"Did you ever want to set someone's head on fire, just to see what it looked like? Did you ever stand in the street and think to yourself, I could make that nun go blind just by giving her a kiss? Did you ever lay out plans for stitching babies and stray cats into a Perfect New Human? Did you ever stand naked surrounded by people who want your gleaming sperm, squirting frankincense, soma and testosterone from every pore? If so, then you're the bastard who stole my drugs Friday night. And I'll find you. Oh, yes."
— Warren Ellis (Transmetropolitan Vol. 5: Lonely City)

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
— Steve Martin

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
— Maya Angelou

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
— Marilyn Monroe

"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
— Albert Einstein

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
— Oscar Wilde

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
— C.S. Lewis

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
— Groucho Marx (The Essential Groucho)

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
— Oscar Wilde

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
— Douglas Adams (The Restaurant at the End of the Universe)

"I have always imagined that Paradise will be some kind of library."
— Jorge Luis Borges

"It is never too late to be what you might have been."
— George Eliot

"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."
— Terry Pratchett (Diggers)

"Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. 'Pooh?' he whispered.
'Yes, Piglet?'
'Nothing,' said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand. 'I just wanted to be sure of you.'"
— A.A. Milne (Winnie-the-Pooh)

"Reality continues to ruin my life."
— Bill Watterson (The Complete Calvin and Hobbes)

"I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it."
— Mae West

"Two years? That's entirely too long. If you want, we can take care of that. After two years it's pure therapy."
— Ilona Andrews (Magic Burns)

"Arrogant and right is surely better than humble and wrong.
"
— Geoff Arbuthnot

"The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid."
— Jane Austen (Northanger Abbey)

"I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer."
— Woody Allen

"Marge, it takes two to lie- one to lie, and one to listen. (Homer Simpson)"
— Matt Groening

"The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept."
— George Carlin

"Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before."
— Steven Wright

"I'm betting that I'm just abnormal enough to survive."
— The Tick

"I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier."
— Woody Allen

"Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!"
— Warren Ellis

"Alice laughed. 'There's no use trying,' she said. 'One can't believe impossible things.'

'I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. 'When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. There goes the shawl again!'"
— Lewis Carroll

"Curran looked back at me. "Why is it you always attract creeps?"

"You tell me." Ha! Walked right into that one, yes, he did."
— Ilona Andrews (Magic Strikes)

"People, generally, suck."
— Christopher Moore

"'One day,' Orest said, looking at him comically, 'you will say something that is less than practical and sensible, something that is driven by no forethought and nothing but passion, and I will probably collapse with shock.'"
— Mercedes Lackey (Alta)

"Finally, from so little sleeping and so much reading, his brain dried up and he went completely out of his mind."
— Cervantes (Don Quixote)

"You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time."
— Steven Wright

"If there is anyone here whom I have not insulted, I beg his pardon."
— Johannes Brahms

"Have fun storming the castle!"
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"Snoring keeps the monsters away."
— Judy Blume (Fudge-a-Mania)

"Show me somebody who is always smiling, always cheerful, always optimistic, and I will show you somebody who hasn't the faintest idea what the heck is really going on."
— Mike Royko

"book collecting is an obsession, an occupation, a disease, an addiction, a fascination, an absurdity, a fate. it is not a hobby. those who do it must do it. those who do not do it, think of it as a cousin of stamp collecting, a sister of the trophy cabinet, bastard of a sound bank account and a weak mind."
— Jeanette Winterson

"Welcome to the wonderful world of jealousy, he thought. For the price of admission, you get a splitting headache, a nearly irresistable urge to commit murder, and an inferority complex. Yippee."
— J.R. Ward (Dark Lover)

"“You know,” he said, “this is why I love you so much.”
Her tone was heartbreakingly warm. “What do you mean?”
“You don’t ask me to go inside because it’s cold. You just want to make it easier for me to be where I want to stand.”"
— J.R. Ward (Lover Avenged)

"Besides, you think I'm not used to hurting? For me, it's home sweet home, my brother."
— J.R. Ward (Lover Awakened)

"He raised a brow. 'Petunia, Ms. Lane?'
I scowled. "Ass, Barrons."
— Karen Marie Moning (Darkfever)

"When I want you to beg, I'll tell you."
— J.R. Ward (Lover Unbound)

"When in doubt, Ignore and be horribly unimpressed"
— Laurell K. Hamilton

"Sometimes it's not the optimist you need, but another pessimist to walk beside you and know, absolutely know, that the sound in the dark is a monster, and it really is as bad as you think.

Did that sound hopeless? It didn't feel hopeless. It felt reassuring. It felt - real."
— Laurell K. Hamilton (Blood Noir)

"Conversation between a princess and an outlaw:
"If I stand for fairy-tale balls and dragon bait--dragon bait--what do you stand for?"
"Me? I stand for uncertainty, insecurity, bad taste, fun, and things that go boom in the night."
"Franky, it seems to me that you've turned yourself into a stereotype."
"You may be right. I don't care. As any car freak will tell you, the old models are the most beautiful, even if they aren't the most efficient. People who sacrifice beauty for efficiency get what they deserve."
"Well, you may get off on being a beautiful stereotype, regardless of the social consequences, but my conscience won't allow it."
"And I goddamn refuse to be dragon bait. I'm as capable of rescuing you as you are of rescuing me."
"I'm an outlaw, not a hero. I never intended to rescue you. We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves."
— Tom Robbins

"When other little girls wanted to be ballet dancers, I kind of wanted to be a vampire."
— Angelina Jolie

"I have a body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge."
— Spike Milligan

"I'm watching a dream I'll never wake up from.
-Spike Speigel"
— Keiko Nobumoto

"I do believe in fairies! I do! I do!"
— J.M. Barrie

"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithlessand therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments."
— Oriah Mountain Dreamer