Gavin's quotes

(showing 1-50 of 82)

"Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake."
— Jon Stewart

tags: humor, religion
314 people liked it

"I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time."
— Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

tags: agama, agnosticism, prayer, religion
207 people liked it

"My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness."
— Dalai Lama XIV

tags: buddism, kindness, religion
190 people liked it

"If one were to take the Bible seriously one would go mad. But to take the Bible seriously, one must be already mad."
— Aleister Crowley

tags: anti-christian, atheism, bible, religion
94 people liked it

"God is a concept by which we measure our pain."
— John Lennon

tags: beatles, god, religion
100 people liked it

"Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes. "
— George Carlin

tags: religion
88 people liked it

"What year did Jesus think it was?"
— George Carlin

tags: christ, christianity, humor, jesus, religion, time
75 people liked it

" I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes the objects of his creation, whose purposes are modeled after our own -- a God, in short, who is but a reflection of human frailty. Neither can I believe that the individual survives the death of his body, although feeble souls harbor such thoughts through fear or ridiculous egotisms."
— Albert Einstein

tags: god, rational, religion, thinking
70 people liked it

"We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God, who creates faulty Humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes." - "
— Gene Roddenberry

tags: atheism, atheist, god, humans, religion
48 people liked it

"Music is the only religion that delivers the goods."
— Frank Zappa

tags: music, religion
42 people liked it

"Religions are all alike- founded upon fables and mythologies."
— Thomas Jefferson

tags: religion
35 people liked it

"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. "
— George Carlin

tags: humor, religion
42 people liked it

"The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends which are nevertheless pretty childish. No interpretation no matter how subtle can (for me) change this."
— Albert Einstein

38 people liked it

"If there is a God, atheism must seem to Him as less of an insult than religion."
— Edmond De Goncourt

tags: atheism, religion
31 people liked it

"Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to the Bible? Who wins?"
— Frank Zappa

tags: religion
17 people liked it

"The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshiped anything but himself."
— Richard Francis Burton

tags: religion
15 people liked it

"And if there were a God, I think it very unlikely that He would have such an uneasy vanity as to be offended by those who doubt His existence"
— Bertrand Russell

tags: god, religion
18 people liked it

"I have found God, but he is insufficient."
— Henry Miller (Tropic of Cancer)

tags: god, religion
10 people liked it

""Suppose we've chosen the wrong god. Every time we go to church we're just making him madder and madder"
- Homer Simpson's version of Pascal's Wager"
— Matt Groening

tags: funny, religion, simpsons
7 people liked it

"Could a being create the fifty billion galaxies
each with two hundred billion stars
then rejoice in the smell of burning goat flesh?"
— Ron Patterson

tags: animal-sacrifice, christianity, god, religion
2 people liked it

"We were taught to pray with our eyes shut."
— David Knudsen

tags: christianity, pith, religion
3 people liked it

"Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?"
— Jules Feiffer

tags: religion
5 people liked it

"The church says the earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for I have seen the shadow on the moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the church."
— Ferdinand Magellan

tags: astronomy, church, religion
4 people liked it

"The minute you get a religion you stop thinking. Believe in one thing too much and you have no room for new ideas. "
— Ray Bradbury (The October Country)

tags: religion
7 people liked it

"If cricket is a Religion, then I'm a Priest."
— Harwinder Singh Bhatia

tags: cricket, priest, religion
2 people liked it

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough"
— Mae West

tags: humor, life
8,624 people liked it

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
— Steve Martin

tags: humor, obvious
5,286 people liked it

"I love making friends. It is the people I can't stand."
— Linus

tags: friendship, funny, honesty, humor, people, truth
9 people liked it

"Party hard!!!!!"
— Sarah Skittles

tags: humor, parties
1 person liked it

"If at first you do succed, try to hide your astonishment!"
— Harry F. Banks

tags: humor
4 people liked it

""If you're psychokinetic and you know it, clap my hands!""
— Malcolm Matthews

tags: humor
1 person liked it

""Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on a Saturday night.""
— Woody Allen

tags: allen, bisexual, bisexuality, chance, date, double, humor, night, sarcastic, saturday, woody
3 people liked it

"It's great to be alive, isn't it? Especially when you consider the alternative. "
— Jonathan Ross

tags: humor, inpirational
5 people liked it

"I don't have a microwave oven but I do have a clock that occasionally cooks shit."
— Mitch Hedburg

tags: humor
2 people liked it

"I'm the one that has to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to."
— Jimi Hendrix

tags: death, life
1,052 people liked it

"Fear not death for the sooner we die, the longer we shall be immortal."
— Benjamin Franklin

tags: death
175 people liked it

"Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives."
— A. Sachs

tags: death, life
4 people liked it

"Believe me, when you die, it's everybody else's but your problem"
— Cecelia Ahern (The Gift)

tags: death
7 people liked it

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."
— Mark Twain

tags: lies, lying, memory, truth
9,217 people liked it

"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored."
— Aldous Huxley

tags: fact, ignorance, truth
1,154 people liked it

"A book without words is like love without a kiss; it's empty."
— Andrew Wolfe

tags: books, inspirational, love, truth
923 people liked it

"The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off."
— Gloria Steinem

tags: anger, freedom, truth
709 people liked it

"Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain't going away."
— Elvis Presley

tags: sun, truth
59 people liked it

"Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future."
— Niels Bohr

tags: absurd, humour, truth, wisdom
49 people liked it

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
— Robert A. Heinlein

tags: cats, humor, women
3,724 people liked it

"The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him."
— Cher

tags: marriage, women
100 people liked it

"Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them."
— Bill Maher

tags: men, relationships, women
44 people liked it

"The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them."
— Bill Maher

tags: humour, politics
16 people liked it

"Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex."
— Bill Maher

11 people liked it

"Our biggest regrets are not for the things we have done but for the things we haven't done"
— Chad Michael Murray

tags: haven-t, inspiration, regret
9 people liked it

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