Kai's quotes

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"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
— Albert Einstein

tags: humor, insanity, life
9,344 people liked it

"Be the change that you wish to see in the world."
— Mahatma Gandhi

tags: action, change, inspirational, philosophy, wish
11,313 people liked it

"So many books, so little time."
— Frank Zappa

tags: books, humor
9,196 people liked it

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
— C.S. Lewis

tags: friendship
7,238 people liked it

"All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by frost."
— J.R.R. Tolkien (The Fellowship of the Ring)

tags: frost, glitter, gold, lost, poetry, roots, strength, strong, wander, wither
6,115 people liked it

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...," He murmured.
"What a stupid lamb, " I sighed.
"What a sick, masochistic lion."
— Stephenie Meyer

tags: idiotic-book, love, romance, romantic
5,523 people liked it

"Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort. Remember Cedric Diggory."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

tags: integrity
4,775 people liked it

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
— Steve Martin

tags: humor, obvious
5,297 people liked it

"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. "
— Bill Gates

tags: humor, work
3,664 people liked it

"Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car."
— Garrison Keillor

tags: humor, religion
3,853 people liked it

"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."
— Terry Pratchett (Diggers)

tags: humor, open-mind, thinking
2,918 people liked it

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
— Groucho Marx

tags: books, humor, reading, television
2,805 people liked it

"Reality continues to ruin my life."
— Bill Watterson (The Complete Calvin and Hobbes)

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor, life
2,605 people liked it

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

tags: humor, movies
2,204 people liked it

"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."
— Charles M. Schulz

tags: chocolate, food, humor
2,824 people liked it

"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. "
— W.C. Fields

tags: humor, sinister
1,983 people liked it

"Inconceivable!"
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

tags: funny, humor, inconceivable, movies
1,691 people liked it

"Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry."
— Terry Pratchett (Thief of Time)

tags: humor
1,750 people liked it

"Of all the things about me that could frighten you, you worry about my driving?"
— Stephenie Meyer (Twilight)

tags: driving, humor
1,433 people liked it

"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."
— Albert Einstein

tags: humor
1,618 people liked it

"Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator."
— Lemony Snicket (Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid)

tags: funny
755 people liked it

"I'm not drunk, just a little stoned."
— Gerard Way

tags: alcohol, drugs, drunkiness
88 people liked it

"I'm learning skills I will use for the rest of my life by doing homework...procrastinating and negotiation."
— Bill Watterson

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, negotiation, procrastination
140 people liked it

"Fairy tales, are more than true. Not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be defeated."
— G.K. Chesterton

tags: books, inspirational
2,523 people liked it

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

tags: dreams, life
2,047 people liked it

"If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

tags: integrity
3,722 people liked it

"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

tags: dumbledore
993 people liked it

"It takes much bravery to stand up to our enemies but we need as much bravery to stand up to our friends."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

tags: courage, friends
1,282 people liked it

"It is our choices, Harry, that show us who we truly are, far more than our abilities."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

tags: choices
2,940 people liked it

"Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?"
"Yes," said Harry stiffly.
"Yes, sir."
"There's no need to call me "sir" Professor."
The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

tags: humor, rebellion, sarcasm
790 people liked it

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

tags: happiness
1,608 people liked it

"Ginny!" said Mr. Weasley, flabbergasted. "Haven't I taught you anything? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps it's brain?"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

tags: humor, trust
342 people liked it

"It was, he thought, the difference between being dragged into the arena to face a battle to the death and walking into the arena with your head held high. Some people, perhaps, would say that there was little to choose between the two ways, but Dumbledore knew - and so do I, thought Harry, with a rush of fierce pride, and so did my parents - that there was all the difference in the world."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

tags: inspirational
347 people liked it

"Percy wouldn't notice a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing one of
Dobby's hats."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

tags: humor
405 people liked it

"I enjoyed the meetings, too. It was like having friends."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

tags: friends
210 people liked it

"'Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?' Harry interrupted again.

'So he can sneak up on people,' said Ron. 'Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking...'"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

tags: humor, sarcasm
307 people liked it

"You haven't got a letter on yours," George observed. "I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid-we know we're called Gred and Forge."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

tags: humor
229 people liked it

"You'd think people had better things to gossip about," said Ginny as she sat on the common room floor, leaning against Harry’s legs and reading the Daily Prophet. "Three Dementor attacks in a week, and all Romilda Vane does is ask me if it’s true you’ve got a Hippogriff tattooed across your chest."
Ron and Hermione both roared with laughter. Harry ignored them.
"What did you tell her?"
"I told her it's a Hungarian Horntail," said Ginny, turning a page of the newspaper idly. "Much more macho."
"Thanks," said Harry, grinning. "And what did you tell her Ron’s got?"
"A Pygmy Puff, but I didn’t say where."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

tags: humor, tattoo
241 people liked it

"'Mistletoe,' said Luna dreamily, pointing at a large clump of white berries placed almost over Harry's head. He jumped out from under it.

'Good thinking,' said Luna seriously. 'It's often infested with nargles.'"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

tags: christmas, humor
149 people liked it

"Why are you worrying about YOU-KNOW-WHO, when you should be worrying about YOU-NO-POO? The constipation sensation that's gripping the nation!"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

tags: humor
185 people liked it

"'Now, you two – this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you've – you've blown up a toilet or –'

'Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet.'

'Great idea though, thanks, Mum.'"
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

152 people liked it

"The thing about growing up with Fred and George," said Ginny thoughtfully, "is that you sort of start thinking anything's possible if you've got enough nerve."
— J. K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

160 people liked it

"The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

tags: death, inspirational
146 people liked it

"You know, Minister, I disagree with Dumbledore on many counts...but you cannot deny he's got style..."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

150 people liked it

"Greatness inspires envy, envy engenders spite, spite spawns lies."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

tags: greatness
99 people liked it

"When you have seen as much of life as I have, you will not underestimate the power of obsessive love."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

tags: love
99 people liked it

"Harry!" said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. "Simply splendid to see you, old boy-"
"Marvelous," said George, pushing Fred aside and seizing Harry's hand in turn. "Absolutely spiffing."
Percy scowled.
"That's enough, now," said Mrs. Weasley.
"Mum!" said Fred as though he'd only just spotted her and seizing her hand too. "How really corking to see you-"
— J. K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

98 people liked it

"'Why were you lurking under our window?'
'Yes - yes, good point, Petunia! What were you doing under our windows, boy?'
'Listening to the news,' said Harry in a resigned voice.
His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage.
'Listening to the news! Again?'
'Well, it changes every day, you see,' said Harry."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

tags: news
84 people liked it

"'How're we getting to King's Cross tomorrow, Dad?' asked Fred as they dug into a sumptuous pudding.
'The Ministry's providing a couple of cars,' said Mr. Weasley.

Everyone looked up at him.

'Why?' said Percy curiously.

'It's because of you, Perce,' said George seriously. 'And there'll be little flags on the hoods, with HB on them-'
'-for Humongous Bighead,' said Fred."
— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

tags: family, humor
61 people liked it

"I am a wizard, not a baboon brandishing a stick."
— J.K. Rowling

tags: humor
62 people liked it

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