Andy's quotes

(showing 1-50 of 63)

"I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: heaven, humor
851 people liked it

"There are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it."
— Bertrand Russell

tags: books, humor
773 people liked it

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
— Ernest Hemingway

tags: drinking
666 people liked it

"Madame, all stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true-story teller who would keep that from you."
— Ernest Hemingway

tags: death, honesty, life, truth, wisdom
33 people liked it

"My mother is a fish."
— William Faulkner (As I Lay Dying)

37 people liked it

"What business is it of yours where I'm from, friendo?"
— Cormac McCarthy (No Country For Old Men)

16 people liked it

"War was always here. Before man was, war waited for him. The ultimate trade awaiting its ultimate practitioner."
— Cormac McCarthy (Blood Meridian: Or the Evening Redness in the West)

tags: war
21 people liked it

"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them."
— Mark Twain

tags: literacy
5,951 people liked it

"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."
— Mark Twain

tags: history
214 people liked it

"Black holes are where God divided by zero."
— Albert Einstein

tags: humor
248 people liked it

"The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon."
— Kurt Vonnegut

tags: humor, politics
381 people liked it

"And so it goes..."
— Kurt Vonnegut

364 people liked it

"Ting-a-ling mother fucker."
— Kurt Vonnegut (Timequake)

25 people liked it

"This is definitely / for the brothers / who ain't here."
— Willie Perdomo (Where a Nickel Costs a Dime)

tags: latino, nuyorican, poetry
2 people liked it

"The cure for boredom is curiosity.
There is no cure for curiosity."
— Dorothy Parker

tags: curiosity, women
1,562 people liked it

"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."
— Dorothy Parker

tags: author, book, humorist, poet, wit
500 people liked it

"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to."
— Dorothy Parker

tags: humor, money
318 people liked it

"Don't look at me in that tone of voice."
— Dorothy Parker

tags: humor
147 people liked it

"So, you're the man who can't spell 'fuck.'"
-- Dorothy Parker to Norman Mailer after publishers had convinced Mailer to replace the word with a euphemism, 'fug,' in his 1948 book, "The Naked and the Dead."
— Dorothy Parker

54 people liked it

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
— Martin Luther King Jr.

tags: darkness, drive-out, hate, inspirational, light, love, peace
6,695 people liked it

"If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything."
— Malcolm X

tags: belief, integrity
6,363 people liked it

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
— Mark Twain

tags: humor, procrastination
5,505 people liked it

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
— Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

tags: strength
5,163 people liked it

"In heaven, all the interesting people are missing."
— Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

tags: heaven, religion
394 people liked it

"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything."
— Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

tags: faith
142 people liked it

"The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently."
— Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

tags: corruption, individuality, peer-pressure, youth
98 people liked it

"Every deep thinker is more afraid of being understood than of being misunderstood."
— Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

25 people liked it

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
— Hunter S. Thompson

407 people liked it

"We can't stop here, this is bat country!"
— Hunter S. Thompson

89 people liked it

"I was not proud of what I had learned but I never doubted that it was worth knowing."
— Hunter S. Thompson (The Rum Diary: A Novel)

41 people liked it

"Do not wait for the last judgment. It comes every day."
— Albert Camus

tags: judgement, life, religion
122 people liked it

"Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up."
— Jesse Jackson

tags: judgement, kindness
22 people liked it

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away. "
— Philip K. Dick

tags: pkd
141 people liked it

"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored."
— Aldous Huxley

tags: fact, ignorance, truth
1,146 people liked it

"Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them."
— Bill Maher

tags: men, relationships, women
44 people liked it

"Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit!'"
— Bill Maher

tags: suicide
27 people liked it

"We have a Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities."
— Bill Maher

17 people liked it

"The deepest sin against the human mind is to believe things without evidence."
— Aldous Huxley

11 people liked it

"When the going gets weird the weird turn pro."
— Hunter S. Thompson

175 people liked it

"My alphabet starts with this letter called yuzz. It s the letter I use to spell yuzz a ma tuzz. You ll be sort of surprised what there is to be found once you go beyond Z and start poking around "
— Dr. Seuss

27 people liked it

"Mothers are all slightly insane."
— J.D. Salinger (The Catcher in the Rye)

100 people liked it

"People are always ruining things for you."
— J.D. Salinger

tags: catcher, rye, salinger
33 people liked it

"Character is plot, plot is character."
— F. Scott Fitzgerald

tags: character, plot
8 people liked it

"Stealing? How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain what’s-his-name? We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughin’, did you?”
- Homer Simpson"
— Matt Groening

tags: funny, religion, simpsons
9 people liked it

"The bigotry of the nonbeliever is for me nearly as funny as the bigotry of the believer."
— Albert Einstein

25 people liked it

"No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible."
— Voltaire

54 people liked it

"Because it is my name! Because I cannot have another in my life! Because I lie and sign myself to lies! Because I am not worth the dust on the feet of them that hang! How may I live without my name? I have given you my soul; leave me my name!"
— Arthur Miller (The Crucible)

9 people liked it

"Achilles: I'll tell you a secret. Something they don't teach you in your temple. The Gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again.
"
— Homer (The Iliad)

14 people liked it

"Opportunities multiply as they are seized."
— Sun Tzu

22 people liked it

"See the child."
— Cormac McCarthy (Blood Meridian: Or the Evening Redness in the West)

tags: first-sentence
5 people liked it

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