"If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales."
— Albert Einstein

"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. "
— Bill Gates
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— Bill Gates

"I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."
— Albert Einstein

"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."
— Albert Einstein

"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
— Mark Twain

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."
— Mark Twain

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."
— Mark Twain

"Humans think they are smarter than dolphins because we build cars and buildings and start wars etc...and all that dolphins do is swim in the water, eat fish and play around. Dolphins believe that they are smarter for exactly the same reasons."
— Douglas Adams

"The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits."
— Albert Einstein

"Logic will get you from A to Z; imagination will get you everywhere."
— Albert Einstein

"So many books, so little time."
— Frank Zappa

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
— Mark Twain

"My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best."
— Winston S. Churchill

"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it."
— Winston S. Churchill

"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
— Albert Einstein

"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."
— Steven Wright

""Tomorrow is a promise to no one.""
— Clint Eastwood

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said 'I don't know'."
— Mark Twain

"Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you."
— Stephanie Klein (Straight up and Dirty)

"If you ride both sides of the fence, all you're gonna get is a wedgie."
— a great PHILosopher

"Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair."
— George Burns

"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain."
— Mark Twain

"I have a terrible memory; I never forget a thing."
— Edith Konecky

"The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll

""I have to admit that I lie on my Weight Watchers' food list. I'll put down that I had 3 eggs...but I won't put down that they were Cadbury Chocolate Eggs.""
— Caroline Rhea

"Oghhh,

Sorry. I needed to get that out."
— Anna Pei

"Why do people always expect authors to answer questions? I am an author because I want to ask questions. If I had answers, I'd be a politician."
— Eugène Ionesco

"I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit."
— Mel Brooks

"I think life should be more like TV. I think all of life's problems ought to be solved in 30 minutes with simple homilies, don't you? I think weight and oral hygiene ought to be our biggest concerns. I think we should all have powerful, high-paying jobs, and everyone should drive fancy sports cars. All our desires should be instantly gratified. Women should always wear tight clothing, and men should carry powerful handguns. Life overall should be more glamorous, thrill-packed, and filled with applause, don't you think?... Then again, if real life was like that, what would we watch on television?"
— Bill Watterson (The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes)

"Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain--and most do."
— Dale Carnegie

"No! Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to know!" the man yelled.
"Really?" said Vimes. "What's the orbital velocity of the moon?"
"What?"
"Oh, you'd like something simpler?"
— Terry Pratchett (Night Watch)

"I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter."
— George Bernard Shaw

"You can't make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?"
— Bob Moawad

"Yes, Steel is stronger and harder than Titanium. A hardened Steel blade can cut through a Titanium blade with ease. However... after all is said and done, after the battle's won, even the mighty Stainless Steel has been fatigued, corrupted, and corroded - rusted away to mere nothingness. Yet humble Titanium remains, standing tall, shining and bright, free of corrosion, uncorruptible. That is Titanium's true power - the ability to endure to the end, and to resist the evil of corruption. Such is truly a strength that lasts."
— Steve Wexler

"Deserves it! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death and judgment. For even the very wise cannot see all ends."
— J.R.R. Tolkien (The Fellowship of the Ring)

"Fantasy is escapist, and that is its glory. If a soldier is imprisioned by the enemy, don't we consider it his duty to escape?. . .If we value the freedom of mind and soul, if we're partisans of liberty, then it's our plain duty to escape, and to take as many people with us as we can!"
— J.R.R. Tolkien

"Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger."
— J.R.R. Tolkien (The Fellowship of the Ring)

" And he took her in his arms and kissed her under the sunlit sky, and he cared not that they stood high upon the walls in the sight of many."
— J.R.R. Tolkien

"Little by little, one travels far"
— J.R.R. Tolkien

"It's a job that's never started that takes the longest to finish."
— J.R.R. Tolkien

"A man that flies from his fear may find that he has only taken a short cut to meet it."
— J.R.R. Tolkien (The Children of Húrin)

"'In one thing you have not changed, dear friend,' said Aragorn: 'you still speak in riddles.'

'What? In riddles?' said Gandalf. 'No! For I was talking aloud to myself. A habit of the old: they choose the wisest person present to speak to; the long explanations needed by the young are wearying.'"
— J.R.R. Tolkien (The Two Towers)

"He who breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom."
— J.R.R. Tolkien

"'You cannot pass,' he said. The orcs stood still, and a dead silence fell. 'I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. You cannot pass. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udun. Go back to the Shadow! You cannot pass.'"
— J.R.R. Tolkien

"I never saw a man fight as Conan fought. He put his back to the courtyard wall, and before they overpowered him the dead men were strewn in heaps thigh-deep about him. But at last they dragged him down, a hundred against one."
— Robert E. Howard (A Witch Shall Be Born)

"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing."
— Robert E. Howard

"I have known many gods. He who denies them is as blind as he who trusts them too deeply. I seek not beyond death. It may be the blackness averred by the Nemedian skeptics, or Crom's realm of ice and cloud, or the snowy plains and vaulted halls of the Nordheimer's Valhalla. I know not, nor do I care. Let me live deep while I live; let me know the rich juices of red meat and stinging wine on my palate, the hot embrace of white arms, the mad exultation of battle when the blue blades flame and crimson, and I am content. Let teachers and priests and philosophers brood over questions of reality and illusion. I know this: if life is illusion, then I am no less an illusion, and being thus, the illusion is real to me. I live, I burn with life, I love, I slay, and am content.
--"Queen of the Black Coast""
— Robert E. Howard

"If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

"It is our choices, Harry, that show us who we truly are, far more than our abilities."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)