"Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business.

Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.

Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor.

Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

"Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?"
"Yes," said Harry stiffly.
"Yes, sir."
"There's no need to call me "sir" Professor."
The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

"Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort. Remember Cedric Diggory."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

"If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

"Oh well... I'd just been thinking, if you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

"It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default."
— J.K. Rowling

"Wit beyond measure is a man's greatest treasure."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

"Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"Let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

"We're all human, aren't we? Every human life is worth the same, and worth saving."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"Percy wouldn't notice a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing one of
Dobby's hats."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

"Nitwit, blubber, oddment, tweak."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

"We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

"Ginny!" said Mr. Weasley, flabbergasted. "Haven't I taught you anything? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps it's brain?"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

"Holey? You have the the whole world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey?"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"It was, he thought, the difference between being dragged into the arena to face a battle to the death and walking into the arena with your head held high. Some people, perhaps, would say that there was little to choose between the two ways, but Dumbledore knew - and so do I, thought Harry, with a rush of fierce pride, and so did my parents - that there was all the difference in the world."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

"He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"There was a clatter as the basilisk fangs cascaded out of Hermione's arms. Running at Ron, she flung them around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth. Ron threw away the fangs and broomstick he was holding and responded with such enthusiasm that he lifted Hermione off her feet.
"Is this the moment?" Harry asked weakly, and when nothing happened except that Ron and Hermione gripped each other still more firmly and swayed on the spot, he raised his voice. "OI! There's a war going on here!"
Ron and Hermione broke apart, their arms still around each other.
"I know, mate," said Ron, who looked as though he had recently been hit on the back of the head with a Bludger, "so it's now or never, isn't it?"
"Never mind that, what about the Horcrux?" Harry shouted. "D'you think you could just --- just hold it in, until we've got the diadem?"
"Yeah --- right --- sorry ---" said Ron, and he and Hermione set about gathering up fangs, both pink in the face."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"'Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?' Harry interrupted again.

'So he can sneak up on people,' said Ron. 'Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking...'"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

"Ah" said Dumbledore gently, "Yes I thought we might hit that little snag!"
"Snag?" said Fudge, his voice still vibrating with joy. "I see no snag, Dumbledore!"
"Well," said Dumbledore apologetically, "I'm afraid I do."
"Oh, really?"
"Well it's just that you seem to be labouring under the delusion that I am going to -- come quietly. I am afraid I am not going to come quietly at all, Cornelius. I have absolutely no intention of being sent to Azkaban. I could break out, of course -- but what a waste of time, and frankly, I can think of a whole host of things I would rather be doing."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

"He was my mum and dad's best friend. He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though...keep up with news...check if I'm happy..."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

"It's going to be alright sir," Harry said over and over again, more worried by Dumbledore's silence than he had been by his weakened voice. "We're nearly there ... I can Apparate us both back ... don't worry ..."

"I am not worried, Harry," said Dumbledore, his voice a little stronger despite the freezing water. "I am with you."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

"Accio Brain!"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

"You'd think people had better things to gossip about," said Ginny as she sat on the common room floor, leaning against Harry’s legs and reading the Daily Prophet. "Three Dementor attacks in a week, and all Romilda Vane does is ask me if it’s true you’ve got a Hippogriff tattooed across your chest."
Ron and Hermione both roared with laughter. Harry ignored them.
"What did you tell her?"
"I told her it's a Hungarian Horntail," said Ginny, turning a page of the newspaper idly. "Much more macho."
"Thanks," said Harry, grinning. "And what did you tell her Ron’s got?"
"A Pygmy Puff, but I didn’t say where."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

"Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant...The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives."
— Derek Landy

"'So that plan worked out well.'

'Skulduggery, your entire plan consisted of, and I quote, "Let's get up close and then see what happens."'

'All the same,' he said, 'I think the whole thing worked out rather beautifully.'"
— Derek Landy (Playing with Fire)

"'If things go wrong, I'll lead them away. Once it's clear, get back to the car. If you don't see me in five minutes, then I've probably died a very brave and heroic death. Oh and don't Oh, and don't touch the radio--I've got it tuned right where I want it and I don't want you messing that up.'"
— Derek Landy (Playing with Fire)

"We're not retreating; we're advancing in reverse."
— Derek Landy, Playing With Fire

"He looked at her. 'In order to finish, I'll have to have defeated six Infected, Dusk, and Vengeous himself.'

'Yeah. So?'

'The Infected I can manage.'

She frowned. 'And Vengeous? I mean, you can beat him, right?'

'Well,' he said, "I can certainly try. And trying is half the battle.'

'What's the other half?'

He shrugged. 'Hitting him more times than he hits me.'"
— Derek Landy (Playing with Fire)

"'Are you going to shoot me?' Vengeous sneered. 'I wouldn't be surprised. What would a thing like you know about honor? Only a heathen would bring a gun to a sword fight.'

'And only a moron would bring a sword to a gunfight.'"
— Derek Landy (Playing with Fire)

"Vengeous scowled. 'As you can see,' he said, 'you are vastly outnumbered.'

'I usually am.'

'Your situation has become quite untenable.'

'It usually does.'

'You are within moments of being swarmed by these filthy creatures of undeath and torn apart in a maelstrom of pain and fury.'

Skulduggery paused. 'Okay, that's a new one on me.'"
— Derek Landy (Playing with Fire)

"Now the trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed."
— C.S. Lewis (The Magician's Nephew)

"I don't know about you, but I'm kind of fed up with realism. After all, there's enough reality already; why make more of it? Why not leave realism for the memoirs of drug addicts, the histories of salt, the biographies of porn stars? Why must we continue to read about the travails of divorced people or mildly depressed Canadians when we could be contemplating the shopping habits of zombies, or the difficulties that ensue when living and dead people marry each other? We should be demanding more stories about faery handbags and pyjamas inscribed with the diaries of strange women. We should not rest until someone writes about a television show that features the Free People's World-Tree Library, with its elaborate waterfalls and Forbidden Books and Pirate-Magicians. We should be pining for a house haunted by rabbits."
— Kelly Link

"Scientists have calculated that the chances of something so patently absurd actually existing are millions to one.
But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten."
— Terry Pratchett (Mort)

"You would be amazed how many magicians have died after being bitten by mad rabbits. It's far more common than you might think.
-Angela the Herbalist"
— Christopher Paolini (Brisingr)

"One magician demanded I show him an image of the love of his life. I rustled up a mirror."
— Jonathan Stroud (The Amulet of Samarkand)

"'Now sir, said the bulldog in his business-like way. 'Are you a animal, vegetable, or mineral?'
- The Magician's Nephew"
— C.S. Lewis (The Chronicles of Narnia)

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
— C.S. Lewis

"We read to know that we are not alone."
— C.S. Lewis

"You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me."
— C.S. Lewis

"I can't imagine a man really enjoying a book and reading it only once."
— C.S. Lewis

"There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it."
— C.S. Lewis (The Voyage of the "Dawn Treader")

"If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair."
— C.S. Lewis

"You can make anything by writing."
— C.S. Lewis

"Eating and reading are two pleasures that combine admirably."
— C.S. Lewis

"She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression."
— C.S. Lewis (The Screwtape Letters)