"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
— Albert Einstein

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."
— Mae West

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
— Douglas Adams (The Restaurant at the End of the Universe)

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."
— Douglas Adams (The Long Dark Tea-time of the Soul)

"For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons."
— Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

"Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand."
— Kurt Vonnegut

"If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph:
THE ONLY PROOF HE NEEDED
FOR THE EXISTENCE OF GOD
WAS MUSIC"
— Kurt Vonnegut

"Dance Like No One is Watching...
Love Like You Have Never Been Hurt Before...
Go to Work Like You Don't Need The Money."
— Kurt Vonnegut

"Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men."
— Joseph Conrad

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
— Groucho Marx (The Essential Groucho)

"If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day."
— E.B. White

"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line."
— Oscar Levant

"I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."
— Jerome K. Jerome

"I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it."
— Mae West

"Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch."
— Orson Welles

"I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it."
— Mae West

"The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest."
— Kurt Vonnegut

"Trust only those who stand to loose as much as you when things go wrong..."
— Sol

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
— Albert Einstein

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."
— Theodore Roosevelt

""A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for."
"
— William Shedd

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."
— Friedrich Nietzsche

"...we accept the love we think we deserve."
— Stephen Chbosky (The Perks of Being a Wallflower)

"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings."
— Anaïs Nin

"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."
— Woody Allen

"Silly Rabbit. Trix are for Kids."
— Trix

"Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car."
— Garrison Keillor

"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."
— C.S. Lewis

"(The Christian) does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us."
— C.S. Lewis

"Atheism turns out to be too simple. If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning..."
— C.S. Lewis

"A young man who wishes to remain a sound atheist cannot be too careful of his reading."
— C.S. Lewis

"And then I stand in front of God's Throne squinting up at His blazing glory and He says, 'You had your opportunities, boy. But did you listen? No. You went on heedlesly reading that garbagey magazine with pictures of naked girls in it. How juvenile! I gave geese more sense than that.'

Please, God. I'm only fourteen years old. A teenager. Have mercy. Be loving.

'I was,' says God. 'For eons. And look at what it got me. You.'

God turns in disgust, just the way Daddy does. 'Sorry, but I'm the Creator. I take it personally. There are slugs and bugs and night-crawlers I feel better about having created - I mean, there are sparrows - I've got my eye on one right now. Is that sparrow consumed with lust? No. He mates in the spring and that's the end of it. Consider the lilies. Do they think about lily tits all the time? No. They look not and they lust not, and yet I say unto you that you will never be half as attractive as they. Therefore, I say unto you, think not about peckers and boobs and all that nonsense and your Heavenly Father will see that you meet a good woman and marry her, just as I do for the sparrow and walleye - yea verily, even the night-crawler and the eelpout. But I've told you this over and over for nineteen centuries. And now, verily, it's too late. Time's up, buster. Lights out! Game's over!'"
— Garrison Keillor

"We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be."
— May Sarton

"A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."
— Albert Einstein

"The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious - the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science."
— Albert Einstein (Albert Einstein)

"You're not to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or says it."
— Malcolm X (By Any Means Necessary)

"A paranoid is someone who knows a little of what's going on. "
— William S. Burroughs

"If you're going to kick authority in the teeth, you might as well use two feet."
— Keith Richards (Keith Richards: In His Own Words)

"Every strike brings me closer to the next home run "
— George Herman Ruth

"We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
Our dried voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
Or rats' feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar
Shape without form, shade without colour,
Paralysed force, gesture without motion;"
— T.S. Eliot

"It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life."
— Terry Pratchett (The Last Continent)

"A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it."
— Oscar Wilde

"People living deeply have no fear of death."
— Anaïs Nin

"It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure to the world."
— John Steinbeck (East of Eden)

"If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl."
— H.L. Mencken

"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes."
— Mark Twain

"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored."
— Aldous Huxley

"One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell one anything."
— Oscar Wilde

"No persons are more frequently wrong, than those who will not admit they are wrong."
— François de La Rochefoucauld

"I believe in God but people are liars. It's those people who say they are appointed by God who I don't believe in."
— Isaac Bashevis Singer (The Collected Stories of Isaac Bashevis Singer)