Randal's quotes

(showing 1-50 of 312)

"When you get to the end of your rope. Tie a knot and hang on."
— Franklin D. Roosevelt

tags: insanity, perseverence, sanity
78 people liked it

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it."
— W.C. Fields

tags: humor, success
970 people liked it

"Every immigrant who comes here should be required within five years to learn English or leave the country."
— Theodore Roosevelt

tags: advise, politics, usa, wisdom
27 people liked it

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
— Steve Martin

tags: humor, obvious
5,681 people liked it

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
— Groucho Marx (The Essential Groucho)

tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor
6,870 people liked it

"I love mankind, it's people I can't stand."
— Charles M. Schulz

tags: humor, mankind, people
3,366 people liked it

"Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck."
— Joss Whedon

tags: individuality
589 people liked it

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
— Theodore Roosevelt

tags: inspirational
5,217 people liked it

"Believe you can and you're halfway there."
— Theodore Roosevelt

tags: inspirational
176 people liked it

"It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed."
— Theodore Roosevelt

tags: failure, success
94 people liked it

"Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far."
— Theodore Roosevelt

79 people liked it

"If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month."
— Theodore Roosevelt

49 people liked it

"When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not Guilty'."
— Theodore Roosevelt

35 people liked it

"When you play, play hard; when you work, don't play at all."
— Theodore Roosevelt

tags: play, work
25 people liked it

"Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, 'Certainly I can!' Then get busy and find out how to do it."
— Theodore Roosevelt

tags: busy, doing, job, learning
22 people liked it

"Knowing what's right doesn't mean much unless you do what's right."
— Theodore Roosevelt

18 people liked it

"The reason fat men are good natured is they can neither fight nor run."
— Theodore Roosevelt

15 people liked it

"A man who has never gone to school may steal a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad."
— Theodore Roosevelt

tags: education, perserverence, roossevelt, theorodre
19 people liked it

"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why we call it 'The Present'."
— Eleanor Roosevelt

tags: inspirational
5,482 people liked it

"Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth."
— Franklin D. Roosevelt

5 people liked it

"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do."
— Eleanor Roosevelt

tags: confidence
642 people liked it

"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself. "
— Eleanor Roosevelt

212 people liked it

"It is not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do yourself."
— Eleanor Roosevelt

tags: demands
133 people liked it

"All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."
— Chuck Palahniuk

tags: god, life
1,640 people liked it

"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything. "
— Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club)

tags: loss
695 people liked it

"We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will."
— Chuck Palahniuk

tags: reality
600 people liked it

"The things you own end up owning you."
— Chuck Palahniuk

272 people liked it

"I don't want to die without any scars."
— Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club)

tags: death, durden, scars, tyler
304 people liked it

"When did the future switch from being a promise to being a threat?"
— Chuck Palahniuk (Invisible Monsters)

tags: future
216 people liked it

"Today is the sort of day where the sun only comes up to humiliate you."
— Chuck Palahniuk

229 people liked it

"If you love something set it free, but don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes."
— Chuck Palahniuk

tags: humor, love
188 people liked it

"Until you find something to fight for, you settle for something to fight against."
— Chuck Palahniuk

125 people liked it

"What we don't understand we can make mean anything."
— Chuck Palahniuk

110 people liked it

"The only reason why we ask other people how their weekend was is so we can tell them about our own weekend."
— Chuck Palahniuk (Invisible Monsters)

tags: human-nature, weekend
107 people liked it

"A journey to nowhere starts with a single step, too."
— Chuck Palahniuk (Survivor)

tags: pessimism
78 people liked it

"By the time you read this, you'll be older than you remember"
— Chuck Palahniuk (Diary)

tags: age
55 people liked it

"If you don't know what you want," the doorman said, "you end up with a lot you don't."
— Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club: A Novel)

53 people liked it

"Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it."
— Chuck Palahniuk

44 people liked it

""When you think about it, Johnny Appleseed was a fucking ecological terrorist""
— Chuck Palahniuk

tags: lullaby
36 people liked it

"The joke is, we all have the same punchline."
— Chuck Palahniuk (Survivor)

34 people liked it

"If you don't know what you want, you end up with a lot you don't."
— Chuck Palahniuk

27 people liked it

"At this rate, we'll never get to the future."
— Chuck Palahniuk (Invisible Monsters)

tags: future
16 people liked it

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
— Robert A. Heinlein

tags: cats, humor, women
3,984 people liked it

"Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch."
— Orson Welles

tags: food, humor
739 people liked it

"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. "
— W.C. Fields

tags: humor, sinister
2,130 people liked it

"My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best."
— Winston S. Churchill

tags: humor, taste
765 people liked it

"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."
— Charles Lamb

tags: humor, work
701 people liked it

"To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness."
— Oscar Wilde (The Importance of Being Earnest)

tags: children, humor, parents
359 people liked it

"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
— Albert Einstein

tags: humor, insanity, life
9,999 people liked it

"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. "
— Bill Gates

tags: humor, work
3,903 people liked it

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