been flying so badly."

A slightly stunned silence greeted the end of this speach, then Ron said, "One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode."

"Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have," Hermione said nastily, picking up her quill again. "
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

"'Hello, Minister!' bellowed Percy, sending a neat jinx straight at Thicknesse, who dropped his wand and clawed at the front of his robes, apparently in awful discomfort. 'Did I mention I'm resigning?'"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"Well you seemed to busy to call him a prat and I thought someone should."
— J.K. Rowling

"Anyone can speak Troll. All you have to do is point and grunt."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

"When I was quite young my parents never said books were off limits."
— J.K. Rowling

"Aaah ... when two Neptunes appear in the sky it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born, Harry..."
— J.K. Rowling

"What would we want to be prefects for? It'd take all the fun out of life."
— J.K. Rowling

"Why are they all staring?" demanded Albus as he and Rose craned around to look at the other students.

"Don’t let it worry you," said Ron. "It’s me. I’m extremely famous.""
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"'Does it hurt?"' The childish question had escaped Harry's lips before he could stop it.

'Dying? Not at all,' said Sirius. 'Quicker and easier than falling asleep.'"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"'I wish I were dead...'
'Now what good would that do to anyone?'"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"Gotta bone ter pick with yeh. I've heard you've bin givin' out signed photos. How come I haven't got one?"
— J.K. Rowling

"Why, dear boy, we don't send wizards to Azkaban just for blowing up their aunts."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

"For instance, this new idea that You-Know-Who can kill with a single glance from his eyes. That’s a basilisk, listeners. One simple test: Check whether the thing that’s glaring at you has got legs. If it has, it’s safe to look into its eyes, although if it really is You-Know-Who, that’s still likely to be the last thing you ever do."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

"Nitwit, blubber, oddment, tweak."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

"I'll make Goyle do lines, he hates writing," said Ron happily. He lowered his voice to Goyle's low grunt, mimed writing in midair. "I...must...not...look...like...a...baboon's...backside."
— J.K. Rowling

"Ginny!" said Mr. Weasley, flabbergasted. "Haven't I taught you anything? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps it's brain?"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

"Hello, Harry" said George, beaming at him. "We thought we heard your dulcet tones."
"You don't want to bottle up your anger like that, Harry, let it all out," said Fred, also beaming. "There might be a couple of people fifty miles away who didn't hear you."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

"Albus Severus," Harry said quietly, so that nobody but Ginny could hear, and she was tactful enough to pretend to be waving to Rose, who was now on the train, "you were named for two headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a Slytherin and he was probably the bravest man I ever knew."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"Cinderella? Snow White? What's that? An illness?"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me."
— J.K. Rowling

"'Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?' Harry interrupted again.

'So he can sneak up on people,' said Ron. 'Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking...'"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"Well?" Ron said finally, looking up at Harry. "How was it?"
Harry considered it for a moment. "Wet," he said truthfully.
Ron made a noise that might have indicated jubilation or disgust, it was hard to tell.
"Because she was crying," Harry continued heavily.
"Oh," said Ron, his smile faded slightly. "Are you that bad at kissing?"
"Dunno," said Harry, who hadn't considered this, and immediately felt rather worried. "Maybe I am.""
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

"He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"You could say sorry," suggested Harry bluntly.
"What, and get attacked by another flock of canaries?" muttered Ron.
"What did you have to imitate her for?"
"She laughed at my mustache!"
"So did I, it was the stupidest thing I've ever seen."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

"Harry was left to ponder in silence the depths to which girls would sink to get revenge."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

"Ah" said Dumbledore gently, "Yes I thought we might hit that little snag!"
"Snag?" said Fudge, his voice still vibrating with joy. "I see no snag, Dumbledore!"
"Well," said Dumbledore apologetically, "I'm afraid I do."
"Oh, really?"
"Well it's just that you seem to be labouring under the delusion that I am going to -- come quietly. I am afraid I am not going to come quietly at all, Cornelius. I have absolutely no intention of being sent to Azkaban. I could break out, of course -- but what a waste of time, and frankly, I can think of a whole host of things I would rather be doing."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

"It's going to be alright sir," Harry said over and over again, more worried by Dumbledore's silence than he had been by his weakened voice. "We're nearly there ... I can Apparate us both back ... don't worry ..."

"I am not worried, Harry," said Dumbledore, his voice a little stronger despite the freezing water. "I am with you."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

"Accio Brain!"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

"I enjoyed the meetings, too. It was like having friends."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

"You haven't got a letter on yours," George observed. "I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid-we know we're called Gred and Forge."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

"Dumbledore will only leave from Hogwarts when there are none loyal to him!"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

"Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business.

Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.

Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor.

Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

"If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

"Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

"There was a clatter as the basilisk fangs cascaded out of Hermione's arms. Running at Ron, she flung them around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth. Ron threw away the fangs and broomstick he was holding and responded with such enthusiasm that he lifted Hermione off her feet.
"Is this the moment?" Harry asked weakly, and when nothing happened except that Ron and Hermione gripped each other still more firmly and swayed on the spot, he raised his voice. "OI! There's a war going on here!"
Ron and Hermione broke apart, their arms still around each other.
"I know, mate," said Ron, who looked as though he had recently been hit on the back of the head with a Bludger, "so it's now or never, isn't it?"
"Never mind that, what about the Horcrux?" Harry shouted. "D'you think you could just --- just hold it in, until we've got the diadem?"
"Yeah --- right --- sorry ---" said Ron, and he and Hermione set about gathering up fangs, both pink in the face."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"Holey? You have the the whole world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey?"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, is it not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end?"
— Stephenie Meyer

"I promise to love you forever—every single day of forever."
— Stephenie Meyer (Breaking Dawn)

"About three things I was absolutely positive:
First, Edward was a vampire;
Second, there was a part of him -- and I didn't know how dominant that part might be -- that thirsted for my blood;
And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him."
— Stephenie Meyer (Twilight)

"Twilight again, he murmured." Another ending. No matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end."
— Stephenie Meyer (Twilight)

"Edward - I wasn't about to send you off alone. With your luck, not even the black box would survive.
Bella - So let's say my bad luck did crash the plane. What exactly were you going to do about it?
Edward - Why is the plane crashing?
He was trying to hide a smile now.
Bella - The pilots are passed out drunk.
Edward - Easy. I'd fly the plane.
Of course. I pursed my lips and tried again.
Bella - Both engines have exploded and we're falling in a death spiral toward the earth.
Edward - I'd wait till we were close enough to the ground, get a good grip on you, kick out the wall, and jump. Then I'd run you back to the scene of the accident, and we'd stumble around like the two luckiest survivors in history.
I stared at him wordlessly.
"What?" he whispered."
— Stephenie Meyer (Eclipse)

"I think she's having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her."
— Stephenie Meyer (New Moon)

"It is our choices, Harry, that show us who we truly are, far more than our abilities."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

"Dumbledore says people find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

"Stupid, shiny Volvo owner."
— Stephenie Meyer (Twilight)