"May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't to forget make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself."
— Neil Gaiman

"Being a nerd, which is to say going too far and caring too much about a subject, is the best way to make friends I know."
— Sarah Vowell (The Partly Cloudy Patriot)

"Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love."
— Charles M. Schulz

"The cure for boredom is curiosity.
There is no cure for curiosity."
— Dorothy Parker

"Her big heart did not, as is so sadly often the case, inhabit a big bosom."
— Dorothy Parker (The Portable Dorothy Parker)

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it."
— W.C. Fields

"The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else do it wrong without comment."
— T.H. White

"There is one fairly good reason for fighting - and that is, if the other man starts it. You see, wars are a great wickedness, perhaps the greatest wickedness of a wicked species. They are so wicked that they must not be allowed. When you can be perfectly certain that the other man started them, then is the time when you might have a sort of duty to stop them. "
— T.H. White (The Once and Future King)

"In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded."
— Terry Pratchett (Lords and Ladies)

"It was Lisa, aged five, whose mother asked her to thank my wife for the peas we had sent them from our garden. 'I thought the peas were awful, I wish you and Mrs. Thurber were dead, and I hate trees,' said Lisa."
— James Thurber

"Perhaps we all give the best of our hearts -uncritically- to those who hardly think of us in return"
— T.H. White

"She wasn't much to look at but she was something to think about."
— James Thurber

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
— Albert Einstein

"I couldn't possibly have sex with someone with such a slender grasp on grammar!"
— Russell Brand

"For one thing, she pronounced flowers 'flars' and I couldn't let it slide."
— James Thurber

"Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher."
— Flannery O'Connor

""This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.""
— Dorothy Parker

"(When asked to use "horticulture" in a sentence) You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
— Dorothy Parker (The Portable Dorothy Parker)

"Let me be the first to admit that the naked truth about me is to the naked truth about Salvador Dali as an old ukulele in the attic is to a piano in a tree, and I mean a piano with breasts. Senor Dali has the jump on me from the beginning. He remembers and describes in detail what it was like in the womb. My own earliest memory is of accompanying my father to a polling booth in Columbus, Ohio, where he voted for William McKinley."
— James Thurber (The Thurber Carnival)

"If you can't explain it to a six year old, you don't understand it yourself."
— Albert Einstein

"Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind."
— Albert Einstein

"In youth, it was a way I had,
To do my best to please.
And change, with every passing lad
To suit his theories.

But now I know the things I know
And do the things I do,
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you."
— Dorothy Parker