Watchmeshine's quotes

(showing 1-50 of 83)

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
— Albert Einstein

tags: einstein, human, humor, infinity, nature, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
12,585 people liked it

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: enemies, forgiveness, strategy
6,588 people liked it

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
— Dr. Seuss

tags: be-yourself, confidence, individuality, those-who-matter
19,018 people liked it

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
— Robert A. Heinlein

tags: cats, humor, women
3,978 people liked it

"Reality continues to ruin my life."
— Bill Watterson (The Complete Calvin and Hobbes)

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor, life
2,770 people liked it

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
— Marilyn Monroe

tags: best, life, love, mistakes, out-of-control, truth, worst
11,428 people liked it

"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer"
— Douglas Adams

tags: humor, wit
1,488 people liked it

"Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school."
— Albert Einstein

tags: fav
1,310 people liked it

"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
— Albert Einstein

tags: humor, insanity, life
9,993 people liked it

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."
— Mark Twain

tags: lies, lying, memory, truth
9,798 people liked it

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: intelligence, self-deprecation
7,963 people liked it

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square hole. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
— Apple Computer Inc.

tags: advertising, apple, change, commercial, computers, different, madness, misfits, nonconformity, progressive, quo, rebels, status, think, troublemakers
7,344 people liked it

"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them."
— Mark Twain

tags: literacy
6,348 people liked it

"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."
— Mark Twain

tags: humor, politics
1,573 people liked it

"'Classic' - a book which people praise and don't read."
— Mark Twain

tags: books, classic, reading
1,807 people liked it

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
— Groucho Marx (The Essential Groucho)

tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor
6,867 people liked it

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
— Steve Martin

tags: humor, obvious
5,679 people liked it

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
— Oscar Wilde

tags: honesty, inspirational
6,040 people liked it

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
— Thomas A. Edison

tags: edison, failure, inspirational
3,920 people liked it

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells."
— Dr. Seuss

tags: fantasy
4,197 people liked it

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
— Mark Twain

tags: education
3,232 people liked it

"There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate."
— Charles Dickens

tags: chocolate, friendship
2,120 people liked it

"For most of history, Anonymous was a woman."
— Virginia Woolf

tags: women
3,217 people liked it

"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."
— Charles M. Schulz

tags: chocolate, food, humor
3,047 people liked it

"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. "
— W.C. Fields

tags: humor, sinister
2,129 people liked it

"Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them."
— William Shakespeare (Twelfth Night)

tags: greatness
2,819 people liked it

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you."
— Rita Mae Brown

tags: humor, insanity
2,618 people liked it

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you."
— A.A. Milne (Winnie-the-Pooh)

tags: friendship
2,524 people liked it

"Well-behaved women rarely make history."
— Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

tags: it-s-so-true
2,430 people liked it

"The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits."
— Albert Einstein

tags: humor
2,256 people liked it

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."
— Mark Twain

tags: humor
2,098 people liked it

"Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple."
— Dr. Seuss

tags: life
2,017 people liked it

"Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry."
— Terry Pratchett (Thief of Time)

tags: humor
1,852 people liked it

"An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind."
— Mahatma Gandhi (GANDHI: An Autobiography or The Story of My Experiments with Truth)

tags: conflict, fighting, peace, revenge, trial, violence
1,896 people liked it

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
— Winston S. Churchill

tags: opportunity, optimism, pessimism
1,786 people liked it

"If you can't explain it to a six year old, you don't understand it yourself."
— Albert Einstein

2,028 people liked it

"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."
— Albert Einstein

tags: humor
1,731 people liked it

"Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be."
— Mark Twain

tags: humor, writing
1,599 people liked it

"Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse."
— Thomas Stephen Szasz

tags: humor, inspirational
1,721 people liked it

"If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?"
— Albert Einstein

tags: science
1,613 people liked it

"Life is pain, highness. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

tags: life, pain
663 people liked it

"Inigo Montoya: That Vizzini, he can *fuss*.
Fezzik: Fuss, fuss... I think he like to scream at *us*.
Inigo Montoya: Probably he means no *harm*.
Fezzik: He's really very short on *charm*.
Inigo Montoya: You have a great gift for rhyme.
Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time.
Vizzini: Enough of that.
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
Fezzik: If there are, we all be dead.
Vizzini: No more rhyming now, I mean it.
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?
Vizzini: DYEEAAHHHHHH."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

tags: humor, movie, rhyming
417 people liked it

"Give us the gate key."
"I have no gate key."
"Fezzik, rip his arms off."
"Oh, you mean this gate key!"
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

tags: humor, movie, violence
78 people liked it

"Ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?...Morons."
— William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

tags: humor, movie, vizzini
55 people liked it

"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity."
— Edgar Allan Poe

tags: insanity, sanity
867 people liked it

"In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule."
— Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

tags: insanity, society
168 people liked it

"I don't suffer from my insanity -- I enjoy every minute of it.
--Zarek"
— Sherrilyn Kenyon (Dance With The Devil)

136 people liked it

"If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them."
— Christopher Moore (Practical Demonkeeping)

tags: humor, insanity, sanity
127 people liked it

"We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe."
— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

tags: insanity
83 people liked it

"I'm seventeen and I'm crazy. My uncle says the two always go together. When people ask your age, he said, always say seventeen and insane."
— Ray Bradbury (Farenheit 451)

56 people liked it

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